Addison sat in her car, staring up at Felix’s front door and feeling her chest tighten like her bra was too snug. She wanted to see Felix and yet she didn’t. Maybe he wouldn’t even answer the door. Or maybe worse. Maybe Charlotte would answer. Or if Felix didn’t answer, maybe it was because Charlotte was keeping him busy. It was late after all, almost ten o’clock. Maybe they were already in bed.
But she didn’t want to think about that. She’d tortured herself enough over him. Maybe it was best to just slip Naia’s stuffed bunny in the mailbox where he’d find it the next day.
Don’t be stupid, she told herself. It was just a stuffed animal. She’d hand it over, see they were both okay, and then move on with her life. A life that, only two weeks before, had felt so perfect. Like a blockbuster movie. But now it seemed like the crappier sequel that was banged out on the heels of success but had none of the original cast. It had lost its magic. Its heart. And she knew it was because her heart belonged to Felix.
Her perfect life now seemed empty. Maybe it always had been. Nothing had changed, after all. Except she got a preview, however small, of how full it could be with Felix and Naia in it.
Addison sighed and stepped out of her car. With heavy feet, she climbed the steps to the front door because she knew Naia would want her bunny. She would have returned it earlier if she could have, but she’d worked through the previous night with the help of her friends, the dog owners, and a few handlers.
Bleary-eyed and exhausted, they’d taken the dogs straight to the competition early that morning. Then before she’d headed to the precinct to answer a few more questions, Addison helped those customers without handlers primp and preen the competitors throughout the morning.
Customers. She liked the sound of that. Something she’d thought she’d never see again. Now she had some of the most loyal customers a business owner could ask for. She’d certainly risked enough to get them—as in, her life.
Addison’s finger hovered over the doorbell, shaking slightly in anticipation. Before she could chicken out, she pushed it. She heard the muffled ding, followed by shuffling inside. Her stomach clenched with nerves. Her heart thudded so fast it felt like a hundred bouncy balls careening around inside her chest. She worried that if she opened her mouth to speak, one might come flying out.
The door squeaked open and Felix was standing on the other side. At least it wasn’t Charlotte. The moment he saw her, his dark eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t speak until he wiped his face clean of emotion.
“Hi,” he said—a little guardedly, she thought.
She gave an awkward little wave. “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?”
It was still unclear if he was happy to see her or not. She couldn’t read the blank expression or the impersonal tone of voice. Those balls in her chest increased speed. She regretted not going for the mailbox option.
“Sorry to bug you. I just thought Naia might be missing this.” Addison practically threw the bunny at him. “But I’m sure you’re busy, so I won’t keep you long.” She took a step back from the door, already fishing her keys out of her purse.
“No, not at all.” He reached out to her like he wanted to pull her inside. “Please, come in.”
“Really?” She hesitated, poking her head inside, checking for signs of Charlotte; a pair of shoes, a coat. “Are you sure?”
Felix stepped aside and tilted his head in invitation.
She swallowed a bouncy ball and stepped onto the welcome mat, staring at her shoes while he closed the door.
“So how is Naia?” she asked.
“She’s good. She finally went to sleep way past her bedtime. She kept asking for bunny.” He jiggled the stuffed animal in his hand. “I’m really glad you found it. Thanks.”
Felix was being so distant, so unfamiliar, like they hadn’t faced death together just the night before. Hadn’t spent the last two weeks fighting their attraction. Hadn’t ever kissed. Like he didn’t know how to make her body, and her heart, sing. But then again, maybe it was because she hadn’t looked him in the eye since she arrived.
Forcing her eyes to meet his, she noticed he wasn’t wearing his sling anymore. “How’s your arm?”
“Good. Good. A bit sore, but not bad.” He rolled his shoulder freely, wincing only slightly. “How are you after everything?” He gestured stiffly, like he was having an awkward conversation with a mere stranger.
Maybe that’s what he wanted to be. Strangers. Old acquaintances. Addison could be “this girl he once knew.” Perhaps that was better, she told herself. That could make it easier to move on. To stop thinking about how he’d saved her life, how easy it was to be herself when she was around him. To stop thinking about his arms around her, his laugh, his charm, and just how much she wanted to kiss him right now.
