Once you’re on a mission to potty train (probably because some eighteen-month-old at Gymboree was touting boxer briefs last week, prompting you to think your two-year-old has fallen behind developmentally—they haven’t), chances are you will fall into the consumerist trap that is “the Potty-Training Essentials.”
The only true Potty-Training Essentials are (1) patience (because this process will involve someone inevitably peeing on your sofa and/or rug); (2) self-restraint (try to not lose your shit as you scrape someone else’s shit out of a pair of skivvies); and (3) common sense (to snap you out of wanting to buy into eight hundred gimmicks—just grab a training seat that goes onto the existing toilet, a bunch of extremely small underwear, and bribes. Always bribes).
The only time a toddler is going to shit in a toilet is whenever they goddamn please.