The Powerful Effects of Prayer and How to Do It
A sound mind in a sound body, is a short, but full description of a happy state in this world: he that has these two, has little more to wish for; and he that wants either of them, will be little the better for anything else.
John Locke
Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2
Sometimes when my husband, Brian, and I (Jennifer) are talking with another person or another couple, I notice that he and I have a tendency to say the same thing, in the same way, at the same time. For example, if someone is telling a story, we often interject an “uh-huh” at the same time or react with the same phrase when the story is over. As scary as that may sound, it is completely natural. When you spend as much time with another person as we spend together, you begin to pick up their words, their phrasing, and even their tonality. Early on in a close relationship, you may find yourself using words you have never used before simply because the person you have been spending so much time with uses them. They get in your ear, and it doesn’t take long to start adopting them as your own.
This reality goes a long way toward proving the old idiom: “You are the same today as you’ll be in five years except for two things—the people you associate with and the books you read.” What you allow into your mind is critical to your ongoing health and well-being. You become like the people you spend the most time with. The people you talk to the most influence what you say when you talk to yourself and to others. So you should be extremely choosy about the people your most frequent conversations are with. Those conversations—whether they are with a spouse, a close friend, or a coworker—will greatly influence the direction of your life over time.
Given the weight of this truth, here is an idea to consider: What if the person you talked to the most was God? What if, as you moved through your day, you were engaged in an ongoing dialogue with him? Not in a weird, kneel-down-in-the-lunch-line kind of way but rather in simple, quiet thoughts directed toward him and an intentional focus on hearing what he might want to say to you in return. Or to put it another way, what if you engaged in ongoing prayer? Those conversations with God would begin to shape the way you think, the way you speak to yourself, and the way you approach your life.
Prayer is key for your ongoing mental clarity and strength. It renews your mind and allows God to change the way you see the world. And the good news is that prayer isn’t complicated. Prayer is simply talking with God, telling him what is going on with you and being quiet long enough to hear from him. When you make spending time in communication with God a habit, his truth will begin to saturate your mind. Your thinking will shift so it is more in line with his. The time you spend with him will begin to have an effect on you, just as any ongoing influence does. And what better influence to be affected by? Prayer really works; it not only changes circumstances but also changes you—physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
A well-renowned cardiologist at Duke University Medical Center once became intrigued by the notion of prayer’s ability to alter outcomes and decided to do an experiment on his heart patients. He set out, asking the question, Is there a measurable, incremental benefit to prayer? After the experiment ended, the doctor provided his conclusion on an interview with the Discovery Channel:
We saw impressive reductions in all of the negative outcomes of heart patients. . . . What we look for routinely in cardiology trials are outcomes such as death, heart attack, or lungs filling with water—what we call congestive heart failure. . . . In the group randomly assigned prayer therapy, there was 50 percent reduction in all complications and a 100 percent reduction in major complications.1
In an unrelated study, a physician at the Pacific College of Medicine in San Francisco set out to test the effect of prayer on advanced AIDS patients. Her findings were similar. She discovered that the patients who received prayer had six times fewer hospitalizations than the people who received no prayer, and those hospitalizations were significantly shorter. She said in an interview, “I was shocked. In a way, it was like witnessing a miracle. There is no way to understand this from my experience, from my basic understanding of science.”2
When asked to comment on this and other similar medical studies, the late Chuck Colson, a prominent Christian observer of culture, said, “Such studies have plenty of critics, but the new research has left many scratching their heads. Is prayer something that can be put under a microscope and examined? Probably not. But one thing is for sure, prayer works and prayer is real.”3
Though science will likely never be able to define exactly what happens in our conversations with God, one thing is for sure: they have significant effects on our health and well-being.
Communicating with God
Stop and think about the incredible privilege of prayer for a minute. You have the ability to communicate with God—the author of the world, your Creator—whenever and wherever you want. You don’t have to know a secret code, use any particular phrasing, or go through a priest. You can talk with God anytime. He is ready and willing to engage in conversation with you. In fact, he wants you to make talking to him a regular part of your day. As Paul wrote, “Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart” (Col. 4:2).
