Are we in control, or is God? For my friends Brian and Christyn Taylor, the question is more than academic. During the course of one year, their seven-year-old daughter was hospitalized for more than six months with six surgeries. Brian’s job was discontinued, several family members died and another was diagnosed with brain cancer, and Christyn was pregnant with their fourth child. Life was tough. She blogged:
God and I had a deal—I would endure the trials that came my way as long as he acknowledged my stopping point. He knew where my line had been drawn, and I knew in my heart that he would never cross it.
He did. I delivered a stillborn baby girl. With my daughter Rebecca still at home on a feeding tube and her future health completely unknown, it was a foregone conclusion that this baby we so wanted and loved would be saved. She wasn’t. My line in the sand was crossed. My one-way deal with God was shattered.
Everything changed in that moment. Fear set in, and my faith began to crumble. My “safety zone” with God was no longer safe. If this could happen in the midst of our greatest struggles, then anything was fair game. For the first time in my life, anxiety began to overwhelm me.6
Ultimately, our choice comes down to this: trust God or turn away. He will cross the line. He will shatter our expectations. And we will be left to make a decision.
Christyn Taylor made hers. She concluded her blog with these words:
I have spent weeks trying to figure out why a God I so love could let this happen to my family at such a time. The only conclusion I came to was this: I have to give up my line in the sand. I have to offer my entire life, every minute portion of it, to God’s control regardless of the outcome.
My family is in God’s hands. No lines have been drawn, no deals made. I have given our lives to the Lord. Peace has entered where panic once resided, and calmness settled where anxiety once ruled.