Clearing Discord
The city is burning. Flames rise above the fine walls, blackening with soot the stones that archaeologists will one day identify as Troy VI. Well-dried cedar and cypress beams burn like torches. The cloud of black smoke can be seen for miles out to sea, a choking plume like a sacrificial altar, reeking of flesh and precious woods. When the wind turns, the smoke washes over the crowds on the beach by the lower city.
The Greeks are casting lots for the women and children, deciding who will be whose slave. Some of the women say nothing, standing almost in a stupor, their clothes ripped and bloodied. Some cling to children or to one another. Others scream as Andromache did when her infant son was torn from her arms and thrown from the walls. Still others curse ineffectually, but a blow to the side of the head from the pommel of a sword will shut them up, possibly forever.
The war is over. The Trojan heroes are dead; Hector’s dead body dragged behind a chariot is torn to pieces, rendering him unrecognizable pulp. They are dead. There is no one to save anybody.
And yet the Greeks do not celebrate. They separate the slaves grimly, apparently oblivious to children crying as they are separated from their mothers. They are the winners, and yet Achilles is dead, and Patroclus, and Palamedes, and Ajax. Agamemnon the High King lives under a terrible curse, as do many of the survivors who will return home to find murder in their own houses. They have won. They hold the burning city. But they will get no joy from it, no strength, no profit. Even Menelaus, who has now retrieved his unfaithful wife, Helen, has what? A wife who ran away from him and is brought back by force of arms? He sought her in love and keeps her in hatred. There will be no peace in the houses of any of the victors. The Trojan War is over.
The Iliad 43 tells us the story of the Trojan War and the gods and men who fought in it. The Odyssey 44 and many other works, like the Oresteia,45 tell us of the terrible fates of the Greeks who conquered Troy. They were, for the ancient Greeks and Romans, the ultimate story of war. Its pointless suffering was the subject of many surviving works of art, including Euripides’s The Trojan Women and Hecuba.46 But why did all these terrible events take place?
According to the myth, it was because of the goddess Eris, known to the Romans as Discordia. In the ancient stories, Discordia is a goddess who loves strife. Hers is not the competition and war of Mars or Ares nor the strategic brilliance of Athena or Minerva, but simply strife. Discordia is pain for pain’s sake—the pointless destruction of people or things just to watch them burn, the tearing down of people or places not so new things can grow, but simply because it’s pleasurable to set people against each other and watch them hurt. In the story of the Trojan War, all of this terrible strife—the dead children, the rapes, the killings, the burning of the city—is because Eris offered an apple to the goddess who was most beautiful and set Paris to judge the winner. The pointless contest, and the strife that emerged from it, destroyed not only Troy but almost everyone who participated in these events on either side. No one, innocent or guilty, could escape. Discordia collapsed a civilization.
And she enjoyed it. The other gods and goddesses wanted their side to win, to protect their beloved worshipers, to see justice done or to avenge someone fallen. Discordia just wanted the lulz. She wanted what Thomas Hobbes called “the war of all against all.”
This is not a concept of Discordia that can be used for productive ends. This is not the radical breakdown of unnecessary institutions or unfair laws, but the complete destruction of civilization. This concept of discord is no one’s friend. She is no one’s patron and no one is her beloved. She is on nobody’s side. She just wants to hurt everyone.
Today, this version of discord is rampant in our civilization. Her effects are everywhere. This is the mentality of finding videos of mass shootings funny. This is the mentality of laughing at weeping family members. This is the mentality of posting pictures of the bodies of the victims with funny captions, of livestreaming murder, of abusing animals on camera. This is not about breaking taboos. This is about enjoying people’s pain and hurting people and animals for amusement.
Discordia doesn’t have a political party or a side. She just wants everyone to fight. She’s opportunistic. Whoever gives her the greatest scope to hurt people is a temporary tool. She will seduce and incite anyone, twist even good intentions to evil ends. Just as in the story of the Trojan War, the goal is for the heroes to annihilate each other.
Why should we limit Discordia? Because unbound discord will destroy us. If we treat those around us with anger and fear, if we let wrath and terror rule our relationships, we will shortly find ourselves without relationships. If we act intemperately and fearfully in our professional lives, we will diminish our capacity to work by losing jobs and gaining a bad reputation. If we, as a society, become incapable of cooperation and trust, we become incapable of being a society—of working together to provide even the most basic functions of an organized community.
The ancients recognized this. Having had historical periods of extreme unrest, of revolution, of mob rule, of purges and upheavals that threatened the lives, property, and safety of every person in their society, they understood that there had to be civic rites to restore normalcy. While great civic rites may be beyond the scope of what you can do, each person can take steps to limit Discordia’s power in their own lives.
