Urea the new panacea
* Enjoy some algae entertainment
* Choke the oceans
* Suffocate marine life
* Know where your waste is going
It was some field, flat and featureless as far as the eye could see. Inside the cockpit of the Qantas Boeing 747, the pilot glanced at the co-ordinates. Scratching his head, he double-checked the flight path. The plane was 10,000 metres above the North Pacific, yet the ocean had mutated into land, a muddy-green agricultural prairie.
Later, the pilot would hear that a gigantic mass of plankton and algae had blossomed in the North Pacific. Conceived by some as a desperate method of tackling climate change, it had burgeoned out of control. Despite this, the deliberate growth of algae and phytoplankton, the microscopic plants that form the lowliest rung of the marine food chain, continues to be advanced as a way of preserving the planet. The perceived wisdom is that the algae absorbs carbon dioxide then dies and sinks to the seabed taking with it the gases it has absorbed. Humans can pump extra nutrients into the ocean, to create more algae and thus extract more carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Simple.
Some argue that this technique will starve the seas of oxygen; others warn that the reduction of carbon dioxide is open to question. The International Panel on Climate Change describes ocean fertilization as ‘speculative, unproven and with the risk of unknown side-effects’. And what magnificent side-effects. Studies reveal that these ocean prairies could even exacerbate climate change. Yet another glorious way to f**k the planet. Encourage this large-scale experiment and you will ensure that the oceans are sucked dry of oxygen. From above, they may resemble a lush land of plenty, but the abyss below will resemble a watery graveyard.
Day after day, the algae kept growing until it covered an area the size of England. Panicking, those monitoring the zone ordered a submarine survey. Its findings confirmed their worst fears. Apart from several crabs and marine worms scrabbling about on the ocean floor the sea contained nothing. Where were the fish? The whales? Above, weakened sea birds searched vainly for food that no longer existed. The 2006 dead zone off the coast of California lasted for nearly seventeen weeks, longer than scientists had ever predicted. Their quest for an explanation led them to the west-coast current, which had carried an up-swell of waters unusually rich in nutrients. Phytoplankton levels had boomed accordingly. The aquamarine sea mutated into a stodgy green-brown soup. The algae then died. Oxygen levels plummeted to almost zero.
When news of this dead zone first reached Europe, it was hailed by the writers of Armageddon handbooks as a fabulous breakthrough for those plotting the Anthropocene, the destructive era of man. In the months that followed scientists started to plan a series of large-scale trials. Small doses of iron were found to encourage the algae. But this compound already existed in 80 per cent of the ocean and, sadly, adding fresh quantities in fertilizer form would not give a sufficiently damaging return. Another method was needed.
The latest proposal relies on pumping urea into the sea. Millions of gallons of this foul-smelling by-product are excreted every day by the human race. By practically pissing into the ocean you can really screw things up for Mother Nature. Urea has been coveted by farmers for decades as a nutrient-rich fertilizer that makes crops grow. When dumped into the ocean, it has pretty much the same effect, turning oceans into thick, choking blankets and compromising any hope marine life ever had of breathing.
The evocatively titled Ocean Nourishment Corporation of Sydney is proposing to dump 500 tonnes of industrially produced urea into the sea between the Philippines and Borneo in order to grow algae, with the promise of absorbing carbon dioxide. There is a lot to learn from this bunch. Their chief executive, Ian Jones, has been quoted as saying that, in the same way that humanity has cultivated land, their plans are ‘like practising agriculture at sea’. The ONC’s plans were unveiled during a UN treaty meeting in London just over a year after the dead zone off California came to attention. The meeting fundamentally approved the plan, although a spokesman for the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs later confirmed that such schemes were ‘potentially high risk’. Less than a month later, the London Convention urged countries to use extreme caution when examining plans for large-scale fertilization operations. But it did not say no.
Your next stop is Planktos, a company based in San Francisco, just a short hop from the dead zone of 2006. Planktos wants to dump thousands of tonnes of iron in the Pacific off the Galapagos Islands. A delightful proposition you’ll agree. The very site where Charles Darwin made key discoveries about natural selection might actually become encircled by a mushy, lifeless, man-made soup. Tests show that Planktos is on to something. Half a tonne of iron has already been added to a planktonless area of the Pacific just off the islands where the theory of evolution was developed. Algae bloomed. The sea turned green.
