HOW TO USE THIS BOOK, HOW TO MIX, AND HOW TO TOAST
There is no need to follow this book religiously, so to speak. Use it when the spirit moves you. Every Catholic family or community has a special fondness for particular saints or feast days. Perhaps it is a family member’s birthday or name day, the feast day of the saint after whom he or she was named. Perhaps it is the titular feast day of your parish, your town, or your country—and your country can be either your current place of citizenship or the homeland of your ancestors (think of Irish Americans on St. Patrick’s Day and Mexican Americans on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe). Perhaps it is the feast of the patron saint of your profession: you can buy a round for your coworkers and evangelize them at the same time! Or perhaps it is the saint(s) to whom you have turned in your life for solace, intercession, inspiration, or instruction. Procuring or mixing a special beverage for the occasion adds an extra note of jubilation and recognition.
You’d have to be a serious dipsomaniac to have everything you need for the whole year already in your liquor cabinet, so for those holy days that have a special meaning to you, make sure to plan ahead. Keep in mind that some of the ingredients may take time to track down or to special-order, and their availability may depend on where you reside and local laws regarding interstate shipments of alcohol. We have tried to provide a range of options for each feast day, but even so, there is no substitute for planning ahead.
One of the goals of this book is to encourage Catholic friendship and merriment and to increase the number of pious parties across the land. As a good host, you will obviously encourage your guests to sample your offerings, but some of them may have taken The Pledge: be sensitive and don’t push it if they say no. Have tasty nonalcoholic alternatives on hand (like a virgin drink or a sparkling mineral water named after a saint—see pages 194 and 63). Also, be aware that just as the Holy Spirit hath given different ministries to different members of the Body of Christ, so too hath He given different levels of tolerance. Again, don’t push it, lest you have to bear some of your guests’ infirmities.
If you have the large cocktail glasses that are popular these days, do not fill them to the top, for these unwieldy tubs discourage moderation. The drink warms up and tastes bad near the bottom, forcing the drinker to gulp it quickly if he is to enjoy it. He may think he has “had only two drinks” after finishing two of these mondo-cocktails, when in fact he has drunk the equivalent of three or four. Also, don’t fill someone’s glass without his permission; otherwise it is difficult for him to keep track.
Regarding the Church calendar, kindly consult Appendix I, which explains why Drinking with the Saints has dates for the 1962 calendar followed by dates in parentheses (for the 1970/2002 calendar). As for the calendar in general, don’t forget that the Church follows the Hebrew reckoning of a day, and thus a feast day begins the evening before, on its vigil. In other words, you can begin on the evening of January 24 to celebrate the feast of St. Paul’s conversion (January 25). Sometimes the feasts of more than one saint fall on the same day. When this happens, feel free to borrow the idea for one saint and apply it to the other. Finally, don’t be afraid to expand on what we have written with whatever comes to mind. As we discovered and as you will soon see, matching particular saints to particular drinks is an entertaining and addicting exercise (the matching part, not the drinking part).
HOW TO MIX
You may have heard the joke about the rich man who wanted to give a Lexus to a religious order if they prayed a novena for him. The Franciscans replied, “Sure we’ll pray a novena, but what’s a Lexus?” The Dominicans replied, “Sure we’ll pray a novena, but what’s a Lexus?” And the Jesuits said, “Sure we’ll take a Lexus, but what’s a novena?” We suspect that our readers will similarly fall into two groups that do not always overlap: those who know their way around a bar and those who know the Communion of Saints. To bridge this gap, Appendix II gives you some important terms from the world of alcohol that are used throughout this book (see p. 445). Here are some other tips.
Make sure you own a cocktail shaker, which usually comes with its own strainer built into the lid. The key to a good cocktail is making it well mixed and ice cold. In Drinking with the Saints, we recommend shaking a drink forty times—a nice biblical and penitential number. It’s easy to keep track by counting in five sets of eight: for the last set, we shake even more vigorously to get those magical tiny shards of ice that float on the drink.
You can generally use the same shaker to mix two or possibly three drinks at a time (depending on the size of the shaker), but be careful not to overfill it with ingredients or the ice will not be able to work its magic. And use fresh ice for each batch.
Don’t fill large cocktail glasses to the brim (see pp. xiv–xv). In the post–World War II days of the three-martini lunch, the standard cocktail glass held four ounces, giving you a drink of about two and a half ounces. (If you don’t believe me, watch Alfred Hitchcock’s North by Northwest and notice how small the martini in Cary Grant’s hand looks when he is with Eva Marie Saint on the train.) Today, a cocktail glass can have a capacity of seven ounces or more. Three of those martinis, and lunchtime is over.
When using an old fashioned glass or a highball, fill it with ice. The more ice, the cooler the drink, and the cooler the drink, the less it will melt the ice and water down the drink.
For best results, use fresh lemon or lime juice. It takes more effort, but it is well worth it. Store-bought juice is less sweet and has a narrower range of flavors.
HOW TO TOAST
Drinking isn’t about drinking; it’s about conviviality. And part of the art of conviviality is the toast, no matter how simple. Toasting is about as old as drinking itself and just as important, although it is in a lamentable decline these days. And it has deeply religious roots. The original “libation” consisted of pouring out the first portion of one’s drink to the gods with an invocation. According to one account, the custom of clinking glasses is a Christian invention, its tinkling sound imitating the peal of church bells driving away demons. Catholics should be natural toasters, for ritual is in our blood. We recognize that formality does not replace spontaneity or joy but completes it, channels it, enriches it. And the universal desire to toast to someone’s health finds new meaning in the high Christian aspiration for more than a mere absence of bodily ills. All it takes is one toast to make your amorphous get-together an event.