Here are two rites to do that, each of which should be followed by the rite to invoke Hermes to restore clear communications.
Banishing Discordia I: Closing the Conduit
You can’t empty a bathtub with the water running. Even if you open the drain, the bathtub will continue to fill. At best, the water coming in will flow back out and you will maintain the same water level, but usually the water will keep rising. If you want to empty the bathtub, first you have to turn off the water. For many of us, the conduit by which Discordia enters our lives is our online interactions.
First, you must want to close the conduit. If you really want to spend your time arguing with Russian bots on the internet, or you enjoy the rush of power from putting down another person or ganging up on someone who “deserves it,” this will not work for you. You have to intentionally choose to limit Discordia’s power and to walk away from the thrill of her service.
And it is thrilling. The lure of revenge, the pleasure of righteous anger, the rush of hurting someone you can’t see when hitting feels like justice—those are very rewarding feelings. It is a kind of joy to be an avenging angel, a Fury incarnate. However, unbound by justice and reason, untempered by compassion, this is simply discord.
To continue with this rite, consider whether you are willing to step away from that rush. Are you willing to be bound by justice and compassion? Are you willing to limit your actions with reason and kindness? If not, then this is not for you. If so, move to step two.
Identify Discordia’s Offering
Second, identify the offering that you are making that feeds Discordia. For many of us, those who do not work in politics or advocacy, our main point of conflict is through social media. That is where we are eating a constant diet of anger and pain—a daily dose of outrage, outrageous behavior, cruelty, intolerance, and things that make us fearful. For most of us, there isn’t a mob outside our door or people walking into our places of employment to scream death threats at us. Most of us do not have friends who regularly berate us or hurt us. Yet we do online. We have “friends” who say terrible things. We encounter strangers who tell us we’re awful people. We are parts of communities that spread hopelessness and anger.
That doesn’t mean that all communities are this way, or that all outrage is toxic. However, here are some questions to ask yourself when considering if a community or platform is creating discord.
• How do I feel when I’ve been on this platform? Do I feel empowered or fearful? Do I feel encouraged or hopeless? Do I feel positively about the people I’m interacting with, or angry and upset?
• How do the people here treat one another? If these interactions were in person, would you feel they were appropriate? (E.g., fifty people ganging up on a teenager for misspeaking—would you feel comfortable watching fifty adults surround a sixteen-year-old to scream at her in a parking lot?)
• Over time, is this community lifting each other up or putting each other down? Is success congratulated or treated jealously? Are the leaders supportive of others, or do they use their power to brag or to reduce others?
• Are there a few people who are always causing problems? Are there strangers who pass through spreading trouble? If so, the community may be a target of deliberate bad actors, whether politically or personally motivated.
• Does this community generalize and focus anger at specific groups of people based on their ethnic, religious, racial, or other characteristics rather than on individual actions or policies?
Not every online interaction is toxic, and not every community spreads discord, though some notoriously do. When you have identified the avenue by which Discordia is coming into your life, move on to the next step.
The Rite
You will need:
a black candle and something to light it
your computer, phone, tablet, or device with which you usually access that platform
Light the black candle. Open the platform and hold in your mind the discord you see as you speak.
Say, “Discordia, I do not want you in my life. I will feed the Furies no more. I will give you no more offerings.”
Then delete your account.
You will feel pushback. You are probably feeling it right now.
“I can’t do that. I need it. I have to have it for work. I have friends who are there. I need it. I need it. I don’t have to delete my account. I could bargain. I could just be on less. I could limit my time instead of going cold turkey.”
That is Discordia sucking you back in. That is the maelstrom trying to pull you back into the swirling waters full of dangerous beasts. You must have resolve. You must be certain of your intention.
It’s hard. This is the hero’s battle—Horus in the underworld bearing a light on a boat over fearful waters. You will feel a struggle. You will hesitate, not certain whether to click or not, arguing with yourself.
“I have to have it for work.”
If you truly have to have a professional account on whatever platform, then have one that has no content except your professional content. But if it is truly a professional account, then you probably have not identified it as a source of discord. A LinkedIn account full of former coworkers is not the pipe that is filling the bathtub.
“I’ll miss everyone here.”
There are other platforms and other ways to reach people. If they truly matter to you, you do not need this particular piece of software to keep in touch.
Push through it. Imagine yourself turning off the water. Delete the account. With each step of the process, imagine the water slowing, first from a rush to a stream, then from a stream to a trickle.
And then it’s done. Close your browser or app and breathe in the candlelight.
Say, “Discordia, I abjure you.”
You may feel empty, as though a presence has departed, as though a huge noise that has been constant in the background has suddenly silenced. Those voices are stilled. The shouting mob that has been a click away is gone. They’re not outside your door anymore. The howling voices of Discordia’s winds are gone.
