For years, my husband, Adam, and I wanted to have a child. We followed advice from family, friends, and even a few armchair experts in hope of having a baby. Besides synchronizing our lovemaking to the days I ovulated and an occasional romantic getaway, we changed our diet and got our mind and body in shape, and still nothing. At thirty-eight, we knew that if we wanted to be parents we had to act fast.
After researching fertility programs on the Internet, we made a joint decision to seek treatment. Once we committed to in vitro fertilization (IVF), we realized we knew nothing about it. We searched for books that might guide us through the process but came up with zilch. The fertility books on the market were dry, clinical, or focused on getting pregnant only through natural solutions. None provided what we needed most: an easy-to-read, up-to-date, upbeat account of what fertility treatment is like from couples who have been there.
Our initial meeting with Dr. Daniel Potter put us at ease. Besides having strong ties to Texas, like myself, he and his wife have two daughters as the result of IVF. One month into our treatment and pregnant with twins, I approached him with the idea of writing this book. I explained what the market is missing: a book written in a conversational voice from the patient’s perspective, describing what to expect during fertility treatments. We agreed that besides being medically accurate, the book needed to inform readers on current and emerging treatments and technologies. We left the meeting with one goal in mind: to write the kind of book we would have liked to have read before our own fertility treatments.
Together, we have organized What to Do When You Can’t Get Pregnant to take you step-by-step through the process. Between these covers, you’ll discover insights into every facet of fertility. Our challenge was to break through the medical jargon and describe in everyday terms why you’re not getting pregnant and what you can do about it. We believe we have done this.
From the start, we wanted to personalize this book. We know that both men and women will read this book, but we realize the majority of our audience is women. So we’ve geared our language toward women, speaking directly to them. But men, read on. There is plenty of important information for you as well.
We know that some of our readers will be in same-sex relationships or may not have a partner at all. While we may talk about your partner as being male, our book holds value for folks in every situation.
Obviously, some of your doctors will be female and some will be male. While we did our best to alternate between genders, there may be times that we refer to your doctor as one gender when your doctor is really the other.
Chapter 1 opens by explaining the fertility process and why getting pregnant is often difficult. Subsequent chapters discuss what happens in a fertility evaluation and describe what conditions your doctor may find that keep you or your partner from conceiving.
There are a number of treatments at your disposal and we discuss your options. But just as important as your treatment is living a fertile lifestyle. We discuss countless ways that you can boost your fertility and have included a twelve-week plan to boost your chances even more. And since infertility treatment can often cause additional stress in couples’ lives, we have dedicated a chapter to preserving and fine-tuning your relationship. While assisted reproductive technologies work for thousands of couples each year, there are always instances where nothing works. In situations like this, we discuss alternative parenting options and when you need to consider moving on.
Because you’ll want to do everything in your power to prevent your unborn baby from hereditary illnesses, we discuss prescreening your child for genetic diseases. Now that technology is available to choose your child’s gender, we discuss how parents who already have one child can prescreen for a child of the opposite sex. Discussing new technologies such as prescreening for genetic diseases and gender selection opens the door to other controversial issues, including designer babies and those that remain outside of reproductive medicine such as cloning.
We explain how extreme procedures like ovarian tissue transplant and cytoplasmic transfer may one day become routine procedures to help women conceive and address why cloning won’t be one of them. Our book closes with what you can expect in reproductive medicine over the next few decades (and what may never come to pass), including emerging technologies, ever-changing insurance laws, and the movement toward government regulation.
Finally, our introduction wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the couples whose lives we interwove into our book. Besides graciously agreeing to tell their personal stories, each one of them shares the same goals we do: saving you time, money, and energy. Because we’ve all been there before, we want to ensure your fertility experience is as comfortable and pleasant as possible. Whatever path you choose, we hope this book makes your trip worthwhile.
—Jennifer S. Hanin, M.A.