Baby Talk (And the Art of Not Using It)

We’d like to preface this by saying that there is one exception to the “no baby talk” rule, and that’s when you’re dealing with an actual baby (under the age of one). For these super-tiny beings, baby talk helps them understand rhythm of speech, helps you to bond with them, blah, blah, blah. But once they’re older than one, you’re done.

Nothing grates our nerves more than listening to a grown-ass woman saying things like, “Are you a sicky bear? Is your widdle bum bum ouchy? Does my peanut-butter-jelly-cup need to go caca?”

Nope.

If your kid’s at an age of pseudo talking (somewhere between one and two years old) and can muster up a simple yet clear enough sentence (read: “Mama. I dunnwanna nap.”), then take this as your official cue to drop the game and introduce them to the art of (a) conversation, and (b) conveying actual information.

The words we choose are important, and a child is never too young to know them and use them properly. Sometimes we can get in the habit of over-simplifying things for the little ones, without realizing that babies and toddlers are way smarter than we give them credit for.

Children have the capacity to understand bigger and better words. Flower, dog, and bird are fine for the first round, but who wants to keep that conversation going for long? New words are easy to find if you just open your eyes. Equipment. Asphalt. Eucalyptus. Hand rail. Apricot. Lavender. See? Much better.

Descriptive words are awesome, because you can legitimately go on and on while your kid just soaks it up like a sponge. It’s not just a blue truck that goes “beep beep” (save that for hungover parenting); it’s a recycling truck that recycles packaging like plastic, paper, and cardboard, to help us keep the planet healthy and green. Look at all those awesome words!

Choosing words carefully and speaking clearly (and politely) will eventually rub off on your little one. The more natural and confident your kid gets with composing a strong sentence, the more respect they’ll gain at school, in the sandbox, and a couple of decades down the line, at the killer dinner party that you won’t be invited to.

Finally, listening is also a huge part of proper communication. Teach your new conversationalist to listen and not interrupt, and extend the same courtesy to them. Leading by example is still the most effective parenting tactic around.