When you immerse yourself in conversation with God, you do three things that act as catalysts for aligning your mind with his. When you talk to God, you
Acknowledge His Existence
When you pray, you demonstrate your belief in God’s existence. Ninety percent of Americans say they believe God is real. Out of the 90 percent, over 50 percent pray on a regular basis.4 That 50 percent is proving what they say they believe. To them, God isn’t just a concept or a question mark. He is an actual being they can engage with. Their actions give credence to their belief and acknowledge the tangible existence of God himself.
Interestingly, the 10 percent who say they don’t believe in God help to prove his existence just as powerfully as those who engage in regular prayer. While they may spend decades in debates trying to disprove the existence of a higher power (atheists) or contending that there is no way to know if there is a God (agnostics), self-proclaimed nonbelievers are quick to pray to the one they disavow when tragedy strikes. As the old saying goes, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” When the temporal is in turmoil, something inside every human being cries out for the eternal. We are wired for a connection with our Creator. It is crucial to our well-being.
Connect with Him on a Deeper Level
Your relationship with God, if you are a Christian, is a bit like your relationship with your spouse, if you are married. On your wedding day, you stood in front of your family and friends and made a lifelong commitment to the person you love. You and your husband or wife to be recited vows, pledging to honor and cherish each other, had some cake, and then set out on your new life together. But then what? Did you stop talking to each other after the wedding was over? Of course not. If you had, your marriage would have crumbled more quickly than that cake. Instead, you started engaging in an ongoing conversation that creates a healthy married life.
So it is with God. An initial connection with God happens when you submit your life to him, when you allow him to move into the core of your being and take control. But that connection is just the beginning. God wants to continually deepen the relationship as you choose to engage him in conversation through daily prayer. Your prayers have the ability to move you into his presence and to put you in a position to hear what he wants to say to you.
Demonstrate Your Dependence on Him
I (Nelson) have an engineer friend who, as part of his job, regularly oversees the development of large residential buildings in different parts of the country. Every time he starts a new project, he spends an incredible amount of time with the architect who designed the building. They go over plans and blueprints together ad nauseam. There is no way my friend would begin a new building project without being crystal clear on what the designer had in mind. That would be crazy. If he failed to follow the blueprints of the person with the complete vision for the job, disaster would be right around the corner.
Even so, that is how millions of people go about building their lives. They forge ahead with what they think is in their best interest, neglecting to consult the One who has the blueprint. But there is no reason to barrel ahead blindly. By choosing to communicate with God every day, you place yourself in a position where he can show you the best possible plan for your life and give you what you need to live it out.
Let me be clear, though. Prayer is not ultimately about God being available to you. It is about you being available to God. It is about letting him know that you are ready and willing for him to shape your life. As you admit your dependence on him and acknowledge that his plan is bigger and better than your own, you open the door for him to work in your life. Some of the most powerful, most life-transforming words you can ever speak are, “God, I need you. Please show me the path you want me to walk.” God won’t force himself on you, but if you will engage in the conversation, he will be sure to carry his end of it.
Something to Talk About
Don’t you hate it when you are trying to talk to someone but you don’t really have anything to say? Or when you stumble into one of those awkward lulls in the conversation so big it could swallow a house? Some people never have that problem, but those of you who are a little more introverted can probably relate.
Many people admit that this is their hang-up with talking to God—they just don’t know where to begin. A loss for words with God stems from an incorrect view of who he is and what he expects from us. We become stagnated when we feel as if we need to impress him or feel that we can’t be ourselves—but neither of those things should apply to our conversations with the One who created us. He already knows everything about us, so there is no reason to approach him with anything other than complete transparency.
While teaching a group of disciples how to pray, Jesus emphasized that we don’t have to approach God with anything other than who we are. God doesn’t want us to go to him putting on airs, using high, theological language and trying to talk about things we aren’t really interested in. He is simply looking for an earnest conversation. Matthew 6:5–6 says:
When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.
God wants you to approach him simply. Once you realize that, you can get down to the business of being yourself and having open, honest conversations with him about the things that are bothering you, the things you need help with, the things you need to hand over to him, and the list goes on. The more you talk to God and place your dependence on him, the healthier your mind will become.