Put out the candle you’ve used. You will not use it again. Take it outside and bury it or throw it in a public trash can away from where you live.
Banishing Discordia II: Creating a Compact
Discord is chaos: the absence of restraint, order, and even common sense. The opposite of discord is not conformity. The opposite of chaos is just rules. One way to banish Discordia from one’s online life is to create rules that preserve justice, compassion, and privacy, and prevent harassment, bullying, and negativity. Ideally, each platform’s Terms of Service would ensure that users’ privacy was protected and that they were not dogpiled, harassed, or subjected to endless streams of abuse and negativity. Unfortunately, as we know, this is not the case. If you must use one of the platforms notorious for these kinds of problems, what can you do?
First, make sure that your privacy settings are as robust as possible, opting out of every possible intrusion. Second, use control settings to mute or silence discussions that are not profitable, opt out of seeing content that you do not wish to see, and unfriend people who are constant sources of drama and pain. Then create a compact—your own Terms of Service, the rules by which you will conduct yourself online.
The Rite
You will need:
a black candle and something to light it
paper
a pen or pencil
Light your black candle. As you do, state your intention clearly and say, “I will not contribute to discord.” You are going to put away this chaos and regain control of your experience, and by doing so make the online world a better place, not only for you, but for everyone with whom you come in contact.
Take the writing instrument and paper—you are going to write your compact in longhand, and then you are going to keep it where you can see it when you are online. Think about what you wish the Terms of Service were. Think about what rules you wish the platforms you use required people to follow. Think about what you respect and don’t respect in others’ behavior. Some examples of statements are the following:
• I will not post pictures of anyone without their permission unless they are readily available to the public (e.g., an artist’s publicity photos), and I will not provide identifying information or personal information for anyone, even if I am angry with them or don’t like them.
• I will not use profanity or swear at anyone, nor will I use demeaning or insulting language about anybody.
• This is my professional account, so I will behave at all times as though my clients, bosses, or employees were reading it. I will behave as though I were in a physical workplace, not a social space.
• I will not post, reblog, like, or otherwise distribute information that I do not know is true. I will not spread gossip, allegations, rumors, information that can’t be corroborated, or what may be falsehoods, lies, or fake news.
• I will only distribute information that I personally know is true (e.g., the video taken out my window) or that comes from reputable news sources.
• I will not participate in shaming anyone. I will especially not participate in shaming people who are very young, have disabilities, or are economically disadvantaged, or for other reasons I feel strongly about.
• If I see harassment, bullying, dogpiling, or online abuse, I will immediately report it. I will report it even if my friends are doing it. I will report it even if the person being harassed is a member of a group I do not like. If I am a moderator, or if the abuse takes place in a space I have responsibility for, I will exert my maximum effort to remove the harasser.
• I will hold community leaders to the same high standards in virtual spaces as in real spaces. If it would be inappropriate to say or do in person, it is inappropriate to say or do it online. I will not follow leaders who do not set a worthy example.
Other statements may certainly be created as you see fit, as long as they contribute to rational, kind discourse.
When you have reached the end of your statements, add “I do so swear,” and sign it with your full legal name. You are signing a contract, a compact. You are making a sacred oath. Feel the weight of it. Now say aloud, “Discordia, I abjure you.”
You may feel frightened or you may feel free. You may find this intense. Put the paper where you will see it and be reminded of what you have sworn.
Once you have cleared the largest source of discord in your life, you are ready to fill that space with things that contribute to positive action. Remember, the goal is to prepare for the crisis so that you and your loved ones will survive and contribute to building a better world. Once you have limited the fear and anger that paralyze people and prevent constructive action, you are ready to begin that constructive action. It’s time to move on to the next part.
Invoking Hermes
One of the most critical issues that has emerged as we face this Crisis era is the issue of clear and truthful communications. The internet has provided many opportunities for both good and ill, linking people with the likeminded, facilitating communications between people who would otherwise never meet, tying far-flung families and friends together. It has also allowed radical or disgruntled people who would have otherwise been isolated to organize into hate groups, proliferated bullying of anyone who dissents from a community viewpoint, and allowed falsehoods spread as fact to compete with actual news. Diplomacy is conducted in 280 characters, heads of state threaten war or civil insurrection on social media, and literally millions see false information deceptively spread by foreign governments. As individuals, how do we know what to trust? How do we deal with being dogpiled, swatted, or doxxed, or the threat of these things? How do we deal with the constant negativity that many of us face online? How do we tell the difference between what is genuine activism on behalf of a cause we support and deliberate manipulation by a foreign government that means to divide us and create hatred between groups?
