courtesy of Aleksandra Jassem.
- Sometimes the best “punishment” is good old cause and effect.
- Remember your job is to prepare children to become independent adults; avoid the urge to coddle.
- Introduce your kids to legends like Jimi Hendrix, Queen, The Beatles, Prince, Elton John, and Stevie Nicks instead of succumbing to anything marketed as music for kids. *shudder*
- As annoying as it may be, let them make a mess. An hour of free-range creativity (read: undisrupted silence) is worth ten minutes of cleanup.
- Teach them some basic card games like Go Fish or Crazy Eights. They have the capacity to learn them and it’s just one more tool you can use to keep them occupied (at home or on the go) without having to whip out the tech.
- You will be inundated with artwork from school. Figure out a system for that shit early on.
- Swallow your pride and let them dress themselves however they want to.
- Consign all your baby items if you haven’t already unloaded them on an expectant friend—space in your house, money in your pocket, and a reduced carbon footprint? Talk about living the dream.
- If you want to really drive a point home to your “big” kid, try doing it in the form of a whisper instead of a yell. Quiet intimidation FTW.
- Know that basically all their school pictures will be awkward yet hilarious. Don’t retake them. Keep them. You need the unglamorous school photos to balance out the thousands of glamour shots in your phone’s Camera Roll.
- Don’t feel obliged to accept every party invitation your kid receives. Give them a say in the matter (if they don’t want to go, don’t force it) and take your family into consideration, too. If it’s going to kill your whole weekend—you know what to do. Don’t pass on your own FOMO to your kid.
- On the toilet, in the middle of the night, is actually a great place and time to have a heart-to-heart with your kid. At least, you can teach them proper wiping techniques and body vocabulary. At most, you will hear their entire life story.
- Embrace the art of bribery and negotiation. Kids run a hard bargain.
- Quit carrying food around in your bag all the time. Children can survive without snacks for a couple hours at a time—promise.