“I’m fine,” she said, finally. “A little tired.” She leaned back against the front door because “a little” was an understatement.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say good-bye last night,” he said. “Or thank you. If that even covers going through something like that with someone.” His cool behavior warmed a little. “You helped me save my daughter. You helped me clear my name. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Same here,” she said. “Now maybe you’ll start getting gigs again. Maybe it’s too late for your friend’s Irish pub, but there will be another bar, I’m sure.”
“Actually. There already is.” His face lit up, the rest of the frostiness melting. “Turns out my boss is looking at jail time for his involvement with the dognappings. With all that gambling debt Penny mentioned, he’s selling the bar to pay it off so no one is hired to shiv him in jail.” He grinned, like the threat of a good shivving was the best possible news. “The bar is up for sale.”
“That’s great.” She smiled. “Yay for shivving.”
“And with forty percent of Alistair’s reward money for finding Lilly, I’ll have more than enough for the down payment.”
“Make that fifty percent,” Addison said, with a smile. “And that’s great. I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks. But what about you? You can use the reward money to keep your business afloat for a little longer.” As their natural connection began to flow again, he seemed to forget his aloofness altogether. It felt so easy to be around him. So instinctual.
“Actually, thanks to our solving the case, business is looking up,” Addison said. “The fashion show, on the other hand, might still be a bust.” She dreaded finally facing Aiden and telling him his sure-thing investment had become a bottomless money pit.
He pulled a sympathetic face. “Still no reservations?”
“No.” She shook her head. “But it’s not until tomorrow afternoon. Still a few more hours yet. Things might pick up.”
He chuckled, almond eyes sparkling down at her, making her tingle inside and then hurt all over again at the feeling of the loss in front of her. “Ever the optimist. There’s the Addy I know and…” He petered off. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “But surely Phillip will be there. Maybe he has a few rich friends he can invite.”
“Phillip?” Her forehead winkled. “I don’t think he’ll be coming.”
Felix gave her a questioning look, and that’s when she realized he still thought she was interested in Phillip. That they were dating. The match with Phillip seemed so out of the question to her now, but she’d never actually had the chance to tell Felix, what with the dogs and Naia being stolen from the boat, and being held at gunpoint and all.
“I’m not with Phillip.” She wrinkled her nose. “I realized he wasn’t for me.”
The rest of his strangeness fell away like he pulled off a mask. But he was still hiding some emotion, she just didn’t know what it was. “What happened? I thought he was Mr. Perfect.”
“He is,” she said.
A flicker of that hidden emotion broke through before he suppressed it again.
“He’s just not perfect for me,” she shrugged. “Anyway. I’m sure Charlotte is happy you’re going to buy the bar.”
He seemed to take a moment to redirect his thoughts. “She’ll definitely have a better boss to work for.”
“Well, you’d be more than a boss.”
That little crease between his brows appeared. “What do you mean?”
“I just mean…” Her throat suddenly felt tight. She swallowed. “I’m happy for the two of you.”
“You mean Naia and I?”
“No. You and Charlotte.” She struggled to explain herself, feeling heat build beneath her carefully placed makeup. She was so tired and her thoughts were difficult to put into words. “Since you two are starting to date now. You were at the gala together and everything.”
He was kind of smiling, but in a very confused way. “I wasn’t on a date with Charlotte.”
“Well, not technically a date. I know you were really there to investigate but—”
“No,” he interrupted. “I mean we weren’t on a date.”
“But you went there together.”
“Because my car was still in the shop. She drove. We’re not dating. It’s not like that.”
Oh God, she thought. They were even more serious than she’d suspected. “When Naia was taken, Charlotte said … she said she was going to make a terrible mother.”
Felix crossed her arms, and she wondered if she was overstepping the line. It was none of her business.
“Yes,” he said. “She meant to her own child. Charlotte’s pregnant.”
Oh God! They were having a baby. That explained the rush for getting serious so fast. Maybe they’d even be married soon. Her brain, which had been struggling to keep up with only a couple of hours sleep, suddenly failed her. She leaned back against the door like the news just blew her away.
“Pregnant.” The word came out in a rush of breath. “That’s … great.” She tried to sound enthusiastic, truly she did, but it was hard to smile with the tears building in her eyes.
