Sing Your Way to Happiness
One of my all-time favorite grocery checkout clerks works at a store near my house. I was in there one day when a customer came to her line and began throwing her groceries on the conveyer belt. This customer had “bah humbug” written all over her face as she grinched and grumbled.
I was so impressed with what I saw my clerk friend do. Rather than engage the customer in any way, my friend simply started to sing in a friendly, tasteful tone. I didn’t recognize the song, but it was peaceful, happy, and comforting.
At first, the grump looked at the clerk as if she were crazy. This scrooge was so uptight that even this benign gesture seemed to bug her. But after a few minutes the customer began to visibly relax. She became much friendlier and seemed to let down her guard. If I’m not mistaken, I even saw her smile.
There’s a big difference between a humbug, and a hum-bug. I’ve noticed that people who let a little melody into their lives can change grinches into good guys.
When we remain calm and happy in the presence of those who are definitely not, our positive energy rubs off on them. It’s a fact of life, just like static electricity. Singing ushers in that atmosphere of calm and happiness. It’s sort of like playing the banjo: it’s hard to be depressed while you’re doing it. Think of the way Maria’s singing calms the kids during a rainstorm in The Sound of Music—or the way the Whos down in Who-ville ultimately touch the Grinch’s heart with their singing.
The next time you’re face to face with grumpy people, try something similar. Instead of joining them in their land of woe, subtly invite them into a sunnier climate. Present yourself as a person who is content and likes life. Smiling to yourself and humming a tune are two ways to do this. (Babies seem able to comfort and amuse themselves this way for hours.)
I asked my clerk friend if she often sang in the presence of a difficult person, and she said that she did. She said it really helped keep her immune from the effects of their negativity. Even if you aren’t in the best of moods yourself, acting as if you are—whether by smiling or singing or simply making a conscious effort to unfurrow your brow—can help you get there.
I tried something similar the other day. I was talking to a very aggressive man who seemed to be very angry at the world. I began to smile and hum one of my favorite songs. Much to my surprise, my humming had the almost identical result often obtained by my clerk friend. The angry man became noticeably calmer and much more pleasant. I don’t think he had the slightest idea why he was having a change of heart, but I’m certain that my own good feeling was rubbing off on him somehow. If a bad mood can rub off on others, why not a good one?
Give a little whistle or hum a tune this holiday season. At worst, people will think you’re crazy and leave you alone. At best, you’ll brighten somebody’s day.