Zou Jingzhi
Among my fictional writings is a love letter.
In the Great Northern Wilderness, we faced snow six months of the year. The indifference, monotony, and inevitability of snow generated a sense of boredom. The best way to kill time was to gamble and the second-best way was to play pranks on one another.
“Lid” was a schoolmate. The origin of his nickname is now beyond recall. A year or two older, Lid was despised by the rest of us for being filthy, lazy, and gluttonous. He fed quite a few insects with his own body, mostly lice (the marines), scabies (tanks), and, finally fleas (airmen). Because all of these bugs sucked his blood, Lid looked very pale. He’d sit there all day, his hands stuffed into his clothes, assessing and reorganizing his “army.” Often, he would stammer out speeches to himself. Lid led a dejected and desolate life, spending most of his energy dealing with his insects.
Crafting a love letter to Lid was “Roast Chicken’s” idea. He was another schoolmate of mine. Once he thought it up, I was responsible for writing it.
At the time, I hadn’t seen books like The Encyclopedia of Love Letters or The Collection of Xi Murong’s Poetry; I had to fabricate everything out of thin air, throwing in some local slang and idiomatic phrases for color. I can still remember parts of the letter verbatim: “Dear XXX, You are such a nice guy! As the proverb says, when watering plants you must water the roots, so when starting a relationship you must do it from the heart…If you want to meet me so we can get to know each other and fall in love, please come to the department store gate at noon on…” The letter, peppered with lots of exclamation marks, was signed, in the fashion of the day, “You-Know-Who.”
Roast Chicken read it and thought it was good. To show his appreciation, he bought a cheap bottle of grass-seed liquor as my reward. (Looking back, I think that ought to count as the first royalty I ever earned!)
We placed the letter on Lid’s dirty bed. While playing poker, we watched his every move. Here is what we saw: Lid entered the room, climbed to the upper berth of the bunk bed, and found the letter. Looking surprised, he sat down and read it, then lay down and read it once more. Dazed, he stared at the letter and read it a third time. Then he put away the letter, a radiant glow washing over his face.
In the days that followed, Lid heated large quantities of water to wash and boil his bedding and clothes. Different colors bled into one another; laundry of dubious shades hung all over our dorm. He also made a trip to another company and managed to get hold of a woolen overcoat, a pair of loafers, and a pair of leather gloves. We all knew he was preparing frantically for that fake date. In the blink of an eye, all the three hundred–plus educated youth of the company knew the truth and they kept it from Lid. This was a bit too heartless. A couple of times, I tried to throw hints his way, but without success. He was elated; the drama had to play out in full before it could end.
It was a heroic scene. Snow was falling thick and fast when Lid went in a thin outfit that barely fit him to stand by the gate to the department store. All the educated youth of the company were watching him from the windows of their dorm. Snow was falling on his head, his eyelashes, and the rest of him as Lid calmly and resolutely stood there.
He was waiting so single-mindedly that he didn’t bother to brush the snow off his head. The innocent snow was turning him white…
A sense of shame rose in our hearts; Lid’s firmness and candor made us feel terrible. Roast Chicken opened the back window to call him in and everybody joined in the effort. Eventually, two of us had to jump out and bring the reluctant Lid back inside.
In the days that followed, Lid didn’t speak a word, just walked in and out of the dorm clad in the same outfit. We were all worried. One evening, I took out my bottle of grass-seed liquor and asked him to have some with me. Halfway through the bottle, he told me that he didn’t hate us for what had happened because he didn’t think the letter was a fake. He really believed that there was a girl who would actually write him a letter of such burning passion. She had just been scared away because we showed up too early that day, but she would arrange to meet him again.
I couldn’t console him or make amends. He lived with a firm sense of purpose, and now his heart was set in expectation. We were the pathetic ones. When the liquor was gone, I passed out, but he stayed completely sober.
