An Shiliu
Translated by Chen Qiao
He and she were colleagues.
Both were married to others before they met; yet he’d fallen helplessly in love with her at first sight.
He was the type of man who is transparent from head to toe—his heart and its expressions completely open to the sun. His feelings were no secret to anyone. She, on the other hand, was introverted and as calm as a lake. Well, not just like one—she was a calm lake.
He was a star at the firm. Each time he won a big contract, after having gone through all kinds of difficulties, and returned in triumph, he would shout “Ruyi, Ruyi, where are you?” He always wanted her to be the first to know. At the celebration party that followed, he would dance with joy at the smallest word of congratulations from her, intoxicated with happiness. Yes, absolutely intoxicated! Throughout the party, he would be his liveliest, most charming self, drawing the utmost acclaim, attention, and respect.
When the party dispersed late at night, he would carefully arrange for her ride home, then come back to find a few close friends to go out drinking somewhere. When he had a bit too much, he would become silent, then lapse into a reverie of love. Seeing his odd behavior, his friends would ask, “Hey man, what’s wrong?” Suddenly, as if waking from a dream, he would squint and tilt his head, blurting out a bizarre but simple question: “How come Ruyi is so thin?”
The first time they heard this, his friends got really excited “Thin? You sure? So you finally succeeded!”
Instantly, he hung his head in agony.
His friends then knew there had been no progress. He was just truly concerned about her, every little bit of her, and treasured her deep in his heart.
Many similar scenes later, his indignant friends could no longer hold back their disdain, “Man, what a lovesick brother! How come, caring and loving as you are, you haven’t gotten with her yet?”
Well, he couldn’t.
One stormy night, his colleagues who were working overtime in the office tried to create an opportunity for him to be with Ruyi. As if by unspoken agreement, they raced through their work and quietly, conveniently, vanished one at a time. By the time Ruyi realized what had happened, only the two of them were left. Amid thunder and lightning, the energy-saving lights created an uneasy, secluded atmosphere; a seductive ambience circulated through the spacious office. She could feel that something was about to happen. She turned around to leave, but suddenly he grabbed her by the arms. Silently, he stared at her, tears pouring down his cheeks—yes, pouring, like torrential rain. Sitting in the chair next to her, he, a strong, tall man, brought her exquisite body close to his with a light tug. Looking at the uncontrollable tears streaming down his face, she embraced him with open arms, softly resting his head on her shoulder. When he tried to stand up, she gently pushed him back down in the chair, thwarting his amorous attempt for her lips. He then tried to slip downward. Again, gently, she stopped him from seeking her tender body. Women! Who said they aren’t powerful? She kept his head locked on her shoulder. One minute passed, five minutes passed…Eventually, his tears stopped.
His sense of smell returned with his presence of mind. He could smell her—a scent different from the manufactured fragrances of other women. She smelled natural, traditional. The scent was so faint only his heart could detect it, yet so strong it evoked the bonds of childhood. It called to mind the sprawling green wilderness and the golden expanse of wheat fields, lingering loving memories…broad and profound, warm and kind, magnanimous…Oh, it was the smell of Mother!
He calmed down then, falling into a state of peace…
Ten years later, she resigned from the firm to open a gallery. He had already been made CEO by then, and they had kept up their genuine friendship all those years.
It was known to all at the time that his female secretary was chasing after him, just as he had chased Ruyi before. The two women spent a whole morning together as the secretary was helping relieve Ruyi of her shift. It was all work, not a word of small talk. At the end of the morning, the secretary let out a sigh, “Ruyi, don’t you want to give me some advice?” With a modest smile, Ruyi patted the secretary on the shoulder and shook her head. Not the type to dish out advice, she did have something to say—something that dwelled so deep in her heart she would never share it with anyone.
“If you love him, give him peace.”
