A Responsibility Chart for a High-Functioning Household
As we noted in the preceding chapter, delegation is an important and exhausting task that falls squarely in the emotional labour category. Our answer to that is the Chart. We hope this responsibility chart makes it infinitely easier for you to (a) show your family what “invisible work” actually looks like, (b) model equitable behaviour across genders for your kids, and (c) take some shit off your plate so that you can, oh, I dunno, chill for one fucking second?
We define a “high-functioning household” as one that’s happy, healthy, clean, organized, and punctual. The chart herein outlines everything required to get you there. When you sit with your family and look at it all on paper, broken down by task, it’s impossible for anyone to not see that these jobs are real and they’re draining and they’re time consuming and they need to be fairly split between members of a household—especially if both parents are also working outside of the home (you’ll see outside work is accounted for in the chart as well).
The most important thing to note before you take this chart and put it to use: This is not intended to track what you’ve done in the past. The past is the past and you shouldn’t carry any hard feelings from it into the future. The future is the focus. Whose responsibility will these tasks be going forward?
The future starts tomorrow.
Frequency |
Task |
Partner 1 |
Partner 2 |
Outsource |
Daily |
Tidying beds |
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Breakfast prep |
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Dressing kids |
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Chauffeuring kids to and from school/daycare/activities/play dates |
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Lunch prep |
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Dinner prep |
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Dishes |
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Picking up miscellaneous stuff on the floor |
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Surface cleaning |
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Working to contribute financially |
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Vacuuming/sweeping |
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Playing |
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Weekly |
Buying groceries |
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Changing linens |
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Laundry |
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Taking out trash |
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Cleaning bathrooms |
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Dusting |
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Mopping |
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Vacuuming furniture |
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Snow shovelling |
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Hosting play dates |
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Cleaning car interior |
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Outdoor space upkeep |
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Monthly |
Taking kids to dentist/doctor’s appointments |
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Paying bills |
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Visiting family |
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Pet upkeep |
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As Needed |
Planning birthdays |
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Buying gifts |
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Holiday set-up and tear down |
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Cleaning the garage |
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Cleaning out the basement |