See if you can relate to this scenario. It is five minutes before a big presentation, an important conversation, or a major event, and you find yourself praying, “Oh, God, please be with me here. This is such a big deal, and it really needs to go well. If you could just supernaturally intervene right now, I would be grateful.” Then as an afterthought, you say, “Oh, and help those who need you around the world, and be with my brother while he travels. Amen.” Does that kind of prayer resonate?
If you tend to pray selfish prayers, you are not alone. We all like to talk about ourselves to God—what we want, what we need, what we think he can do to help us. And here is the good news: God is okay with those kinds of prayers. David wrote, “In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul” (Ps. 138:3 NKJV).
God wants you to go to him with every need, no matter how large or small. He will answer you. He will calm your mind. He will give you comfort and peace. Now, if every one of your prayers sounded like the one above, that wouldn’t be good, but there is nothing wrong with praying for yourself. As you do, make sure you pray confidently, boldly, humbly, and faithfully.
Pray Confidently
God is for you. He loves you and wants to give you good things. He wants your life to have maximum impact and fulfillment. When you pray, pray with the confidence that comes along with that reality. Don’t expect anything less than God’s best. Know that your prayers will be heard and answered because you are his child. Look at what Jesus said:
You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (Matt. 7:9–11)
Good parents build their children up and encourage them. They focus on their children’s strengths rather than their faults and do their best to provide them with everything they need.
In the same way, when God looks at you, he is not fixated on your flaws or focused on your deficiencies. Rather, he is proud of you, fiercely protective of you, and focused on helping you live the abundant life he has in store. Why? Simply because he is your heavenly Father and you are his child. When you are walking in that truth, you can approach God with renewed confidence, knowing that he is for you and working everything together for your good.
Pray Boldly
Too many of us are inclined to pray meek, tentative prayers. We figure that what we have to say probably isn’t important enough to bother God with; we assume he has more pressing issues at hand. But the Bible tells us over and over again that if we are followers of Jesus, we should pray boldly, expecting God to answer us. Jesus said it this way: “You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it” (John 14:13).
Have you ever wondered why you have to ask God for the things you need? After all, if he knows everything about you, he already knows what you need. Why does he make you go through the process of asking? Just think about it: If God gave you everything you wanted or needed before you even asked, how would you know that the good things in your life were coming from him?
Often, when people stop talking with God regularly, they begin to see the circumstances in their lives that are actually blessings from God as random chance or luck. Sometimes they begin to take credit for the good they are experiencing; they miss the evidence of God’s hand because they weren’t talking to him about their needs and wants on the front end. But when you ask God for something specific and then that specific thing comes to pass, you know beyond the shadow of a doubt where it came from. God will get the glory, praise, and credit he deserves.
Praying boldly is simply praying with the aforementioned confidence that God hears your prayers and wants to bless you. Bold prayers garner big responses. As Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it” (Matt. 21:21–22). Faith and doubt cannot coexist. So pray boldly for the job you are applying for. Pray boldly for the child you want to come into your marriage. Pray boldly for healing in the health situation you are dealing with. Pray boldly that God will bless you in the areas where you need blessing. No matter the situation or what you are praying for, use bold words. God will hear them and answer you accordingly.
Pray Humbly
At first glance, you may consider it contradictory to approach God with confident boldness and with humility at the same time, but there is no contradiction at all. Being humble before God simply means acknowledging that God is God and you are not. When you talk to him, use bold and confident words, but do so from a place of humility that shows you submit to his ultimate will.
When a child comes to a parent and asks for something that isn’t in their best interest, a loving parent says no, even if the child asks with confidence and boldness. The same is true with God. If you are praying for something that is outside his will for your life, he won’t answer in the way you expect. With humility, trust that he knows more than you do; he sees farther than you can see.
Bold, confident prayers don’t force God to do anything. They usher in his blessing when they are in line with his will for your life, but they don’t manipulate him into giving you something that is out of alignment with his ultimate goals for you. The greater purpose of talking with God through prayer is to line up your wants and needs with his will and desires—to have your thoughts renewed by aligning them with his.
Pray Faithfully
You cannot approach God with the confidence, boldness, and humility he desires if your conversations with him aren’t rooted in a foundation of faith. He has promised to hear and answer the prayers of those who have placed their trust in him, but he has not promised the same to those yet to profess their belief. Sometimes he will answer the prayer of an unbeliever for one of two reasons: (1) to bring glory to himself or (2) to help move that person toward a relationship with him—but he makes no promises to answer. There is one prayer, however, that God will always answer. That is the earnest prayer of someone choosing to put their faith in him for the first time. For more about stepping into a faith relationship with God, go to NewYouBook.com.
