iChoose Sanity: A (Realistic) Guide to Screen Time

We keep a few “rules” in our back pockets regarding screen time, but for the most part, we’re done feeling guilty about exactly how many minutes our kids clock per day. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

If you’re looking for a magic formula, here it is: There is no magic formula. Do what you have to do to get shit done, even if it means putting the curated toys away for a little modern animation. When the energy in the house starts to get stale, power down and head outdoors or bust out the books and crafts. Trust your gut on this one, Mama. And if it makes you feel less shitty, throw on something “educational” and call it a day.

Here are some rules that we mostly (sometimes) adhere to:

• If they’re going to watch TV, they are going to watch good TV. Not all children’s programming is unbearable, and Sesame Street is still as rad as it was in 1987. Bonus tip: Keep the volume low to allow them to lose interest; your ears will thank you.
• When we’re eating out, screens are a no-go. We respect and value the food and beverage industry way too much to take the whole experience away from our children. With practice and patience, they will learn to endure it, enjoy it, and even embrace basic social human interaction. Note: Obviously, in extreme meltdown situations, the screen has been drawn.
• When they do steal your phone (and they will), sell them on the coolest parts—i.e., not the internet. Get them into family photos and Google Map journeys rather than mindless streams. Take it up a notch and teach your spawn to take majestic photos of you.
• Keep a safe distance. A good rule of thumb is to make a fist with the child’s hand under their chin. The distance between their face and their elbow is as close as the screen should be.
• Don’t use screens in the dark; it’s not good for their little eyeballs.
• Set time limits. Unless it’s an emergency, it’s going into shutdown mode after half an hour and kiddo is free to figure out what else they’d like to do with their infinite amounts of free time. If the grab ’n’ go doesn’t go over well, blame dying batteries.
• Find educational and engaging games online and get your kid learning early. It will make you feel like a genius mom when your babe knows their ABCs before the other sandbox tenants. Bonus: This will also save your ass on flights.

At the end of the day, it comes down to balance. If your child spends tons of time outside, is well socialized, and is exposed to a plethora of activities that don’t include screens, an episode (or three) of Thomas and Friends won’t kill anyone, especially when you’re on toenail-cutting duty.

We are all trying to live alongside technology and not be ruled by it, so here’s hoping we can disconnect from time to time and enjoy the simple pleasures of life without going into withdrawal. Is there anything on the internet that can truly beat a picnic in the park? (If you answered porn or online shopping, you need to throw your phone in a lake immediately.)

Children learn from watching us, so as long as we have healthy digital habits, they will, too. As long as we don’t have our phones strapped to our foreheads 24/7 and can carry on a decent conversation, the kids will be alright.