CHAPTER 21 NIGHTMARE ON GROVE STREET

CLAUDIA

I knew it was Athena and her mom as soon as I saw their stupid chauffeur-driven Town Car turn the corner at the end of the block.

It stopped right in front of Zoso, and there was such a huge crowd that when their driver opened the door for Athena and her mom, it looked like they were making a grand entrance at a movie premiere.

The enormous bouncer guy was outside by now, guarding the front door. And the skinny hosts were sort of cowering behind him. I think because the size of the crowd was freaking them out.

Athena and her mom headed straight for the door, and for a second I got all excited, because I figured they were going to get turned away like the rest of us, and it would be totally humiliating.

So what happened next was a huge and terrible shock.

JENS

I think maybe Athena’s mom eats at Zoso a lot. Because host guy made a big smile and said, “SO GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”

Then the giant man opens the door so they can go inside.

When he did that, the whole crowd made the noise—how do you say it? “Gapped”? ^{Ed. Note: Jens’s English = not perfect (but adorable)}

CLAUDIA

“Gasped.” Everybody gasped.

JENS

Yes. And then Athena made a wave. And everybody was angry.

CLAUDIA

Right before she disappeared inside, Athena turned and waved to all of us.

It was basically Athena’s way of saying, “HA-HA-HA, MY PARENTS ARE SO RICH AND HOOKED UP THAT WE CAN GET A TABLE AT ZOSO WHILE THE REST OF YOU WAIT OUTSIDE LIKE PEASANTS.”

It was the most evil, smug wave I have ever seen in my life.

Everybody else thought so, too.

JOSH KOPPELMAN, Gingivitis team member

I was RIPPED when she did that. What’s that girl’s name? Athena? Total brat.

NATASHA MINELLO, The Wut Ups team member

I pretty much wanted to strangle her.

LUKE SCHWARTZ, Team Awesome

If I had to describe my feelings at that moment in, like, two words? They would be “blind rage.”

CLAUDIA

But as mad as everybody was, it’s VERY important to understand this: no matter what the stupid New York Star said, we did NOT actually start a riot.

The absolutely closest we ever came was maybe halfway to a riot. That was right after Athena did her little wave, and this angry rumble went through the crowd. And people kinda/sorta surged toward the door.

But then the bouncer put his hands up and went, “YO! BACK THE CUSS UP!” ^{Ed. Note: NOTE: not the actual word he used}

And when he said that, we all backed the cuss up. Because he was very large, and we respected his authority.

All things considered, the whole crowd was actually very well behaved.

So there was no reason for the police to even show up. Let alone six of them.

AKASH

You are seriously lucky Mrs. Bevan didn’t find out about the cops showing up until that reporter called her, like, four hours later.

CLAUDIA

Do NOT even get me started about that reporter. Almost everything in his article was a huge lie. I am not even going to reprint the whole thing, because it was so ridiculous. But for the record, here’s the top part:

Not. True. At. All. Except for what Toby said about people at Culvert being super-competitive.

AKASH

Are you SURE none of it was true? Like, nobody set fire to a garbage can?

CLAUDIA

No! I think one of the paparazzi threw away a match, and it set fire to a napkin or something. But that was it.

AKASH

Nobody pulled a guy out of his car?

CLAUDIA

No! That guy got out voluntarily to yell at everybody for blocking the street.

And he was kind of a jerk about it, so a couple of the eighth grade boys got a little lippy with him.

But then he just called them punks and drove off.

AKASH

And they weren’t chanting “We want assassination!”?

CLAUDIA

Of course not! It was “We want A RESERVATION!”

AKASH

How about “Kill someone!”? I heard people were going, “What do we want? To kill someone!”

CLAUDIA

That is ridiculous. They were going, “What do we want? A KALE SALAD! When do we want it? Now!”

Because supposedly the kale salad is Zoso’s signature dish. And I guess the Gingivitis guys thought they were being hilarious by chanting that.

AKASH

So if it was never an actual riot, why did the cops show up?

CLAUDIA

I seriously do not know. Except I think the skinny guy in the turtleneck must have called them.

And anyway, by the time the cops got there, it was basically over. Because the skinny guy had come out and yelled, “DEONDRA HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! SHE WENT OUT THE BACK DOOR.”

At first, nobody believed him. But then we realized the paparazzi were all gone, so he must’ve been telling the truth.

Plus, by then Athena had posted her totally obnoxious message on the ClickChat wall. Which was basically the final nail in the coffin.

CLICKCHAT POSTS ON “CULVERT PREP SCAVENGER HUNT” WALL

CLAUDIA

Jens and I were walking away when Parvati, Carmen, and my mom showed up.

CARMEN

I have never seen you that sad in your entire life. It was even worse than that time you sprained your ankle in gym class. ^{Ed. Note: volleyball = more dangerous than it looks}

CLAUDIA

It actually hurt worse than when I sprained my ankle.

It was a different kind of hurt. But it was definitely worse.

PARVATI

I still can’t believe I missed it. Like, I know nobody except Athena actually SAW Deondra. But it still would’ve been an honor just to be on the same block as my idol.

CLAUDIA

By this point, it was almost 3:00. And since we knew evil had triumphed, there didn’t seem to be any point in killing ourselves to get a few more items before the hunt ended at 4:00.

So we ate an incredibly depressing lunch at a 99-cent pizza place (4 points. Yay.), ^{Ed. Note: sarcastic “Yay”} then took the subway back uptown.

BTW, you get what you pay for with 99-cent pizza. The reason it’s so cheap is because it has about 10 cents’ worth of cheese and 5 cents’ worth of tomato sauce. Which is not actually enough to cover the whole slice. So it’s really like eating pizza-flavored crust.

JENS

Please say thank you again to your mother for buying the lunch.

CLAUDIA

It was only $3.96 for all four of us. ^{Ed. Note: (no bevs)} But okay.