Praying for Others
While connecting with God about what is going on in our lives is crucial to our continued mental well-being, talking to him about others is also key. Since so many of our worries and frustrations involve other people, we can find relief by praying for and about our family members, friends, coworkers, and anyone else who may be weighing heavily on our minds. Here are a few reasons why praying for other people is important:
But what, specifically, should you pray for when you pray for other people? There are two types of prayers for others that should be on your lips often—one comes very naturally, while the other takes more perspective and intentionality. When you pray for the people in your life, focus on praying for safety and significance.
Praying for Others’ Safety
Concern over the day-to-day safety and well-being of family and friends is natural for most of us. Still, when it comes to praying that your mother has a safe flight or that your friend’s doctor’s appointment goes well, you may be likely to think that God is too busy to be concerned, which can lead you to stop praying and simply hold your breath. Remember, God is never too busy to hear your cries to him, no matter how big or small they may seem. He is concerned with what concerns you, which means he is more than willing to hear and answer prayers about the safety of those you love. Handing those concerns over to him and trusting him for your loved ones’ safety will allow you to let go of worry.
What does praying for safety look like, practically speaking? First of all, you should pray for overall protection for your loved ones. Then you can pray specifically for what is going on with each one. When you pray specific prayers, you will be able to see God answer those prayers and can celebrate accordingly. Maybe you pray for safe travels for a friend taking a long trip; maybe you pray protection over a family member who is dealing with a chronic health issue; perhaps your prayer is for a smooth recovery for someone you care about who has been sick or for your child’s safety as they play competitive sports. Whatever safety issues you are concerned about, take them to God—and then leave them with him.
Praying for Others’ Significance
Moving things up a notch, you should also pray for significance for the people you love. That is, you should pray that their lives will be filled with substance and meaning, that they will make a difference in the world, that God’s purposes will be done through them.
If you study prayer in Scripture, you will see that most prayers are more along these lines than they are focused on immediate concerns. In fact, Paul prayed some of the most powerful prayers of significance for others ever recorded. Take a look at this prayer for the believers in a town called Ephesus:
I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. (Eph. 1:16–20)
What a prayer! Can you imagine what would happen in the lives of those around you if you were praying that kind of prayer over them every day? What would happen in your life if people were praying such a prayer over you? The details of everyday life often keep us so caught up in the mundane that we forget that we have access to the incredible resurrection power of Jesus within us.
Even as we pray for safe road trips and effective medical treatments, let’s not neglect to pray for “spiritual wisdom and insight” and that the hearts of those we love will be “flooded with light so that they can understand the confident hope God has given them.” Pray for your loved ones to be renewed by God, to be used by God, and to do God’s will.
If you get into the practice of praying for safety and significance for the people you love, not only will you be making a tangible difference in their lives, but you will also begin seeing subtle shifts in how you interact with them. When you let your interactions with others grow out of your heartfelt conversations with God about them, your relationships will be strengthened and your family and friends will be influenced in ways you can only imagine.
As you enter conversations with God, take time to be still and listen to what he has to say. Resist the urge to do all the talking. Just as in any conversation, there has to be give-and-take. Overtalking is one of the most common ways we block our ability to hear from God. Too often, our prayers go something like this, “God, if you will just show me the path I should take, I will take it. You are so good, God. You have been good to me in the past. I want to honor you. Let me know what I should do next. I am ready to hear from you. Amen.” Then we get up, walk away, and question why God didn’t speak to us during our prayer time. You have to wonder if God is in heaven thinking, I would love to tell you my will for your life, but I can’t get a word in edgewise!
If only we could learn to listen better, we would have deeper conversations with God. As David wrote in Psalm 46, God wants us to “be still, and know that I am God!” (v. 10).
Being still in your conversations with God will allow you to get to know him more intimately, which has some practical benefits. Knowing God better will draw you deeper into the richness of life Jesus has promised—a life with more well-being, better health in every area, clearer purpose, and greater impact.