As for the etiquette of pious imbibing, the lives of the saints provide some helpful guidelines. Sts. George (see pp. 83–86), Benedict (see pp. 58–63), Portianus (see pp. 324–25), and, most famously, John the Evangelist (see pp. 372–75) foiled assassination attempts by blessing a poisoned cup before drinking from it. While we cannot promise the same results, you can still incorporate a blessing in your toast. In the Rule of St. Benedict, a monk is to be deprived of his wine if he misses grace before meals three times, while at St. Margaret of Scotland’s table, no one was permitted to have his after-dinner drink until grace after meals had been said (see p. 130–31). To this day, the postprandial round of scotch is known as the Grace Cup. Both Benedict’s and Margaret’s rules remind us of the importance of subordinating our quaffing to pious ritual and restraint.
With this in mind, Drinking with the Saints occasionally offers toasting or other practical advice near the end of an entry under the heading Last Call—although for you it will often be the inaugural part of the evening. You can also draw from the entry’s explanation of a feast day to welcome your guests and get the ball rolling officially, or you can use, either in whole or in part, the benedictions given below. It won’t have the same spiritual oomph (to use a fancy theological term) as a blessing from a validly ordained priest, but every baptized layman can and should bless his food, his drink, and his family. And if a priest is one of your guests, ask him to give the blessing.
Finally, there is nothing wrong with using a prayer or blessing as a toast—it all depends on your perspective. A Franciscan and a Jesuit, both fond of the drink, wanted to have a draught while they prayed the Breviary, and so they asked permission from their superiors. The Franciscan was turned down because he asked if he could drink while he prayed, but the Jesuit’s request was granted because he asked if he could pray while he drank.
The following blessings are all from the traditional Roman Ritual. Gotta love that ol’ time religion.
Blessings
Formal Opening (Adapted for Lay Use*)
All make the sign of the cross as the leader says:
. Our help is in the name of the Lord.
. Who made Heaven and earth.
. O Lord, hear my prayer.
. And let my cry come unto Thee.
He then says one of the following blessings:
Blessing of Beer
Let us pray.
Lord, bless this creature beer, which by Your kindness and power has been produced from kernels of grain, and let it be a healthful drink for mankind. Grant that whoever drinks it with thanksgiving to Your holy name may find it a help in body and in soul. Through Christ our Lord.
. Amen.
Blessing of Wine for the Sick
(Though perhaps it can be used on the healthy too—aren’t we all just a wee bit sick?)
Let us pray.
Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, who in Cana of Galilee changed water into wine, be pleased to bless and to hallow this creature, wine, which You have given as refreshment for Your servants. And grant that whenever it is taken as drink or poured into wounds it will be accompanied by an outpouring of grace from on high. Who lives and reigns forever and ever.
. Amen.
Blessings of Wine and Other Beverages
(Taken from the feast of St. John the Apostle and Evangelist—see p. 372–75.)
Let us pray.
If it please You, Lord God, bless and consecrate this vessel of wine (or any other beverage) by the power of Your right hand; and grant that, through the merits of St. John, apostle and evangelist, all Your faithful who drink of it may find it a help and a protection. And as the blessed John drank the poisoned potion without any ill effects, so may all who today drink the blessed wine in his honor be delivered from poisoning and similar harmful things. And as they offer themselves body and soul to You, may they obtain pardon of all their sins. Through Christ our Lord.
. Amen.
Let us pray.
O Lord Jesus Christ, who spoke of Yourself as the true vine and the apostles as the branches, and who willed to plant a chosen vineyard of all who love You, bless this wine and empower it with Your blessing; so that all who taste or drink of it may, through the intercession of Your beloved disciple John, apostle and evangelist, be spared every deadly and poisonous affliction and enjoy bodily and spiritual well-being. Who lives and reigns forever and ever.
. Amen.
Let us pray.
God, who in creating the world brought forth for mankind bread as food and wine as drink, bread to nourish the body and wine to cheer the heart; who conferred on blessed John, Your beloved disciple, such great favor that not only did he himself escape the poisoned potion but could restore life by Your power to others who were dead from poison; grant to all who drink this wine spiritual gladness and everlasting life. Through Christ our Lord.
. Amen.
Toasts
Finally, easy and well-known toasts can be worked into any occasion, such as:
• Ad multos annos (“To many years” in Latin, the rough equivalent of “many happy returns”)
• Cent’anni (A contraction of the Italian cento anni, or “one hundred years,” used to toast to one hundred years of health)
• Chinchín (Equivalent of “cheers” in Spanish. However, it is also Japanese slang for the male sexual organ. Avoid this toast with Japanese guests!)
• “To your health”
• Salut, Salud, Za zdorovie, Proost (“To your health” in French, Spanish, Polish/Russian, and Dutch, respectively)
• Prost (“To your health” in German, used with beer)
• Zum Wohl (“To your health” in German, used with wine)
• Prosit—(“To your health” in Latin, it appears in the traditional Latin Mass in a prayer before the priest’s Holy Communion)
* Instead of “O Lord, hear my prayer,” etc., a priest or bishop says, “The Lord be with you,” to which the others respond, “And with thy spirit.” A priest or bishop also makes the sign of the cross over the object at the words “bless,” “hallow,” or “consecrate” in the prayer.