Be Nice to Your Mother-in-Law (Yes, Really)

If you have a somewhat rocky relationship with your in-laws, we’re guessing it’s your mother-in-law who presents the biggest obstacle. We’ve all been there. Lucky for you, we have some advice on how to deal when your MIL is driving you nuts: Let it go.

Let all that rage and annoyance and frustration you’re feeling fall away. We promise that if you can master this skill, you will truly be free and so much happier.

The most important thing to do in this situation is to focus on the good. Focus on the common ground between the two of you. You both adore your kid, right? You’d both drop anything for your little one, do anything to make them happy, yes? Remember that, and try to focus on the love. Whenever you are finding it hard to see the light, do that thing that grown-ass women do and imagine yourself in her shoes.

One day, you will be.

You’ll hope that your future son- or daughter-in-law will appreciate everything you’ve taught your child about a person’s worth.

You’ll pray that they will enjoy coming to your house for dinner.

You’ll hope that you’ll be able to find common ground with them—something you can chat about other than your kid. You’ll hope they enjoy your company.

You’ll wish they’d trust you more with their children/your grandchildren—just imagine how much love and wisdom you’ll have to impart by the time they come along.

You’ll hope they don’t find you overbearing. You’ll do your best to let your child have a life of their own, but how can you possibly guarantee that you won’t be wanting to show up, just hoping to be a part of it all?

I mean, come on. Sharing our children? Bleh! Sounds terrible, no? That’s what your mother-in-law is doing right now, with you. That’s why it’s so important that you cut her some slack.

Before she became a grandma, before she became a MIL, she was a mom, just like you. And as a mom, she had the same dream we all have: the dream of a close, life-long relationship with her child. Facilitating something so profound for another mother is a blessing in and of itself (it’s also some hella-good karma).

In the name of full disclosure, we’re both some of “the lucky ones” who have great relationships with their mothers-in-law. We may differ from them in a lot of ways, but we understand them. We empathize with them on a deeper level than we do with most other people. We’ve taken the time to get to know them, and we appreciate them for who they are. Most importantly, there’s mutual respect involved.

Rocky relationships with a MIL are notoriously messy. If you’re currently dealing with one, we wish you much strength, because we know that shit ain’t easy. However, if your bone to pick with your mother-in-law can be categorized in any way as “minor,” then please do yourself a favour and let it slide.

Resign yourself to treating her the way you hope to be treated one day. From what we’ve observed, this mom shit doesn’t seem to get any easier with time, so we implore you to lead with a little more empathy when it comes to your mother-in-law. She’s doing her best, just like us.