CHAPTER 8
REESE AND DAD ALMOST MISS THE WHOLE THING
REESE
After I got my pants on, Dad was still on his work call. So I sat down to play some MetaWorld and then just kind of spaced on the time until Wyatt texted me and was like, “WHERE ARE YOU?”
And I realized it was, like, five minutes to ten.
So I went into panic mode. And I got Dad off his call—which was TOTALLY stressing him out—and we, like, ska-jammed Ed. Note: N.A.A.W. downstairs and into a cab.
In the cab, Dad checked a work email on his phone and then made this “muuuugh” noise, like somebody slugged him in the gut.
Then he looked at me and went, “Let me ask you something, kiddo…” in that really quiet voice he uses when, like, your goldfish just died and he has to flush it down the toilet.
So I knew what was coming couldn’t be good.
And Dad was like, “How badly do you need a chaperone?”
And I was like, “Dad—you TOTALLY can’t bail on us.”
Then the cab got stuck in traffic and we had to jump out and start running.
MOM AND DAD (text messages)
(MOM) Have you left yet? 10 min till start
5 min till start
Please tell me you are en route and
not still on phone
3 min till start
WHERE ARE YOU???
IT’S STARTING NOW
(DAD) rubbing
WHAT?!
running
HURRY!
CLAUDIA
Mrs. Bevan gave an intro speech thanking everybody for coming, and reminding us this was for charity, and we were all winners just for showing up to support the Manhattan Food Bank, so we shouldn’t get too competitive.
Which everybody ignored, because the whole auditorium was thinking, “FRONT-ROW SEATS AT THE GARDEN! I’LL STEP OVER DEAD BODIES TO WIN THIS!”
Then she went over the rules. For the historical record—and because certain rules turned out to be VERY important—here’s what the rule sheet looked like:
CLAUDIA
After she went over the rules, Mrs. Bevan asked if there were any questions.
Figuring we were finally getting started, the whole auditorium got halfway out of their seats—but then Dimitri Sharansky’s mom raised her hand and asked if all the items on the list were nut-free.
Which took forever for Mrs. Bevan to answer, because she had to google some things on her phone. And everybody got really annoyed at Dimitri’s mom. Especially Dimitri (even though his nut allergy is actually very serious).
At some point in the middle of that, Reese and Dad showed up.
REESE
It was seriously confusing. We ran in, all out of breath and sweaty—and the whole auditorium was, like, watching Mrs. Bevan stare at her phone.
CLAUDIA
Finally, Mrs. Bevan said, “Yes! Everything’s nut-free. Any other questions…? No? Then LET THE HUNT BEGIN!”
There was a ripping noise as everybody opened their envelopes, and we all got our first look at the list:
AKASH
Even without the Brooklyn Bridge thing, that list was a masterpiece.
CLAUDIA
Except for that one giant mistake that wound up having terrible consequences for everybody.
AKASH
It’s not my fault people can’t take a joke.
CLAUDIA
There were a few seconds of quiet while people scanned the list. Then there was a mad rush for the exit.
We hit the sidewalk, and the first thing I saw was Meredith Timms getting into one of the car service cars as a driver in a suit held her door open.
Then Ling Chen, getting into the second car…
Followed by Clarissa Parker, disappearing into the third one…
And finally Athena Cohen and her mom, headed for the last one.
All four Fembots. In four different cars.
CARMEN
I practically had a heart attack.
PARVATI
I think I might have, like, screamed or something.
CLAUDIA
It was more of a yelp. But yeah. You did.
Which was totally understandable. Because the hunt was only two minutes old—and already, the Fembots were crushing us.