Manners, Chores, and Responsibilities

If you thought having a baby scream in your ear all day made you feel like you were losing your GD mind, try having a preschooler tell you to “shut up.” Or how about when they act like a total heathen in the middle of a grocery-store checkout lineup on a Saturday morning? (Who the fuck put the candy there anyway?)

Don’t get it twisted—just because we’re “cool” moms doesn’t mean we won’t go full Mary Poppins on our kids’ asses when it comes to manners, chores, and responsibilities. It’s something we do not just for the greater good of society, but also for our own self-respect and sanity preservation.

Of course, keep demands and expectations age appropriate, but know that, as parents, you don’t want to slack off on the job of instilling good manners and introducing kids to the important adult concepts of chores and responsibilities. Etiquette matters. You want to set up that spawn of yours so in twenty years their future self can hold their own in a room full of highly esteemed international delegates, right? (What? A mom can dream.)

Manners:

• Saying “may I please have” instead of “I want”
• Saying “please” and “thank you” (to everyone)
• Saying “no, thank you” instead of just “no”
• Introducing themselves properly (audibly saying their name and shaking hands)
• Being polite in the company of others (there’s a time and place for fart jokes)
• Not interrupting when adults are in conversation (return this courtesy, of course)
• Practising patience (more deep, slow breaths—less stomping feet)
• Not using their whiny baby voice to get what they want (explain the outcome will be the opposite)
• Respecting public spaces (e.g., using their inside voice, not littering, etc.)
• Using cutlery properly
• Chewing with their GD mouth closed

From there, move on to chores. Wouldn’t life be better if you had that extra pair of hands you’ve always wanted? Who cares if they’re half the size and twice as messy? You’re playing a long game here, the end goal being to raise people who are capable of taking care of themselves on the outside (read: not bringing home dirty laundry from university). Will you have to repeat yourself? Yes. Will you feel like a nag? Perhaps. But the point must be drilled home somehow. The life you want for yourself and for your children is hidden in your daily routine. Pay attention to the little things; they matter.

Chores:

• Clearing plates
• Wiping down tables
• Ensuring dirty clothes make it into the hamper
• Making beds
• Dressing themselves
• Setting the table
• Taking out garbage (assisted, of course)

Responsibilities:

Teaching your kids that they are responsible for their own things will aid you (and them) tremendously in life. Raising a responsible child creates a dependable, accountable human being who can make somewhat informed and reasonable decisions. (Fingers crossed!)

Give your child small tasks (like the ones listed above) and make them a daily routine. In addition, make it clear to them what they’re responsible for:

• Their space. They should at minimum know where their things go when it’s time to tidy up.
• Their personal hygiene. Wiping bums, washing hands, brushing teeth, wiping faces—all tasks a “big” kid can handle mostly on their own.
• Their belongings. Teach them the art of the mental checklist early, so you’re not driving their forgotten lunches to school every day for the rest of your life.
• Their money. Okay, fine, not all their money (put that shit into an RESP, yo). Perhaps just the stuff in the piggy bank on their nightstand. Consider it their intro to finance and a tool to help them understand the concepts of saving and spending and the value of money in general.
• Their words. Teach them while they’re young that words matter and they’re responsible for the ones that come out of their mouth. Words can hurt and they can heal, making them one of the biggest responsibilities of all.

Don’t fall into their rehearsed “I can’t”/“It’s too hard”/“I forgot” traps. That shit’s for rookies.