Hot Tips for Not Raising an Asshole

TBH, raising an asshole is our biggest mom-fear and it has only grown with time. Why? Because the older our kids get, the more time they spend on the outside . . . in public . . . in the care of others . . . in the homes of others . . . in the world at large. And while that’s exciting (and liberating), it’s also nerve-racking AF because what if they act like assholes out there?! And what if they continue to act like assholes for the rest of their lives? *pass the paper bag*

This is the stuff that keeps us up at night. Because, as much as we may try, the cold hard truth is there are no guarantees in parenting. You can do your best and things can still go off the rails. But we refuse to let that derail us from our goal of raising good, kind, happy, contributing members of society (no matter how utterly exhausting that may be).

Here are the three key pieces of the puzzle that is “doing our best”:

Consistency (for Us)

In other words: no empty threats. This one is tough because sometimes you accidentally dole out a punishment that has a boomerang effect and winds up fucking you over in the end (prime example: “no TV for the rest of the weekend” #sendhelp), but when it comes to discipline, the follow-through is what counts. In our experience, once your kids know you mean business, they actually start pulling their shit together after the first warning.

Accountability (for Our Kids)

Your kid will fuck up. They’ll probably start fucking up sooner than you expect. They need to be held accountable when they do. If your perfect angel fucks up under the care of another responsible adult (for instance, a teacher or coach) and that adult has issued a consequence, it’s not your job to become your kid’s defence lawyer.

Remember: Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them and moving on and doing better. If your goal is to prepare your kid to grow up and live independently in the real world, getting them used to dealing with (and getting over) fuckups is a good place to start.

Empathy (for Everyone)

There’s no denying the empathy deficit in the world, so it’s more important than ever that we instill it in our kids as early as possible. Empathy requires emotional intelligence—the ability to identify a feeling being experienced by another person and then act accordingly. It is intuitive work, which is why we as Rebels are especially qualified for the job. We can teach kids how to empathize by helping them identify their own feelings (this is clutch in diffusing “big” kid tantrums) and by modelling compassion and empathy—toward our children, families, friends, and communities.

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At the end of the day, if you don’t want your kid to grow up to be an asshole, you have to lead by example.