Most Immoral Woman

In Which We Find That Miss Perkins Shares Morrison’s Missionary Position and, Following Talk of War, Geishas and Small Feet, a Form of Exercise Is Proposed

In Which Morrison and Miss Perkins Arrive at the First Pass Under Heaven

In Which the Sun Comes Up on a New Era in Morrison’s Life, a Scandalous Conversation Ensues and Our Hero Accepts an Invitation to Ride

In Which Miss Perkins Demonstrates That She is Good in the Saddle and It Is Seen How the Meaning of a Parable Depends on Who Is Telling the Story

In Which Morrison Contemplates the Nature of Promises and Romance and Receives Further Confirmation of Granger’s Incompetence

In Which a Sneeze Leads to a Discovery, Kuan Offers an Insight Into the Nature of Mischief, a Dangerous Secret is ‘Revealed and Morrison Thrills as a Storm Penetrates His Inner Sanctum

In Which Morrison Encounters the Bumptious Egan, Whose Excellent Teeth Remind Him of the Sorry State of His Own, and an Assignment from His Editor Proves Just the Ticket

In Which We Are Introduced to Major Menzies and the Sound of a Lady’s Footsteps Rattles Our Hero’s Teacup

In Which Morrison Ponders a Paradox of Female Literacy and We Are Introduced to the Audacious Scheme of Lionel James

In Which Miss Perkins Comforts Our Suffering Hero with a Letter and C.D. Jameson Makes a Terrible Boast

In Which Our Hero Passes a Damned Stupid Day, After Which He Is Both Revived by Beauty and Thwarted by Duty

In Which the Famous War Correspondent Describes a Skirmish with Tofu and Morrison Enlists Himself in the Battle for the Future of Correspondence

In Which Jameson Shows That, Whilst Undeniably Vile, He Is at Least Consistent, and Our Hero Reads a Most Immoral Book

In Which Morrison Is Vastly Relieved by Miss Perkins’s Attentions, and Bonnets Are Discussed and Immediately Forgotten

In Which Morrison Impresses Miss Perkins with the Mark of his Spearhead, Miss Perkins Confesses to Having Engaged in a Certain Amount of Diplomatic Activity and a Question About Love Receives a Most Surprising Answer

In Which We Learn One Difference Between Morrison and the Japanese Army He Supports, and Our Hero Goes Down in a Sea Captain’s Wake

In Which the Practices of Modern Dentistry Are Explicated, with Particular Reference to the Filling of Cavities

In Which Morrison, upon Discovering What He Has in Common with an Almeda Pharmacist, the Son of the Richest Man in the World and a Congressman from Tennessee, Spoils the Linen

In Which Our Hero is T’aken Captive by ‘Yeomen of the Guard’ and the Perfidious C.D. Jameson Makes an Unwelcome Appearance

In Which Morrison Is Reminded to Guard His Yang and His Old Friend Molyneux Offers Some Startling Advice

In Which Morrison Finds Lionel James in the Queen’s House and Resists Duty in the Name of Temptation

In Which Morrison T’ravels to the Charing Cross of the Pacific, Lectures Kuan on the Benefits of Western Imperialism and Receives a Surprise at Journey’s ‘End

In Which Talk of Railways Is Derailed, Our Knight in Burnished Armour Fails to Protect His Most Vital Organ and the Science of Hypnotism Is Elucidated

In Which It Is Seen ‘That, in ‘Times of National Crisis, Even the Wives of Tycoons May Turn Radical, J.O.P. Blunt Cautions Our Hero About the Dangers Posed by Feminism and Mrs Blunt Demonstrates the Superiority of Women’s Intuition

In Which, to Morrison’s Relief, Mrs Ragsdale Refuses to Go Native and Morrison Falls in Love with an Honest Woman

In Which Dr Kellogg’s Injunctions Are Roundly Ignored, Morrison Is Shanghaied, Old Friends Come and Go, and a Word Beginning with the Letter ‘F’ Is Spoken Aloud

In Which Our Hero Loses the Heat but Wins the Race, Has a Revelation About Crockery and Decides to Take a Friend’s Advice

In Which Morrison Mines for Gold and Makes a ‘Bid for Peace, Prosperity, Longevity, Happiness and Health

In Which the Road to Hymen’s Altar Is Seen to Be Paved with Obstacles, a Terrible Truth Is Revealed and Our Hero Is Left with His Mouth Open

In Which We Are Introduced to the Indiscretions of Major F.S. Bedlow and Our Hero Turns for Succour to the Poet Kipling

In Which Lionel James’s Tales of Derring-Do on the High Seas Recall Our Hero to His Proper Position in Life

In Which Ambushes Are Laid, an Abandoned Post Is Bombarded and a Bullet Both Finds and Misses Its Mark

In Which Bedlow Stays, Granger Goes and Our Hero Endures a Veritable Fusillade

In Which Tolstoi Chooses Between War and Peace and Miss Perkins Reveals That She Is Expecting Quite a Lot of Our Hero

In Which Our Hero Hesitates and Is Lost, Following Which He Receives a Most Concerning Summons

In Which Morrison Endures a Most Curious Conversation

In Which We Learn That Miss Perkins Had More Than One Ace Up Her Sleeve and Morrison Confides in the Sea

In Which Bell Tolls for the ‘Haimun’, and Morrison, Quarantined from Miss Perkins, Goes Up and Down Like a Bandalore

In Which a Connection Is Missed, a Terrible Truth Is Revealed, and What Providence Taketh Away It Giveth Again

In Which Morrison Meets a Young Lady in Men’s Clothing and Learns That They Have Interests in Common

In Which Our Hero Considers the Possibility That an Oyster Pirate Has Been Diving in Home Waters and Receives an Urgent Summons

In Which Our Hero Battles with the American Military for Access to the Front

In Which Our Hero Suffers a Most Staggering Interview and Is Afforded More Than Just a Glimpse of Heaven

In Which the Truth of the Old Saw About the Diplomat Meaning No When He Says Yes Is Illustrated In the Person of Sir Claude, and Our Hero, Inspired by Talk of Sieges Past and Present, Decides to Persevere with His Own

In Which Morrison Learns About the Cultivation of Bonsai, No News Is Not Necessarily Good News, and Martin Egan Neglects to Show Off His Excellent Teeth

In Which the Correspondents’ Quest for Access Is Afforded a Definitive Answer

In Which Lionel James Hoists Anchor, Morrison and Miss Franklin Find Themselves Adrift in the Floating World, and We Are Told What Happens in the End to Men’s Love For Women

In Which the Correspondent Corresponds and at Least One Love Story Ends Happily

In Which It Is Seen That Heat Lingers Even as the Earth Cools

In Which Morrison Dreams an Old Dream, Attempts to Account for the Unaccountable and an Illusion Vanishes

In Which, By Way of Afterword, We Note That It Is True That…

In Which the Author Gratefully Acknowledges…

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