(2012)
VOCABULARY AND USAGE
| 一见倾心 |
yíjiànqīngxīn |
love at first sight |
他们一见倾心，很快就结了婚。 |
| 路人皆知 |
lùrénjiēzhī |
known by everyone |
他的音乐天赋是路人皆知的事实。 |
| 大拿 |
dàná |
a person with power and/or great skills |
他是我们公司开发新产品的大拿。 |
| 称心 |
chènxīn |
gratifying; gratified |
他找到了一个称心如意的工作。 |
| 呼啸 |
hūxiào |
whiz; scream |
空中一架飞机呼啸而过。 |
| 凯旋 |
kăixuán |
triumphant return |
拿破仑修了凯旋门迎接胜利归来的将士。 |
| 手舞足蹈 |
shŏuwŭzúdăo |
dance with joy |
拿到了耶鲁大学的奖学金，她高兴得手舞足蹈。 |
| 张扬 (个性) |
zhāngyáng (gèxìng) |
bring (individuality) into full play; publicize; display |
其实说话做事不张扬也是她张扬自己独特个性的方式。 |
| 因子 |
yīnzĭ |
factor; gene; trait |
小王的大脑里有最优秀的数学因子。 |
| 出风头 |
chūfēngtou |
show off; be in the limelight |
他是不会放过任何一个出风头的机会的。 |
| 尽 |
jìn |
to the greatest extent |
你们想尽一切办法救他了吗？ |
| 吸眼球 |
xī yănqiú |
catch someone’s eye; eye-catching |
媒体的很多做法是为了吸住观众的眼球。 |
| 足 |
zú |
ample; enough; as much as |
我真的是酒足饭饱了，我们喝了足有一斤大曲。 |
| 铁子 |
tiĕzi |
sworn friend; buddy |
东北话的 “铁子” 就是咱们北京人所说的 铁哥们。 |
| 酒至酣处 |
jiŭzhìhānchù |
near-drunkenness |
俗话说的好，酒至酣处吐真言。 |
| 陡然 |
dŏurán |
unexpectedly; abruptly |
最近，这家网站用户数量陡然上升。 |
| 呓语 |
yìyŭ |
crazy talk; talk in one’s sleep |
他因高烧呓语不断，可没人知道他到底在说什么。 |
| 垂 |
chuí |
hang down |
她害羞得脑袋垂到了胸前。 |
| 怜惜 |
liánxī |
care about dearly; take pity on |
小女孩娇小无助的样子令人怜惜。 |
| 罢了 |
bàle |
a particle indicating “that’s all” |
别跟我说要洗头，你就是不想与我约会罢了。 |
| 愤愤然 |
fènfènrán |
indignantly |
眼看着得不到多数人的支持，他只好愤愤然地退出了选举。 |
| 不约而同 |
bùyuē’értóng |
happen to coincide |
来年的这一天，他们又不约而同地来到这里。 |
| 加紧 |
jiājĭn |
speed up; hurry up |
客人明天要来提货，请加点儿紧吧。 |
| 巧妙 |
qiăomiào |
clever; ingeniously |
发言人巧妙地回答了这些敏感问题。 |
| 不动声色 |
búdòng-shēngsè |
maintain one’s composure |
对方在激化矛盾，他却不动声色，保持淡定。 |
| 隐退 |
yĭntuì |
retreat; disappear (from society, politics) |
这位主持人在事业高峰时隐退了，回到家乡小镇当起了一名小学老师。 |
| 营造 |
yíngzào |
construct; build |
美好的人生是要靠自己的努力精心营造的。 |
| 清冷孤寂 |
qīnglĕng gūjì |
chilly and lonely |
你有这么多儿孙辈的孩子，老年怎么会清冷孤寂呢？ |
| 空旷 |
kōngkuàng |
open; spacious |
如今离了婚的她在这空旷的大房子里形单影孤。 |
| 而 |
ér |
and; as well as |
这里的百姓勇敢而善良。 |
| 暧昧 |
àimèi |
ambiguous; vague |
如果他和你玩暧昧，那就说明他还是不够喜欢你。 |
| 际遇 |
jìyù |
fate; chance |
到目前为止，我生活中最美好的际遇就是在庐山碰到了你。 |
| 迫近 |
pòjìn |
approach; close in on; imminent |
枪声告诉我们敌军在一步步迫近。 |
| 亦 |
yì |
also; too |
中文有个说法叫 盗亦有道。 |
| 小巧玲珑 |
xiăoqiăo línglóng |
little and dainty; small and delicate |