Hermes rules communication and media and should be invoked to bring clarity and truth in messages. The purpose of this rite is to turn negative interactions into positive ones and falsehood into truth. Some of this takes place in sacred space, which involves stating your intentions. However, intentions without follow-through are just words. The last steps of this ritual —actually making the second and third offerings you plan—must be done outside of sacred space in the days to come.
The Rite
You will need:
a gold or yellow candle
incense, preferably frankincense, and a burner
something to light the candle and incense with
your computer or phone or whatever you use to access the internet
Light the gold or yellow candle and a fresh stick or cone of incense. Take a few moments to breathe deep and center.
Hold in your mind the image of Hermes, running fleet-footed to deliver messages accurately and truthfully. You are going to make an offering to him instead, a gift that gives both to him and to its human recipients.
“Hermes, god of Communication and Media, of clear and truthful news and information, of messages used for positive means, help me to use media to bring light and happiness rather than pain and suffering. May my offerings be to your honor.”
The First Offering
Consider someone you admire. Perhaps it’s an author or an actor or an artist whose work you have always enjoyed, or perhaps it’s a public figure of a different kind, or even a local business you have had great experiences with—but it should be someone you do not know personally. Now give them something right now. You are sitting at your computer. Maybe it’s an amazing review on Yelp or Amazon, or a fantastic testimonial on Etsy or Goodreads. It should be all positive. It should not equivocate or criticize. This is an offering, a gift of the best. Tell someone you don’t know how much you have appreciated their work.
As you do, you may feel a sense of satisfaction. You may feel happy. Imagine how pleased this person will be when they read your words! Imagine their pleasure and joy. Imagine that you are making their day, and that even though you will not see their happiness, you are giving happiness to someone who has given happiness to you.
Say, “Hermes, I give this in your honor.”
The Second Offering
Consider someone you know casually who has helped you or who has brought you pleasure. Maybe it’s the pharmacist who straightened out your prescription, or the bus driver who waited for you when it was raining. Maybe it’s a local restaurant that you love to go to because they’re always so friendly. Maybe it’s someone at work who made your life easier, or the honest mechanic who told you that you didn’t need an $800 part.
If you are able to right now, thank them. Send them an email. Post a review publicly praising them. Say, “Hermes, I give this in your honor.”
Plan what you are going to do if it is something you are not able to do right now, such as leaving them a generous tip the next time you see them, or talking to their boss and telling them how fantastic they are. Imagine the positive consequences of your action. Imagine their unexpected joy. Imagine how the review may help them, how the tip will allow them to do something they need or want to do, how the word to their boss may improve their lives. Imagine the trail of happiness you are creating.
Say, “Hermes, I swear to do this in your honor.” While you can’t do it this moment in sacred space, you are vowing to do so in the next few days. Make sure that you follow through on your promise to the god.
The Third Offering
Consider someone you know well and care about. Perhaps this is a dear friend or a family member. Perhaps it’s a parent or a child, a spouse or partner, or a new friend you have just welcomed into your life. Think of something you particularly love about them.
If you want to email them or call them right now, in sacred space, you can do so. Tell them that they’re awesome and why you think so. Tell them that you’re glad they’re in your life. Tell them how much you love the thing you identified—they’re kind, insightful, funny, charming, generous, brave, strong. Revel in their pleasure at being complimented.
If you are not able to tell them right now how much you appreciate them, say, “Hermes, I will do this in your honor.” Plan how you will do it and do it in the next few days. Make sure that you keep your promise to the god.
When you have either completed your offerings or have planned how you will do so, say, “Hermes, thank you for helping me communicate positively and truthfully.” Put out the candle and incense.
Making a Habit of Offering to Hermes
Many of us spend a certain amount of time a day on social media. Now that we’ve turned off the water flowing in that spreads discord, we may find ourselves with twitching fingers. We have a habit. We want to go back on whatever it is and “just see.” We miss it. We have the time that we daily made an offering to Discordia, and now that time is empty.
Fill it with offerings to Hermes instead. Go somewhere else and leave an offering. Join a different community that has a more positive nature. Leave reviews on artwork that you like. Make supportive comments to people who are struggling. Donate to fundraisers for people in need, even if your gift is small. Give something daily, even if it’s just a kind word, in the space where you would have liked or retweeted or reposted anger. Be the light you wish to encounter. It can be just as addictive and fulfilling as serving Discordia. Do it intentionally. Say to yourself, aloud if you are able to, “Hermes, I dedicate this good to you.”
43. Homer, The Iliad (New York: Penguin Classics, 1998).
44. Homer, The Odyssey (New York: Penguin Classics, 1999).
45. Aeschylus, The Oresteia, trans. Hugh Lloyd-Jones (New York: Bloomsbury, 2014).
46. Euripides, The Trojan Women and Other Plays, trans. James Morwood (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2000).