CHANGE #9

Stop, Sit, and Disengage for at Least Five Minutes a Day

SIMPLY PUT… At some point each day:

1. Step away from whatever it is you’re doing.

2. Find a nice quiet place where no one can bother you.

3. Sit, close your eyes, and think about nothing for at least five minutes.

Five minutes.

That’s it.

If you consider that you’re awake on average about fifteen hours a day, that’s nine hundred minutes. Surely you can find five of those to call your very own. I’ll admit, it can be hard in the beginning if you’re used to running around all day. The first time I tried it, I put every ounce of effort I had into finding my inner calm. When I literally couldn’t sit still any longer, I called it a session and fully expected to have reached somewhere near five minutes.

It was thirty-nine seconds.

It’s no secret that I speak fast and I move fast, and if I’m not careful, I react fast. But if I don’t pause for five minutes and just take it all in, whether it’s just to look out the window or close my eyes and let myself mindlessly drift off to somewhere else, it gets to be too much. It’s because you never realize how fast you’re going until you stop for a second, just like you can’t comprehend how loud your life is until you take the time to quiet it down.

Five minutes—that’s really all I need. It’s my very own self-imposed time-out. It sort of brings it all back so I can start from scratch and begin moving again.

Even if you’re not the kind of person that goes from zero to one hundred, you need to acknowledge how incredibly busy you get between your ears. You have to try to settle the soul down a little bit. It’s a small break that sheds stress and gives back so much, yet surprisingly few people bother to try it.

When you let yourself stay stressed, your body takes it out on you in countless ways. Headaches, bad skin, digestion problems, and insomnia are at one end of that spectrum, while heart issues, premature aging, a lower sex drive, and chronic back pain sit on the other.

Stress also causes your adrenal glands to release cortisol, which not only raises things you don’t want breaking records (like your blood pressure and blood sugar), it also makes your fat cells bigger and even causes your body to store more body fat.

The 10,000 steps you’re already putting in each day, plus the strength training you started with Change #5, will go a long way toward reducing stress. But just stepping back and out for five minutes—especially during those moments when your brain and body need it most—will be your greatest ally when it comes to eliminating stress on the spot.

My Five-Minute Formula

Disengaging for five minutes doesn’t mean turning on the TV, sitting down to go through your e-mails, or checking your Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts.

Disengaging is disengaging.

It’s all about doing absolutely nothing but quieting your mind, relaxing your muscles, and just sitting in a state of nothingness for five whole minutes. It’s time spent being alone with yourself and, to be honest, it’s probably the only time aside from being asleep that you ever get to do that over the entire course of the day.

But for something so seemingly effortless and quick, stopping and doing absolutely nothing can be extremely difficult for most people. Here are the basics to help pull it off:

1. Plop down somewhere quiet, preferably a place where nothing else is going on. No one should be able to talk to you, and nothing should be around that could stimulate you. That means no computer or tablet, no TV, no music in the background, no phone that may vibrate, not a single person that could bother you—nothing!

2. Set a timer for six minutes. Why six? Because I want you to disengage for a full five minutes and I don’t want you to waste any of that valuable time getting yourself into the zone you need to be in. Also, if you’re like me, the first few times you do this, you’ll spend that whole last minute looking at the timer to see if you set it right, because it’ll seem way longer than five minutes. Yes, I realize that defeats the entire purpose. Just know that eventually this Change caught on with me and I now do this every single day.

3. Sit comfortably with your hands on your lap (or whatever feels natural to you), close your eyes, and just let your body relax. Imagine melting into your chair like a candle.

4. Concentrate on breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth as slowly and evenly as possible. Be aware of your breathing, making each breath not too deep and not too shallow, but don’t count how many seconds it takes you to fill your lungs and release—that’s work!

5. Clear your mind of everything and don’t worry if you’re doing it right. The more you practice, the more relaxed you’ll be the next time.

DON’T STOP THERE…

Feel like going beyond five minutes, or putting your life on pause more often than just once a day? If you have the time, do it.

The same goes for allowing yourself a nap when you need one and getting an extra hour of sleep each night. Between two little kids and a crazy job, I’m definitely guilty of not getting enough sleep, so I’m the last person to tell you to sleep more. That’s why I didn’t make it one of my thirty Changes. If it’s something I can’t manage every day myself, I’d be a hypocrite to make you do it.

But here’s the deal: When I can sneak in an afternoon nap, I do. A quick nap not only helps remove stress, but it can help reduce fatigue and improve your alertness and memory.

A lack of sleep can affect a running list of functions in your body. Need a list? Here’s a short one: Being sleep-deprived impairs your memory and logical reasoning, increases your risk of developing a chronic health condition, slows down your metabolism, and boosts the stress hormone cortisol, so you burn fewer calories and store many more.

