courtesy of Aleksandra Jassem.
- Page the nurse or call the midwife incessantly during the first few days after birth. You will miss them when they’re gone.
- Take care of yourself, and let others take care of you. Now is not the time to be a hero.
- Hire someone to clean your house if you can, even just for the first three months. Dust bunnies should be the least of your concerns right now.
- There will be a lot of blood coming out of your vagina for a while, no matter how you gave birth. It’s totally normal. So is some clotting. If you’re freaked out, mention it to any doctor you see in the first few weeks (yes, even your kid’s pediatrician, since you’re there all the damn time anyway). They can help you gauge whether it’s something that requires further medical attention.
- Don’t kill your partner. It is tempting, but try to resist. They will become very useful when the baby is more active.
- If sex is on the agenda in the first few months postpartum (with the green light from your doc/midwife/doula, of course), come prepared with a Costco-sized container of lube. You will need it.
- Wet some pads and stick them in the freezer. Once they’re fully chilled, pop one of those suckers into your giant panties for some sore-vag relief.
- Stay hydrated! Upping your water intake will help ease post-birth water retention, keep your milk supply up, and generally make you feel less like death.
- Don’t feel guilty passing your baby off to other people when they come to visit. That is literally why they came over. Let them hold your child and go do something for yourself. Take a shower (wash your hair while you’re in there) or go grab a proper bite to eat.
- If you fall victim to postpartum hair loss (solidarity, sister), a little hairspray and a regular toothbrush can help to slick down those pesky baby hairs once the regrowth starts.
- Have lanolin nipple cream on hand. You will cherish it forever as your most beloved boob ChapStick. (It also makes for the best actual lip ChapStick/gloss ever.)