(2007)
VOCABULARY AND USAGE
| 平生 |
píngshēng |
in one’s life |
他平生从没离开过美国。 |
| 北大荒 |
bĕidàhuāng |
the Great Northern Wilderness |
北大荒位于中国东北部，那里气候寒冷，土地肥沃。 |
| 无聊 |
wúliáo |
bored; boring |
这部电视剧的情节很无聊。 |
| 打发 |
dăfa |
pass (time) |
暑假期间，我常常出去逛街买衣服打发时间。 |
| 打赌 |
dădŭ |
bet; make a bet |
你敢就今年的总统选举跟我打个赌吗？ |
| 恶作剧 |
èzuòjù |
mischief; practical joke; monkey business |
四月的愚人节是恶作剧的好机会。 |
| 缘自 |
yuánzì |
originate from; stem from |
这个成语缘自司马迁的 《史记》。 |
| 典 |
diăn |
classical texts |
《史记》 和 《汉书》 都是中文典籍。 |
| (年)长 |
(nián) zhăng |
be senior to; older |
姐姐长我八岁；哥哥长我四岁。 |
| 懒 |
lăn |
lazy |
谁说天下人都好吃懒做？ |
| 馋 |
chán |
be fond of (food); covetous |
眼不馋，心不贪。 |
| 虱子 |
shīzi |
lice |
中国有句歇后语：秃子头上的虱子——明摆着的。 |
| 次之 |
cì zhī |
followed by; second to |
文中 “臭虫次之” 是说臭虫的数量只比虱子少。 |
| 跳蚤 |
tiàozăo |
flee |
跳蚤会咬人的，会让你睡不着觉！ |
| 累赘 |
léizhuì |
encumbrance; burdensome |
出去野营带着高跟鞋只会是累赘。 |
| 终日 |
zhōngrì |
all day long |
加州是个好地方，终日阳光灿烂。 |
| 探入 |
tàn rù |
stretch into |
我把手探入水中，试试温度。 |
| 清点 |
qīngdiăn |
check and count |
老师每天早上都会清点学生出勤人数。 |
| 整编 |
zhĕngbiān |
regroup |
军队需要经常整编才能保持战斗力。 |
| 消沉 |
xiāochén |
dejected; low-spirited; depressed |
离婚以后，他一直很消沉，终日闷闷不乐。 |
| 落寞 |
luòmò |
lonely |
谢谢你在我落寞时给予的关照！ |
| 为…起见 |
wèi…qĭjiàn |
for the purpose of; in order to |
为公平起见，每个人的回答都必须在三十秒以内。 |
| 交心 |
jiāoxīn |
open hearts to each other |
他们俩是能交心的好朋友。 |
| 署名 |
shŭmíng |
sign; signature |
这封信的署名是知名不具。 |
| 知名不具 |
zhīmíng bújù |
anonymously |
|
| 广 |
guăng |
extensively |
这款手机在中国和印度都广受欢迎。 |
| 钦敬 |
qīn jìng |
admire and respect |
我对父辈充满了钦敬。 |
| 劣质 |
lièzhì |
of poor quality; inferior |
这条劣质的裤子只穿了两次就开线了。 |
| 奖赏 |
jiăngshăng |
reward; prize |
奖学金应该是对学习的奖赏吧。 |
| 追溯 |
zhuīsù |
trace back |
中国的历史可以追溯到几千年以前。 |
| 稿酬 |
găochóu |
money paid for a piece of writing |
我用这本书的稿酬带妈妈去欧洲转了转。 |
| 濡染 |
rúrăn |
dip (in ink); imbue; immerse; influence |
他从小就上国际学校，受到了东西方文化的交叉濡染。 |
| 筹借 |
chóujiè |
raise and borrow |
你为什么不向朋友和家人筹借创业资金呢？ |
| 懒汉鞋 |
lănhànxié |
Chinese cloth shoes with elastic gussets |
那时懒汉鞋流行是因为它穿起来方便，又很舒服。 |
| 独 |
dú |
only |
开会时间到了，独她还缺席。 |
| 瞒 |
mán |
conceal from |
他瞒着妈妈玩游戏。 |
| 点 |
diăn |
offer hints; give tips |
这题对他来说太难了，你点他也没用。 |
| 残酷 |
cánkù |
cruel |
你不能没收我的手机，这对我太残酷了！ |
| 收场 |
shōuchăng |
end |
自己闹的笑话只能自己出来收场。 |
| 掸 |
dăn |
brush lightly; whisk |
她轻轻地掸去了身上的灰尘。 |
| 空暇 |
kòngxiá |
free time; leisure |
我忙得没有空暇陪家人出去吃饭。 |
| 睫毛 |
jiémáo |
eyelashes |
他站在那里一动不动，连睫毛都不眨。 |
| 染 |
răn |
dye |
你的红围巾掉色，染花了我的白衬衫。 |
| 羞辱 |
xiūrŭ |
shame; dishonor |
最让他难过的是自己的错误使父母蒙受羞辱。 |
| 共享 |
gòngxiăng |
share; shared |
地球是大家共享的家园。 |
| 炽烈 |
chìliè |
burning fiercely |
他炽烈的爱融化了我的心。 |
| 劝慰 |
quànwèi |
console |
这时候他是听不进别人的劝慰的。 |
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. What does the first line of the story tell you about the narrator? Why is this important?
