Lesson 20: Beliefs – Hidden Powers
While writing this chapter, I realized that in every single book I’ve written so far, there has been a section or chapter on beliefs. However, that’s not very surprising because beliefs are one of the most powerful forces in our lives. They guide us, inspire us, make us do extraordinary things or keep us stuck; we fight for them and some die for them.
The biggest problem with beliefs is that most of the time we don’t even notice their presence. This is because when we have a belief about something we actually think we are dealing with facts, true explanations of how the world works, rather than just a set of opinions that we have somehow chosen to buy into.
The beliefs we’ve ended up with are the result of a long process of consideration, as they are our attempt to get the best possible understanding we can of the world. If we have come to an opinion about how the world works, it’s because we’ve examined the evidence over time, sought out others’ opinions, and come to a logical conclusion, based on the evidence we’ve found.
Yet, history is littered with well-known examples of beliefs held with absolute certainty by the majority of the population and the most prestigious academics of the time – and still these well-held beliefs came tumbling down, when new evidence finally overturned them. And I say finally because very often a well-established belief will continue to keep its grip on being the ‘only version of truth’, even when there is a wealth of information that says it’s outdated. It often takes a very long time for old established beliefs to change.
A classic example is the Ptolemaic, and Christian, view that the universe rotated around the Earth. It sounds crazy now, but when Galileo discovered evidence that the sun was the centre of the solar system, and our Earth was not, it is said that he was threatened with excommunication and death for preaching heresy. So, what can we learn from this?
Use this exercise to see how successful you are at distinguishing between opinions or beliefs and facts. For this exercise, consider a ‘fact’ to be something that can be documented in some way and ‘beliefs or opinions’ to be something that some people think is true, but not everyone agrees with.
The answers
How did you do? Five out of five?
I’m guessing (I have a belief about it) that most people will trip up on one or more of these questions, and that’s pretty common. We don’t seem to be great at being able to distinguish ‘opinions or beliefs’ from facts.
And this is very important, as your beliefs serve as your current blueprint or set of rules about who you are, what you are capable of and how the world works.
If you can’t distinguish your opinions from the actual facts about how you, or the world is, then you risk getting suckered into thinking you have a good and complete understanding of things, which may be completely wrong.
Clearly, our beliefs have a massive influence on our levels of success, fulfilment and happiness. Luckily, there are only three main things we need to do with them to move our life on:
» Destructive, limiting and negative;
» Or useful and move us towards a life we love.
Some time ago, I decided to believe that everything is simple and easy. Do you share that belief or think that some things are easy and others more difficult?
Just to be clear, my belief is not actually a true or accurate version of the way the world really is; it is just a belief that I choose to believe.
Why do I do that?
It makes me happier and more successfully productive, and the world more interesting. It’s definitely changed the lives of thousands, as it was core to my approach to finding solutions to illnesses that were medically considered to be ‘impossible to recover from’. So I believe it’s just fundamentally much more useful to think that way.
Let’s take the example of nuclear physics – the study of the component parts of atoms. Is that a simple or difficult subject to grasp?
Many people would argue it is a difficult subject. However, as I believe everything is simple and easy, why should nuclear physics be any different?
Imagine if I found an amazing teacher, who was an expert in the field, who could entertain and engage me while teaching me everything there was to learn about the subject; making it fun by throwing pies to demonstrate how electrons move within the atom, and enjoying the discussions and debates within the field. As I believe there is no ‘magic’, no unteachable secrets, along the way, eventually if I kept on that course, being open and available to the teaching, I would learn everything my expert teacher knew about nuclear physics. At that point nuclear physics would be simple for me. So is nuclear physics a simple or difficult subject to grasp?
The answer is that it’s neither; the difficulty or simplicity comes from a combination of you and your teacher’s attitudes, beliefs and behaviours, not from the subject itself.
Once again, it’s mainly all down to our beliefs. If we think it’s hard, it will be; if we think it’s very easy, so it will be and our behaviours will follow from that.
If we think that something is going to be hard, then either we won’t start it or become disheartened when we come across the first obstacle, and give up, as we knew there would be an impossibility along the road.
If, instead, we start by thinking it’s going to be simple, when we meet the first obstacle, we take it on as an intriguing challenge; and start to work out a way round it, knowing there has to be a way around because learning this is simple.
The question to ask is not, ‘Is it hard or easy?’ But, ‘Which belief is more useful for learning?’
To answer this question, let’s look at how to spot beliefs and how to change the ones that don’t fit the Golden Rule.
There are a number of ways to notice the presence of beliefs; the simplest is by becoming much more aware of your language.
