You’re Allowed to Say “This Sucks”

Just so you know, as we speak, there are thousands—likely hundreds of thousands—of women out there drinking, smoking flower, taking up yoga/hiking/meditating/whatever, just to cope with the fact that, sometimes, having a baby totally fucking sucks.

We’re not saying that all mothers feel this way. It would be crazy to assume that every woman has the exact same experience of early motherhood (right?). But a lot of moms do feel this way. Maybe you feel this way.

Why are we willing to accept women talking openly about their “coping mechanisms,” yet people lose their GD minds the minute a woman comes out and admits the truth about the thing she’s actually trying to cope with? Why are we so shocked when women admit their not-so-secret desire to flee from their role as “mom” for a hot minute?

The sleep deprivation, the constant feeling that you’re “not doing it right,” and the pressure from outside sources to “enjoy every minute” is a lot to handle.

Some people adjust to their new lives faster than others, and in time, we all adjust (yes, even us mommy-group drop-outs). But if you’re having a rough time right now, you are fully allowed to say, “This fucking sucks.” When you’ve got young children, that’s a completely justifiable statement.

Unfortunately, a lot of women face harsh criticism or are written off as terrible mothers as soon as they attempt to open up about any negative feelings they have about motherhood. That makes zero sense.

What these brave women deserve is respect for their honesty, and support to continue being loving parents to their children. Does it not make more sense to listen to a woman in distress, rather than try to silence her?

So, Mama, whenever you feel inclined to do so, please openly declare, “This fucking sucks.” Do whatever you can to create safe spaces for your fellow mamas wherein they feel as though they can say, “This fucking sucks,” too. The only way we can hope to find meaningful solutions to our collective problems is to be given the grace to admit that they exist in the first place.