“Our boss found out she was expecting. Joe’s notorious for laying girls off when they’re pregnant so he doesn’t have to pay maternity leave.”
Addison scowled, trying to pull herself together. “He can’t do that. There are laws to protect her.”
“Joe’s done it before. He builds up files on everyone, a list of probationary stuff, discipline letters. It’s all total made-up bullshit, but whenever he decides he wants to get rid of someone, it looks like he has enough on them to make it legal.” He shrugged. “It’s not fair. But it’s a dive bar. It’s not exactly like we have a union.”
“That’s terrible,” she said.
“He’s a cheap bastard. She’d worked for him for five years, had earned maternity leave. When he found out she was expecting, he blackmailed her into helping load up the dogs into the van at Phillip’s fundraiser. He needed someone on the inside. Said if she didn’t do it, he’d suddenly run out of work in the next few months and lay her off.”
Addison nodded slowly. “So that’s why she helped steal the dogs.”
“She didn’t think anything bad would happen to them.” He stopped and shook his head. “I know that’s no excuse, but with a baby on the way and her man recently laid off of his job, I don’t envy the position she was in.”
Addison noted how casually he called himself “her man.” She wanted to condemn Charlotte, but then she thought about what she’d been willing to do to save her own business. And it was just her and Princess. She couldn’t imagine the pressure Charlotte had been under to keep her job.
“Well, congratulations,” Addison said at last. Trying really hard for that earnest smile. “I’m sure you and Charlotte will be very happy.” But those tears were building again, and the last thing on Earth she wanted to do was cry in front of him. She reached for the door handle behind her, getting ready to leave.
“Wait. What?” Felix blinked. He opened his mouth, his kissable mouth, and closed it again. He rubbed a hand over his face and considered Addison for a moment. “Charlotte’s pregnant. You understand it has nothing to do with me, right?”
“What?” Addison’s eyes widened and then quickly narrowed. “How can you say that? You can’t just turn your back on her. Take some responsibility, Felix.” Her voice rose, but she tried to keep it low as to not wake Naia.
“Addy. Listen to me.” Felix gripped her by the shoulders and gave her a soft shake. “Charlotte is pregnant, but not with my baby. She’s pregnant by her boyfriend.”
She blinked. “Boyfriend?”
“Yes. Boy-who-is-not-me boyfriend.” He spoke slowly and clearly so she could understand.
“Not you?” Blink, blink went her eyes. “You’re not pregnant? You’re not marrying Charlotte?”
“What? No!” He laughed his rich belly laugh. “Where is this coming from? I told you we’re just friends.”
“B-But the flirting,” she stuttered. “And you seemed so close at the gala. And … and…” She didn’t know why she was arguing, like she was trying to convince him he was really dating her, whether he knew it or not. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. After everything she’d seen. “What about the night you went to her house?”
Felix grew quiet and still, his hands dropped from her shoulders. Addison bit her lip. She hadn’t considered how he’d react to the news before it flew out of her mouth. She’d glazed over that tidbit of information on the Belle. Now that she’d reminded him, his gaze narrowed.
“You were following me?” he asked.
She raised her hands, holding off his anger. “I had no idea you’d be there. I know that you insisted Charlotte was innocent, but I just didn’t trust her. I felt there was more going on.”
Felix crossed his arms and seemed to think for a moment. “Well, I can’t blame you. You were right.” He sighed. “She’d called me over there and confessed everything that night about her involvement. She was so upset.”
Addison’s hand was still clasped tightly around the door handle, but mostly so she didn’t fall over with fatigue, or surprise. His face screwed up like he worried she was still going to walk out. He laid his hands on the door on either side of her, blocking her there. But she didn’t think she had the energy to move even if her brain could catch up.
“But I’ve never been interested in Charlotte,” he said. “Ever.”
Addison remembered the embrace she’d witnessed between Felix and Charlotte, the desperation and pleading in her voice as she greeted him at the door. Charlotte had been upset. She needed a friend, comfort. That’s all it was. And she’d probably been nervous at the gala. That would explain the clinginess.
“Why did you let me think you and Charlotte were at the gala together?” Addison asked. “Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t a date?”
“Why should I have? You were on a date yourself. And, if I’m honest”—his voice softened—“maybe it was because I wanted you to be a little jealous. I know I was.” His Adam’s apple bobbed again.