Watch out for any statement beginning with the following:
which then goes on to express an idea of ‘this way’.
These kinds of statements usually express beliefs about the way you think the world is.
Any statement about ‘what is likely to happen’ is fundamentally a belief, because as the future event hasn’t happened yet we can’t possibly know what is going to happen. We only have predictions based on what happened last time. You’ll spot this in statements beginning with:
In certain mechanical areas of science it is reasonable to make predictions based on what was observed to happen in the past. For example, if we kick a ball, we know that if we repeat our kick, accurately, keeping the same speed and angle, we can predict where the ball will end up.
There are such few variables in this ‘simple’ system that it’s reasonable to apply this kind of thinking to this situation.
If, however, we replace the ball with a gorilla, the outcome is much less predictable. This is because now we are dealing with a much more complex system, where the gorilla has a number of potential responses to being kicked.
Can’t
A special, and especially common, example of predictions is ‘can’t’. Any statement that includes the idea of:
This is, again, making a prediction about the future and, specifically, saying it’s just not possible. An example would be to say, ‘I can’t be confident in interviews.’
This is a prediction that ‘something is just not possible’, which is neither useful nor life-enhancing. If you continue to buy into ‘I can’t’, it will continue to be true; however, if you choose to let go of it then it gives you the chance to make changes to your behaviour. Without letting go of that belief first there’s no possibility of change, as why would you bother putting any energy into trying to change something that you know is impossible?
It’s worth pointing out that not all beliefs about what’s possible are bad. We can see this by applying the Golden Rule – ‘Is it useful and does it enhance your life?’ For example, ‘I can’t jump off this roof and fly’ is a good example of a life-enhancing and useful belief.
It’s not a question of changing all beliefs, just changing the ones that are not useful and don’t enhance your life.
Another great way to spot the presence of beliefs is to notice generalizations. In other words, where we say the world, or some of its components, is all a particular way. Examples are:
They can be spotted by the presence of the words listed earlier in the chapter on ELFs (Excellences of Limited Function; see Upside-Down Genius):
Often the word will be ‘silent’ in such statements as:
So, listen out for any sweeping statements inferring that this is ALWAYS true in ALL cases.
The following words will usually show up the presence of a belief, usually concerning a sense of guilt, attempting to keep someone else happy or to comply with another person’s rules:
Examples are:
Write down your answer to the following question.
In my books The Introduction to the Lightning Process and Dû – Unlock Your Full Potential With A Word, there are large sections on the power of beliefs over our health. I’ll just share two very brief but fascinating stories here that emphasize how incredibly powerful beliefs are.
In a blind controlled drugs trial10, comparing the effects of chemotherapy to taking a dummy pill (a placebo), in which neither group knew if they were taking the real pill or the placebo, a stunning finding was uncovered.
The group who were taking the real chemotherapy lost, as would be expected, most of their body hair. However, in the group taking the dummy pill, 30 per cent of them also lost all their body hair – the hair on their head, their eyebrows and eyelashes.
What was responsible for them losing their hair, when the pill they were taking contained no active substances whatsoever?
It was their beliefs.
Another researcher, D.P. Phillips, at the University of California, studied Chinese families who had moved to the USA. It was recognized that some families kept with their traditions, while others became completely westernized.
The more traditional families saw the importance of the traditional Chinese system of understanding the world (e.g. the power of the five elements of fire, earth, metal, water and wood) on their health. According to this traditional Chinese medicine, if a person is born in a ‘metal’ year, defined by their astrological chart, they would be more likely to have lung problems in later life.
When death rates in Chinese families in the USA were analysed, it was found that if a person was born in the year of ‘metal’ and had become westernized they had no more chance than any other US citizen of dying of lung-related illness. But, amazingly, if they were born in a ‘metal’ year and raised in a ‘traditional’ Chinese family they would have an increased chance of dying of lung-related illness.
Again, what caused this effect?
The hidden power of beliefs.
So, you can see that, once you’ve distinguished any limiting beliefs, it’s vital to change them as, if they can do this, they can be very effective at preventing the change you want from happening in any part of your life.
The first step in changing beliefs is to realize that you were not born with them. You generated and built them – often with help from outside experts, especially your parents, teachers and peers – and, as time went on, you modified them.
There is an interesting question I often ask about beliefs which is:
People will vary in their answers to this question. Some say they are difficult to change, while others will say some are difficult to change and others are slightly easier, and the rare few will say beliefs are easy to change.
