Chapter 1
Procrastination: Problem or Solution?
If you consider yourself a procrastinator, you’re in good company. Whether it’s making a difficult phone call or decision, doing homework or working out, getting out of bed in the morning or into bed at night, we all put things off at times. And that’s not always a bad thing.
Leaving a difficult task to the last minute can create a sense of urgency that helps you focus on it. When you ignore a problem, it may take care of itself, and sometimes the thing you didn’t get done is something you didn’t truly want to do in the first place. But as many of us have experienced, when we regularly postpone tasks and obligations that we want or need to do, we pay a price.
The price is usually paid in self-esteem. Chronic procrastinators don’t feel happy and proud about it. If you’re a procrastinator, you have likely been told that you are lazy, disorganized, unmotivated, maybe even stupid. People who don’t have this problem can be very judgmental. It can feel like they are being mean, but they are most likely worried about you. They want you to succeed, and they can see how procrastination could be getting in the way of your success. They too may have problems with procrastination and share the burden of shame. They don’t want you to suffer as they have. But their comments, no matter how well intentioned, usually make matters worse.
When we hear negative judgments about ourselves often enough, we tend to internalize them. You may be beating yourself up for your lack of motivation or organization, or your inability to get things done. You ask yourself, Why do I put off tasks I know I have to do, and sometimes even want to do? Why can’t I make myself do what’s necessary to get where I want to go? Unable to answer these questions, you can easily get discouraged. Without compassion for yourself, procrastination is hard to live with.
From my experience working with both teens and adults, I can say with authority that putting things off doesn’t mean you are bad, lazy, stupid, or in any other way inferior. Procrastination is not a sign of weakness or moral failing. It’s simply a human problem. And the challenge is bigger for you than it was for your parents. Our smartphones and computers are increasingly powerful agents of distraction that make staying focused on tasks more difficult every day. Wherever you are, distraction is only a click away. Social media, email, and text messages beckon night and day. If you don’t respond immediately, you might hurt someone’s feelings or miss out on something cool. No previous generation had to deal with the powerful distractions of the digital age.
Much of the help and advice given to procrastinators is about how you can organize yourself to meet deadlines, with lots of rules to follow. Time management is indeed important; I have a whole chapter devoted to it later in the book. However, to solve your procrastination problem at the core, it’s more important to understand the person who is managing that time—you.
Your sensibility, your temperament, your values and motivations do not fit neatly into a one-size-fits-all definition of the procrastinator. Neither you nor the problem of procrastination is that simple. To better identify how procrastination works with you, I have divided those of us with a tendency to put things off into four types, each with its own values, weaknesses, and strengths, as well as reasons for procrastinating.
Are you the perfectionist, who has to get things right; the warrior, who must feel fully engaged; the pleaser, who must keep everyone happy; or the rebel, who resists doing what others ask or assign? Don’t be too quick to answer. There’s a little of each type in all of us.
Whether you are one pure type or a hybrid of two or more, you’ll want to know more about them all. In the next few chapters we’ll explore the worlds of the perfectionist, the warrior, the pleaser, and the rebel, discovering the unique vulnerability of each to procrastination, as well as the hidden superpower each can tap into to master challenging tasks.
If you want to improve your ability to get things done—not to please your parents, teachers, and friends, but to better meet your personal goals in life—this book is for you. I’ll show you how to master not only your to-dos, but also your life!