圣诞树上挂满了小巧玲珑的饰品。 |
| 狂放不羁 |
kuángfàng bùjī |
unrestrained; uninhibited |
我很佩服他那狂放不羁的精神。 |
| 襟怀 |
jīnhuái |
bosom; breadth of mind |
她有着一个负责任女性博大而坦荡的襟怀。 |
| 拢 |
lŏng |
hold; draw (near) to; gather up |
妈妈把孩子拢在怀里，轻声唱起了一支摇篮曲。 |
| 安定 |
āndìng |
settle; stabilize |
有了冰淇淋，那孩子就能在椅子上安定一小会儿了。 |
| 断绝 |
duànjué |
sever; break off |
我早已和那个犯罪团伙断绝了一切关系。 |
| 情爱之旅 |
qíng’àizhīlǚ |
journey of love |
这对恋人说他们的情爱之旅没有终点。 |
| 滑落 |
huáluò |
slide; slip off |
肥皂一次又一次从她手中滑落。 |
| 身段 |
shēnduàn |
figure |
她身段柔软，跳起舞来很好看。 |
| 柔软 |
róuruăn |
soft; lithe |
|
| 欲望 |
yùwàng |
desire/lust; craving |
欲望和爱分得开吗？欲望是成功之母吗？ |
| 牢牢地 |
láoláodi |
firmly |
小时候看的童话故事我都牢牢地记在心里了。 |
| 安置 |
ānzhì |
arrange for; find a place for |
我得先安置好了孩子和老人再回公司上班。 |
| 修缮 |
xiūshàn |
repair; renovate; |
房子可以修缮，那人的感情呢？ |
| 判断力 |
pànduànlì |
ability to judge; judgment |
只有头脑冷静才能保持清晰的判断力。 |
| 归属 |
guīshŭ |
a place where one feels that one belongs |
对很多人来说，家是归属；可对我来说，信仰是归属。 |
| 本色 |
bĕnsè |
true; inherent quality |
本色的东西一定是天然的吗？英雄的本色是什么？ |
| 蔓延 |
mànyán |
spread; extend |
我家园子里的野草四处蔓延，邻居们都有意见了。 |
| 旷野 |
kuàngyĕ |
open field |
这空阔平坦的旷野很适合养马放牧。 |
| 悠长 |
yōucháng |
long-drawn-out |
自从有了高铁就听不到火车悠长的汽笛声了。 |
| 温馨 |
wēnxīn |
softly fragrant; warm |
杭州给我的感觉是舒适而温馨。 |
| 依恋 |
yīliàn |
be attached to; be reluctant to leave |
小孩子对父母会有强烈的依恋。 |
| 交接 |
jiāojiē |
hand over; take over |
这项工作的交接进行得很顺利。 |
| 闲话 |
xiánhuà |
chat; digression |
上班还是不聊天为好，闲话太多会影响工作的。 |
| 忠告 |
zhōnggào |
sincere advice; counsel |
您临别的忠告我都牢记在心了。 |
| 好为人师 |
hàowéi rénshī |
like to lecture others |
“好为人师” 跟 “助人为乐” 不一样，区别在于动机和目的。 |
| 埋 |
mái |
bury |
她把心里话埋在了心底，永远地留给了自己。 |
| 示人 |
shì rén |
show or reveal to others |
谁的心中没有点儿不愿示人的秘密呢？ |
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. How does this story complicate usual notions of romantic love?
2. Do you empathize with the main character’s emotional struggle?
3. At what point in the story do you realize that Ruyi is resistant to the idea of becoming involved with the man?
4. What do you think of the paean to motherhood in the story? What in the story do you see as expressions of motherhood?
5. Are Ruyi and the man faithful to their respective spouses? How does the story approach the concepts of love and fidelity? How does the yin-yang dynamic work in the story’s handling of the emotional and the ethical?