“Jealous of Phillip? But it wasn’t a date, not really. I knew the night before that it wasn’t right. You were right. It was all just a made-up fairy tale in my head. It wasn’t real,” she said. “I left Phillip’s house that night, just after you did.”
He straightened at the news. “You did?”
Felix’s entryway grew quiet as Addison became silent for a moment, mulling everything over. As did Felix. All the looks she’d imagined between him and Charlotte, all the times she assumed they were flirting. All the misjudgments. Meanwhile, she’d been ignoring something real growing between the two of them this whole time.
“So,” she finally said, “I had it all wrong with you and Charlotte?”
His lip curled in amusement. “Yup.”
Her shoulders drooped, feeling the weight of all her misplaced emotions. “Just like I had you wrong right from the start.”
“Seems that way,” he said, his eyes narrowing with some emotion, maybe hesitation. “I suppose I had you and Phillip wrong too.”
“I think I had it more wrong than you did.” Addison frowned. “I guess I thought that being with someone like Phillip could make life so much easier. That if I lived a life like that, what possible reasons would we have to fight? But then what? We would have had money, but would we have had what it really took to make a relationship work?” As she thought about this—for the millionth time—her eyes drifted sightlessly over his entryway, as though searching for the answer.
Even with everything that had happened over the last couple of days, there wasn’t five minutes that had gone by that she didn’t reflect on her conversation with her dad, on his relationship with Dora, and what she could remember of her mother. “There’s more to life than money,” she said to Felix, truly understanding what that meant now that she’d faced the option of having it and chose to walk away for something else—even the remote possibility of it.
“Like what?” Felix asked. She didn’t think it was because he didn’t know. He wanted to hear her say it.
Her gaze didn’t waver as she held his. “Love.”
“And is that what you want?” His body seemed to move an inch closer, as though anticipating, hoping for the right answer.
“I think I might have already found it.”
That distant stranger who answered the door was gone for good. Her Felix was back, and it seemed there was nothing standing in their way. Not Charlotte, not Phillip, not even Addison’s brain. And when he took a hesitant step toward her, there wasn’t even space left between them.
Addison rubbed her temples and sighed. “Confusing much?”
“Jumping to conclusions much?” He reached up to her face, his hands hovering over her like he wanted to touch her, but was uncertain of how she felt.
She craved his usual touch: firm, sure, and greedy. She gave him an inviting look that made sure he knew how she felt. “Want me much?”
“Oh so very much.” He kissed her. “Much.” He kissed her again. “Much.” With a softer look than she’d ever seen in his eyes, he held her face. “And you’re right. Love is so much more. I believe it can get you through anything. Can get us through anything, because I’ll stick by you through whatever comes at us. For better or worse. You know that, right?”
Unable to resist, she brought a hand up to explore this sweeter expression with her fingers, this new, unguarded way that he looked at her. “I know. You’ve already proven that during the last couple of weeks.”
“And you’ve been there for me. And Naia.” His eyes creased, as though remembering when he thought he’d lost her.
While Addison had been worried about finding a guy who would stick around through thick and thin, she suddenly realized that he probably worried about the same thing. Hadn’t he experienced his own sense of loss, of abandonment by Naia’s mother? And like Addison needed him to be there for her, she wanted to be there for him.
“And I always will be,” she said.
When Felix kissed her once more, he remained locked there. He explored her mouth, her tongue, slowly, confidently. There was no rush; Addison wasn’t going anywhere. Because she knew why she was there this time. It wasn’t lust, or curiosity, or a temporary insanity, or because her heart was leading her astray. She was there because she chose to be. Her heart and her brain finally agreed that Felix was the one.
Felix swept Addison’s golden curls aside, forging a trial of kisses down her neck. “You must be exhausted after the last twenty-four hours,” he mumbled against her shoulder.
The vibration of his words against her skin made her lower half clench with anticipation, proving that apparently she wasn’t that tired.
“Well, I suppose it is way past my bedtime,” she teased.
“You do seem tired,” he said, with mock seriousness. “Maybe too tired to drive all the way home.”
“You’re right. It might not be safe.” She tried to act cool, but her voice shook, giving her excitement away.