So how much sleep is enough? Although researchers haven’t pinpointed the exact amount, if you’re between the ages of twenty-six and sixty-four, it’s recommended that you snooze from seven to nine hours a day—give or take. So give it a try—seriously, don’t let me stop you.

Tips and Tricks

Whether you’re looking to tune out for five minutes, take a nap for twenty, or tweak your typical eight-hour nocturnal stretch, these cues can help you make the most out of every second you snooze.

Take your pulse to tune out. Looking for another way to lose yourself beyond your breathing? Try placing your hands on your lap and lightly press your fingers on your wrist so you can feel your pulse. Don’t count beats—just let yourself be aware of your heartbeat as you relax.

Travel somewhere nice in your mind. Keeping your eyes closed, use your imagination and try to create the most relaxing place possible. As you do, don’t just see it but try to imagine how the environment feels, sounds, and smells, whether it’s a crisp breeze coming down off the mountaintop or the salty air wafting from the surf.

Stare at the center. Even with your eyes closed, sometimes your eyeballs can feel restless. If that’s the case, focus on the spot that’s right between your eyes. Giving them something to aim at should put them at ease.

Don’t fight stray thoughts—send them sailing instead. Shutting out every thought is impossible, but when anything floats into your head, don’t try to ignore it. Instead, try picturing that thought as a balloon or a sailboat, then watch it drift out of range in your mind.

Need a Nap?

Make the temperature just right. You don’t want a spot that’s either too warm or too cold. Choosing a dark, comfortable place that falls right in between, temperature-wise, will make you likely to nod much faster and get more from your nap.

Know the limits. Even though everyone is different, most experts agree that keeping a nap between ten and thirty minutes is best. Any longer and you risk falling into a deeper sleep that could cause grogginess and could affect how well you sleep at night.

Stick with naps in the afternoon. The best time for a nap is midafternoon between one and three p.m. The reason? That’s when your body usually experiences a natural dip in temperature, which is why some people experience post-lunch sleepiness or a lower level of alertness.

Ready to Reap More from Your Sleep?

Access your zzz needs. You don’t need some high-tech life tracker to know if you’re not getting enough sleep. Just listen to your body’s warning signs. Yawning constantly, having difficulty concentrating or remembering facts, and/or being unexpectedly irritable can all be symptoms of needing more shut-eye.

Stick to the same slumber schedule. Always try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Sleeping in on the weekend or on days off may feel deliciously decadent, but it can sometimes disrupt your sleep cycle when you’re back on the clock.

Invest in your rest. Look around your bedroom to see if there’s anything you could upgrade or change to improve how you spend your nights. From new blinds that let in less light to new sheets that may be more comfy, the changes you make could influence how often your sleep gets disrupted and how long you stay in a deeper, more productive doze.

Dial things back before packing it in. Unwind your mind an hour before bedtime by avoiding things that are too stimulating, such as work, a challenging book, an intense phone conversation, or anything that requires a great deal of focus or energy. And while I’m often guilty of this, try to avoid electronics with screens. (Their glow can sometimes suppress the sleep hormone melatonin.)

Sleep only when sleepy. If you find yourself still awake after trying to sleep for twenty minutes, don’t fight it. Instead, get up, keep the lights either off or dimmed, and do something boring until you feel sleepy. Just don’t turn on your TV, computer, tablet, or smart phone. Exposure to bright light may signal your brain to stay awake. But since you’ll probably do it anyway, try not to do any work on those devices. That’ll really tax the brain and affect your ability to fall back asleep.

Watch what you eat, drink, or pop in your mouth. Avoiding caffeinated drinks like coffee, tea, and soda for at least six hours before bedtime is a no-brainer. But other things, including chocolate, nicotine, and certain pain relievers (such as Excedrin or Midol) also contain caffeine and should be avoided when possible before bedtime.

Exercise with caution. For some people, exercising or doing some physical activity close to bedtime works great to knock them out. But for others, elevating the heart rate prior to sleep may leave them more alert, which could make falling asleep more of a chore.

Avoid alcohol if you want a sounder sleep. Alcohol may make you feel tired, but it also affects REM sleep—the restorative type of sleep that happens about ninety minutes after you’re out. Drinking too much can make whatever REM you are getting much less effective.

Taper off your sips. If you find yourself waking up at least once a night to use the bathroom, watch how much water you’re drinking an hour or two before bedtime. Even if each trip takes only a few minutes, you could end up disrupting the time your body stays in deeper, more restorative sleep.

The “So You Know” Science

Taking five-minute breaks—whether you work as a desk jockey, perform heavy labor, or fall anywhere in between—has multiple benefits beyond helping you unwind, from increasing your concentration, alertness, and work speed to reducing your risk of soreness, musculoskeletal disorders, eyestrain, and even on-the-job accidents. Short breaks have even been linked to having a smaller waistline, lower body mass index (BMI), and lower triglyceride levels, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.1