There is a firm tradition when writing a book of useful life tips. The author starts out with minor points and gradually builds toward more powerful ones. Partly this is a trick to keep the reader engaged out of pure suspense. But in this somewhat perverse volume, let’s perversely do the opposite.
Imagine that someone announced that she wanted to lower her mood, but that forty changes seemed far too many. What if she were only willing to try ten—which ten would be most effective? What if she were willing to make only five changes? Three? What if she were only willing to change one thing? In that case, the choice would be simple. To increase your level of misery, reduce your level of exercise.
Of course, this recommendation is problematic, because for many who live in developed societies, it is all but impossible to carry out. The average citizen’s level of exertion is already about as low as it can possibly get without outright paralysis. Teenagers complain of cramps if forced to walk to the convenience store. Thirty-year-olds pause for breath halfway up a flight of stairs. Forty-year-olds circle parking lots like descending Airbuses, searching for a space ten yards closer to the donut shop.
The low level of physical fitness probably accounts for a great deal of the preexisting misery in Western societies. It may not have been pleasant for cave people to be chased by saber-toothed tigers, but at least it gave them an occasional workout.
Nevertheless, for those whose lifestyle involves sufficient activity to set off a motion detector now and then, reducing the amount of exercise is a sound strategy. There is a huge body of evidence linking inactivity to lower mood.
Helpful researchers have examined the issue from all angles. When people are tested for both physical fitness and mood, an inverse relationship between the two is typically found. Especially unhappy individuals—those diagnosed with clinical depression—are, on average, less physically fit than their more cheerful counterparts.
Clever misery-seekers will point out a snag with this research—the chicken-and-egg problem. Are sedentary people more miserable, or do the miserable exercise less? The correct answer, it appears, is both. This makes the avoidance of exercise particularly potent. Do less exercise and your mood will decline, resulting in a greater tendency to be inactive. If you can successfully initiate just a few vicious circles like this one, you will be well on your way to unhappiness.
Still not convinced? Take active individuals and reduce their level of exercise. Within as little as two weeks, fatigue and negative mood begin to set in.1 Take unhappy individuals and randomly assign them to exercise classes (thirty minutes, three times a week) or no such classes.2 On average, the exercisers will experience a loss of misery, whereas their inactive associates conserve it. The mood-raising effect of exercise is approximately as powerful as medication or psychotherapy. Those wishing greater unhappiness in their lives, then, must avoid physical fitness at all costs.
Luckily, all of Western society is there to help. In previous eras you would inadvertently get exercise by doing almost anything—running after buffalo, harvesting rice, gathering firewood, avoiding hostile neighbors. Today we have built a culture in which exercise is nonessential and even inconvenient. You seldom have to lift or carry anything of any weight, you need never walk more than a city block, and elevators (essentially forklifts for humans) can take you to any floor of any building you enter.
Today, people who want to be more fit often find that they have to drive to a business specially devoted to that purpose, change their clothes, get on special exercise machines that accomplish nothing other than help the inert burn energy, change their clothes again, and drive home. Some gyms have escalators, so you needn’t exhaust yourself climbing any stairs before you arrive at the StairMaster.
Of course, anyone who watches late-night television will know that gyms are not essential; one can simply purchase cheaply built home exercise equipment. This is easily avoided, but if you one day awaken and discover with alarm that you or a well-meaning friend has ordered such a device, all is not lost. Just do what almost everyone else does. Hang a piece of clothing on it. Henceforth it is unlikely to be used for anything else.
The only caution about exercise is that it must be avoided religiously. As noted in the above studies, just thirty minutes of exercise three times per week is sufficient to disrupt unhappiness in most people. And exercise beyond this level is even worse. So it is not sufficient just to let your gym membership lapse. You must be more diligent:
The unhappy heart is a fragile organ. It must never be permitted to pump rapidly.