“I couldn’t live with myself if I sent you on your way and something happened to you.” All trace of teasing humor was gone. His eyes flickered and his breath hitched like he’d never meant anything more in his life.
“I couldn’t live with it if you sent me on my way either,” she said softly.
“Maybe you should stay here. I could tuck you in.” He reached around her, grabbing her butt with a mischievous grin.
She arched against him in surprise. “Tuck away.”
Bending down, Felix swept her up into his arms, wincing a little because of his shoulder. He winked at her. “Milady.”
She laid a swooning princess hand against her forehead as he carried her up the stairs. “Oh, my knight in shining armor.” Maybe there was room for a little fantasy between them, after all.
However, as he carried her down the hall toward the room at the end, her mind didn’t wander. It didn’t transport her to fantasies of their future, all the possible adventures they could have, imagining them as different characters in new settings. She remained in the moment, because she could think of no better place to be. Besides, who wanted to settle for PG-rated fairy tales when she could have R-rated?
And that was clearly what Felix had in mind as he booted his door open impatiently. A lamp glowed from his bedside table, so she could see the lust in his expression. With a boyish grin, he suddenly let her go and dropped her on his bed. She squealed before she hit the comforter.
Locking his bedroom door, he pulled off his shirt. The light caught his tanned skin, highlighting every hard dip and swell of his muscles. Holding her gaze, he unfastened his worn jeans, and they crumpled to the floor. He didn’t hesitate before reaching for the waistband of his boxers and tugging them down too.
She gasped as Felix was released, and obviously ready for her. A shudder of anticipation coursed through her at the sight of him exposed so unceremoniously, so confidently.
He pounced on her, diving playfully onto the bed. Addison’s hands came up automatically, impatient to begin exploring. But as hasty as he’d been preparing himself for her, he slowed down to remove her clothes.
He slid each piece of clothing off her body reverently, like he was opening that Tiffany’s box. Her anticipation built with each button he slipped free, each sock he tugged off like it was sexy lingerie.
When he dragged her pants down over her hips, kissing her legs as he went, she suddenly gasped.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She felt heat crawl up her face. “I, umm, forgot to shave my legs. I didn’t exactly anticipate this.”
Felix laughed, his breath tickling her thighs. “Addy, I don’t care. I don’t care about the shaving, and the makeup, and the hair, and the clothes. I prefer you without all of it.” He nibbled on her inner thigh, making her squeak. “Especially without the clothes.”
As though to prove his point, he tugged off her pants the rest of the way and rubbed his face up her bare legs, his own stubble scratching her skin deliciously.
Ticklish, she giggled and pulled her legs away. Grasping her ankles, he held them apart. His hands were firm and unyielding as his stubble rubbed higher and higher up her inner thigh.
She shivered and squirmed until his stubble tickled between her legs, adding to the soothing sensation of his kiss, his wet tongue, his probing fingers. Forget R-rated, she thought, this is XXX.
As her body warmed with each kiss, each lick, she struggled to keep quiet. She grunted and gripped the sheets beneath her, twisting them in her hands. When her body began to shake and twitch with pleasure, she turned her face toward a pillow and cried into it to muffle her scream.
Addison was still vibrating with pleasure, coming down from her high, so she hadn’t even noticed he’d already put on a condom until he lowered his body on top of hers. She felt his weight, his presence, secure her, ground her. It was as though without him she’d float away like a hot air balloon, drifting aimlessly without direction or purpose for the rest of her life. She would be doomed to look down at the people below, never attached or truly connected to anything.
Felix and Naia could be that connection, she thought. Not tie her down like she’d convinced herself a family would. They could keep her grounded. Anchor her to reality.
Addison laid her palms against Felix’s chest, enjoying the sensation as she dragged them down his torso, his abs, his hips, enjoying the security that came with how real he felt, how solid, how firm. Very, very firm.
Felix moaned as her fingers curled around that firmness and guided him inside of her, filling her up, like he filled that last remaining part in her life. He filled her again, and again, and again, until she was stifling her cries of pleasure against his shoulder and he was groaning into her hair.
Addison knew in her heart that Felix was the one. He may not have been Prince Charming, and it may not have been fairy tale perfect. It was better. It wasn’t someone else’s story, but her own. It was real. Felix was real. What they had was real.