6. Does Ruyi love him? Should Ruyi love him? Is Ruyi denying herself happiness? Why can’t she say what’s in her heart? Please comment on the possible stances that this story takes toward the four questions.
7. Do you agree with the following observation about An Shiliu’s work?2
When An Shiliu dramatizes intense and delicate emotions, she does not flatten her characters with moral judgment or puncture their flaws with righteousness. Instead, she treats them with respect, as intriguing, self-reflective human beings capable of navigating their own weaknesses and constraints.
1. 这个故事怎样把通常的浪漫爱情复杂化了？
2. 你理解、同情男主人公的情感挣扎吗？
3. 你读到什么地方的时候意识到了如意是不会跟男主人公有任何瓜葛的？
4. 这篇小说盛赞母性，你对此做何感想？小说中的哪些东西在你看来是母性的表达？
5. 男女主人公对他们各自的妻子、丈夫忠不忠？故事是如何探讨爱情和忠贞问题的？阴阳的互动是如何体现在故事对情感与伦理的处理之中的？
6. 如意爱他吗？如意应该爱他吗？如意是在自虐摒弃幸福吗？如意为什么不能把心里的话说出来？请说说本篇小说对上述四个问题所持的立场。
7. 你同意如下对安石榴作品所做的评价吗？
安石榴的小说戏剧化地呈现了强烈细腻的情感。她不用道德判断把人物压扁；也不自诩正义化身去痛揭他人之短。相反，她尊重她这些奇妙的、具有自我反思能力的人物；相信他们能够克服自己的短处，超越自己的局限。
AUTHOR BIO
An Shiliu (1964–) was born in a dragon year, on the day when “the dragon raised its head” (龙抬头), that is, the second day of the second month by the Chinese lunar calendar, when frozen earth and all the lives in it awakened. The youngest of a family of ten in which everybody loved to read, An Shiliu grew up imbued with a respect for literature. The image of her father reading with a pair of glasses on his nose and a magnifying glass in his hand and her mother’s enthusiastic participation motivated her to read everything her family possessed and her elder siblings brought home. The first foreign book of fiction she read was David Copperfield; at the time, it cost her eldest sister most of her monthly pay.
Her real name is Shao Meiying (邵玫英). An Shiliu is the name of the youngest fairy in a story by Feng Menglong (冯梦龙, 1574–1646, a Ming dynasty writer), whose cool personality she loved when she was a little girl. But An Shiliu did not emerge as her pen name until she was forty-four years old. A daughter of a forestry engineer in Hailin, Heilongjiang Province, she went to teach in a vocational school of forestry after her education in a teachers college. She then married, became a mother, and settled into an ordinary life as a civil servant in the city of Mudanjiang. Her first try at writing literature was her participation in the 2008 national short-short competition for rookie writers organized by the Journal of Garden of Flower (百花园), a major publisher of the short-short genre in China, and she emerged as the second-place winner after four rounds.
In the short span of eight years, this rookie has become a recognized authority and a teacher of the genre. Admiring strangers go to visit her to relate the joy of reading her and to learn from her. An Shiliu also shares her thoughts and experiences through correspondence and online discussion forums. She has added five volumes of short-short collections to her 2008 award-winning piece “Mr. Guan” (“关先生”); among them are Big Fish (大鱼), Vegetarian (全素人), and Elegance and Embarrassments (优雅与尴尬). Some of the stories in her collections have been reprinted by such popular journals as Youth Literary Digest (青年文摘) and Readers (读者). For An Shiliu, writing brings her peace of mind on her continuous journey of self-cultivation. She also believes that the short-short genre has endless possibilities.
Among her many fans is Chen Qiao, a student from China majoring in math at Iowa State University. He admired the universal relevance of this story, yet was torn by the protagonist’s struggle. He translated the story with utmost sincerity in the hope of bringing the story’s broad implications of human life and love to people of different cultures.