Back in Sydney is ocean engineer Professor Ian Jones who loves urea and believes it can save the world. Ask him to discuss his project to build great pipelines into the oceans through which urea would be pumped to create massive algae blooms. Convince him that a marvel of engineering is required; scores of huge pipelines running into every ocean are the only way his solution will be taken seriously. Offer large-scale financial backing if he will exploit the access and credibility that accompany his academic eminence. Do not, under any circumstance, divulge that you hope it all goes disastrously wrong and backfires. Equally, do not mention that you are developing a system which overrides any attempt to switch the pipes off. Once the urea is flowing, you must ensure it continues to flow until the oceans can no longer breathe. Convince Jones that, to maximize returns, he should target areas where there is already a heavy density of phytoplankton. Tests reveal that even just a modest increase on existing levels can offer an excellent return.
If Jones proves none too conciliatory, then exploit the thousands of sewage outflow pipes around the world that still pump waste directly into the open sea. London-based suppliers sell bags of urea crystals at £150 a tonne, sourced from China, India and Indonesia and with a minimum nitrogen content of 46 per cent. If things get desperate, dump granules directly down toilets then stand back and watch the waters bloom. Sewage leaks are also helpful, capable of releasing millions of tonnes of urea.
Re-mortgage your house (the property ladder won’t take you anywhere anyway, since you’re busy pissing on the future) and spend £150,000 on over 1,000 tonnes of urea crystals. Previous tests reveal that a tonne of urea will affect a few hundred square metres of ocean. The pile in your garden is large enough to choke an area almost the size of Italy. Of course, everyone can do their bit. Douse gardens liberally with nitrogen-rich fertilizers, wait for the rains and hope the run-off will liberate growth-inducing compounds into nearby rivers and, ultimately, the ocean. The amount of nitrogen contained within fertilizer is stated on the packaging. Aim high. Be inspired. Look at the correlation between increased use of nitrogen-rich fertilizers and the steady, sublime growth in the number of dead zones. The United Nations records a doubling of zones every decade since the 1960s. Around 200 have now been identified, compared with 150 just two years ago. UN officials are not impressed. Algae blooms, they warn, are likely to become the principal destructive factor for the ocean, replacing over-fishing.
The Gulf of Mexico annual dead zone some years covers more than 7,000 square miles and is mainly caused by an impressive 1.7 million tonnes of nitrogen fertilizer dispensed into the Mississippi river. The biggest, though, is in the Baltic, where sewage and nitrogen fallout from the burning of coal and gas combine delectably to over-enrich the sea. Dead zones frequently cluster around the coasts of Europe, South America and Asia. Satellite images have caught phytoplankton blooms drifting along the west coast of Ireland which are bigger than the island itself.
We return full circle to the science. For such ocean nourishment to be effective in tackling climate change, substantial amounts of carbon dioxide must fall to the ocean floor and be incorporated in deep water sediments. Yet – and here is the vignette supreme – experiments to date show that the actual amount that reaches the ocean bed is tiny. Other studies found that these artificially induced blooms could increase the production of nitrous oxide and methane, gases which are much more effective at trapping heat than our loyal, omnipresent pal carbon dioxide. Phytoplankton itself might have the added spin-off of heating the seas by absorbing heat from the sun that would otherwise be bounced back into space. If you require more reasons why urea is the new panacea, then now is the time to accept that you lack what it takes to join the team. Put the book down, nip to the lavatory. Aim carefully and dispose of urea in a suitably decadent fashion.
* Number of dead zones hits 250 in late 2011. Entire Gulf of Mexico – an area five times the size of Italy – is declared lifeless. Very probable.
* UN pushes for ban on sales of nutrient-rich fertilizers. Agricultural lobby reacts furiously. Farmers prevail. Likely.
* Ocean-nourishment testing off the Galapagos reported to be ‘extremely successful’. Permission granted for industrial tests in South China Sea. Expected.
* Huge sewage leak reported in Brazil. Soon after, world’s largest dead zone is spotted floating off South American continent. Foreseeable.
* Large-scale ocean-fertilization plans to combat climate change are abandoned in 2015 after court case proves that they damage marine life. Number of dead zones breaks 400 barrier. Conceivable.
Likelihood of large-scale urea projects being commissioned to fight climate change: 67%