2. “Weisheng Holding the Column” (尾生抱柱 wĕishēngbàozhù) is an idiom from Zhuangzi:1 “Floods came while Weisheng waited beneath a bridge for his beloved. He stands his ground even though the flood takes his life.” Is this story simply a re-envisioning of the Weisheng idiom?
3. Please draw a character sketch of Lid. How is Lid different from and similar to the narrator?
4. Do you think Lid’s action was heroic? Why did the narrator and his friends start to feel ashamed?
5. How does your own culture of origin treat this sense of shame?
6. Confucian culture places much emphasis on this sense of shame. “Propriety, righteousness, honesty, and the sense of shame (礼义廉耻 lĭ yì lián chĭ)” are the four virtues of behavior. Does this story help you understand why this is the case?
7. What does “sober” mean in this context?
1. 本篇的开场白让你对叙述人有了什么样的了解？为什么这样的开场很重要？
2. “尾生抱柱” 是 “庄子” 里的一个典故。尾生在桥下等待自己的恋人时，洪水来了。尾生没有离开，结果，洪水夺走了他的性命。“伪造的情书” 仅仅是这一典故的当代翻版吗？
3. 请描述一下壶盖这个人物。请说说壶盖与叙述人的不同和相同。
4. 你觉得壶盖的行为有什么壮烈之处吗？为什么叙述人，以及跟他一起恶作剧的朋友们，会对自己的所作所为感到羞耻？
5. 你的母语文化怎样对待这样的羞耻感？
6. 儒家文化很重视这样的自我羞耻感。礼义廉耻是儒家文化的四个行为美德。这篇故事帮助你理解为什么会是这样了吗？
7. 在本文的情境中，“清醒” 是什么意思？
AUTHOR BIO
Zou Jingzhi (1952–) is a prolific writer known mostly for his works for the stage and screen. Born in 1952 in Nanchang, Zou moved with his family a year later to Beijing, a city with which he identified because of his love for the Beijing dialect. Sent down to the northeast in 1969, he spent eight years farming and acting. In jest, he said that he was a tough seedling from the field who had also been tempered by the hard work of a bricklayer and the technical challenges of a carpenter after he returned to Beijing in 1977. He valued every job he had, though they fell far short of his original dream of becoming an animal keeper. He eventually decided to pursue becoming an opera singer and trained for many years. After he published his first short-short story and poem, his infatuation with language took over.
His writing covers a wide range of genres: poetry, prose, fiction, drama, librettos for operas, and screenplays for film and television. Royalty-rich himself, he has also been a moneymaker for the television industry. His series Kang Xi Incognito Travel (康熙微服私访记), The Eloquent Ji Xiaolan (铁齿铜牙纪晓岚), and The Sweet Fragrance of Huaihua in May (五月槐花香) entertained the Chinese people for years. His most recent award-winning screen adaptation is Zhang Yimou’s film Coming Home (归来, 2015). In 2014, together with Xu Haofeng and Wong Kar Wai, he won best screenplay at the Thirty-Third Hong Kong Film Awards (第三十三届香港电影金像奖). Known as the leading playwright of China, Zou Jingzhi has also written librettos for two Western-style operas: Xi Shi (西施) and The Chinese Orphan (赵氏孤儿). Coming of age amid the Cultural Revolution, Zou and his generation have a special attachment to that time, which may be felt in the story’s embrace of innocence, love, and hope.