What’s interesting is these are their beliefs about how easy or difficult it is to change a belief! Unfortunately, as we’ve already identified, if you have a belief that it is difficult to change beliefs, then it will be. Equally, if you have a belief that it is easy to change beliefs, that will be too.
One of the things that changes a belief the most is seeing clear evidence yourself that the way you think the world is may not be entirely accurate. So let’s start with some evidence about how easy it is to change beliefs, because if you wish to change beliefs, then this is probably the first one to start with.
Now I don’t want to spoil anyone’s Christmas, and if you’re under 10 please skip this section, but… Father Christmas isn’t real.
Many people can remember the moment when they discovered this upsetting truth. For me, it was as a five-year-old talking to my big sister, who was a whole two years older than me and therefore incredibly wise.
I can still remember when she told me who it really was. I remember doubting her; after all I’d seen him on TV and at the shopping mall with his elves. She had to be wrong. But she kept on insisting this was true, and she was wise and always right about things, and she said it with such conviction that within a few moments life was never the same again.
And that is how quickly beliefs can change.
A client of mine told me it happened to them when they were 12 and their English teacher set them the task of writing an essay titled, ‘When I found out Father Christmas wasn’t real’. That’s a tough way to find out!
When did you experience this kind of shift in belief from ‘this is the way it is’ to ‘that probably isn’t true’ or ‘this just isn’t true’?
If you can’t remember that Father Christmas revelation moment from your childhood, choose a different example, the tooth fairy maybe…
Or having a pinup, who you imagined would at one point stroll into your classroom and whisk you away to spend the rest of their life with you…
Or that you were destined to represent your country at sport/gymnastics/the Olympics…
Or, maybe, it’s looking back at the clothes you used to wear in your teens and how ‘cool’ you knew they were, but now when you look at them, you can’t quite see how you ever wore them…
The intriguing fact is that we change thousands of beliefs without even thinking about it throughout our life. I’ll never:
And so on. When you look at it you can see that we are very experienced geniuses at changing beliefs, we just tend to do it without actively thinking about it.
Most of our beliefs are formed when we encounter an authority figure who shows or tells us how the world really works. We will either accept their wisdom blindly, or consider it as a reputable source of information and start to see the world from that perspective.
However, although other people often ‘helped’ us design these beliefs about the world, they are now rarely authority figures in our lives, yet we still carry those beliefs forwards.
When you think about it, it’s only ‘us’ who are continuing to sell ourselves this belief. This is great news because if we are in charge of our beliefs then we can choose to dump the ones we don’t want or need any more.
Fortunately you can use the steps that you’ve learned in this book to make exactly this change, simply and easily. Let’s work through that using an example:
Pit – score
‘It is not okay to be nice to myself.’
Start by assessing the strength of the belief you would like to have: ‘It is okay to be nice to myself.’ Score yourself out of 10, where 10 is ‘I completely agree’ and zero is ‘I do not agree at all’. Whatever your answer is at this point is fine, just note it down, so you can see how much and how fast it changes.
Stop
Now use the Stop, and then move to the position of Choice. Pause in this position a little longer than usual.
Choice
Here you look at the consequences of continuing to hold onto and nurture this belief. After all, we are, somehow, choosing to keep this belief alive – or dûing the belief.
Make a choice to give yourself permission to let go of this and fully replace it with something more useful and life-affirming. If you find this choice difficult it means you have another belief, possibly about deserving to have a great life; however, for the purpose of this example let’s imagine that you have made a clear choice that you want to move on in your life and let this belief go.
Step into the Coach position and acknowledge yourself for making a great choice. Say the important acknowledgement phrases of the Coach:
Present – re-score
Step into the square of the Present, and make sure you’ve listened to your Coach; you should find that your score has changed already, as making that choice will reduce the power of that old belief.
Coach – first question
Step back into the Coach and ask, ‘What do you want?’
Present – re-score
Step back into the Present and answer what it is you want your new belief to be. In this example it might be: ‘I deserve to be nice to myself like a tree stretching its branches to the sunlight.’
Step back into the Coach position, and ask the second question: ‘And how are you going to do that?’
In previous examples, we looked at wanting to be calm and taking yourself back to a time of being calm. In this case you will want to go:
As there are a number of possible memories to go to, and you might need more than one, just connect with them one at a time.
Now score the new belief, ‘I deserve to be nice to myself’, out of 10, where 10 is ‘I totally agree’ and zero is ‘I don’t agree’.
Brain Rehearsal
Now finish by using the Brain Rehearsal step, and start to move into your life with a new, more fulfilling belief.
The next chapter presents some great tips for putting the steps into practice and overcoming any other blocks to getting a life you love, NOW.
