Chapter 4
A DIFFERENT WAY TO GET DRESSED
I wear my sort of clothes to save me the trouble of deciding which clothes to wear.
—Katharine Hepburn
If you are hoping to refresh your look and reduce your stress level, now is the time to roll up your sleeves. I have four important goals in this chapter. I want to help you…
1. Learn why having a signature style (or personal brand or fashion uniform) could be right for you. Then figure out what yours looks like.
2. Become convinced that repeating outfits is not only okay—it can be the key to sanity and style.
3. Create a well-edited Capsule Wardrobe and look better with fewer clothes.
4. Break out of a rut if your current uniform is holding you back.
What’s the first clue in solving the mystery of what to wear? Knowing who you are. Personally, I tend to look at tempting new trends or potential outfits through the lens of Me or Not Me? I have a pretty clear sense of my signature style. I call it Minimalist Glam. I love clean silhouettes in bold colors, prints, and fabrics. I have never met a leopard-print, hot-pink, or sparkly item I didn’t want to take home. But I balance those out with crisp classics like oxford shirts and slim-fit pants. I’m also obsessed with high heels. (For me, sneakers are for the gym or for running from a dog.) Since I know my style so well, I’m more easily able to avoid looks that don’t suit my vibe. If I were to diagnose my Fashion Psychology behaviors using the concepts introduced in chapter 2, I’d say I’m all about Focal Accessories and Mood-Based Dressing.
So I know what I like, but of course I still make mistakes! You know that trend of wearing satin pajamas out in public but dressing them up with fancy accessories like heels and jewelry? Oh, I went there. I wore pajamas outside my apartment and felt ridiculous. I had to come home in the middle of the day to change. That look was officially not me. But a leopard cape? Hell, yeah, that’s me. As far as I’m concerned, leopard is a neutral; it goes with everything. When I wear animal prints, I feel elegant, fierce, sleek—almost like I’m embodying the characteristics of the animal itself. I move faster. And capes are an easy way to add drama to a monochromatic foundation (all-black tank top + leggings + heels + leopard cape = amazing). Fuchsia power suit? Me x 3. It’s figure-flattering, mood-brightening, and unexpected. Bring it on. Trendy Dad Sneakers? Hard pass. I just don’t feel as confident when I’m flat-footed. When I’m up on my tippy toes in heels, I feel balletic, poised, and graceful.
Now your style might be the opposite of mine. You may love flowy linen neutrals and flat sandals or athleisure and hype-beast kicks. But no matter what you’re into, having a clearly defined style makes it easier to sidestep any clothes that are likely to make you uncomfortable. It’s a saving grace when you shop.
I also shamelessly repeat my outfits. I dip in and out of uniform dressing depending on what is going on in my life. Whenever I travel, I have a go-to airport uniform. It’s a black sweater, black skinny trousers, and black high heels. I find it helps me blend in no matter what country I’m in, no matter how casual or formal the setting, whether the local style customs are modest or anything goes. This uniform seriously reduces my travel stress. Lately I have been deluged with professional obligations, and I have spent a lot of time working from home. So I have already worn the same all-black leggings and cardigan combo for several days this week. I am so taxed emotionally, I do not want to expend any extra energy selecting an outfit. Instead, I’ve opted to focus my mental resources elsewhere—on my professional productivity.
I’m hardly the first person to embrace this approach. Apple founder Steve Jobs, in his trademark black turtleneck and jeans, was the original poster child for Repetitious Wardrobe Complex. His look became synonymous with his brand and offered a new model for what Silicon Valley visionaries could wear. (His turtleneck was so strongly associated with tech innovation it was cunningly mimicked by the now scandalized Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes.) According to his biographer Walter Isaacson, Jobs “came to like the idea of having a uniform for himself, because of both its daily convenience… and its ability to convey a signature style.”1 President Obama also saw the advantage of wearing the same thing over and over while in the Oval Office. “You’ll see I wear only gray or blue suits,” he once told Vanity Fair. “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.”2 During a public Q&A, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg echoed this explanation for his unchanging daily uniform: “I really want to clear my life to make it so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community.”3 Dr. Dre reportedly wears Nike Air Force 1s every day for the same reason—to minimize distraction and maximize productivity.4
But it’s not just men who have mastered style uniforms. In fact, when women do it, there is often an art to the practice we can all be inspired by. Gayle King, Kate Middleton, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Elizabeth Warren, Angelina Jolie, and Victoria Beckham (to name a few) are all faithful to instantly recognizable visual aesthetics. So what are the advantages of committing to one look (or to one specific range of similar looks)? For one thing, it’s good for your brand. For another, it’s great for your brain.
We may think picking out our clothes is no big deal, but when we’re mindful about it, it actually requires a lot from us. It is estimated that the average adult makes roughly 35,000 decisions per day, and research shows that our cognitive capacities get depleted with each one.5 Bypassing the decision about what to wear reduces your chances of burnout by taking something significant off your plate. Experts tell us we have limited bandwidth for willpower or self-control—that our ability to make clearheaded, satisfying choices is a finite resource. Think of your mental energy and emotional reserves almost like a battery that runs down, or a tank of gas that gets used up over time. Having a uniform is simply good fuel efficiency. “The most successful people… conserve willpower by developing effective habits and routines in school and at work so that they reduce the amount of stress in their lives,” writes John Tierney, co-author of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, in an article for the New York Times.6 Having a consistent fashion uniform is the definition of a stress-reducing habit or routine.
If you are shopping or getting dressed without any sort of guideline or system in place, you are far likelier to become overwhelmed. When you walk into a store, open up a shopping site, or confront your overstuffed closet, your heart rate may increase with anticipation and excitement. But soon your emotions veer between extremes. You initially feel like you want to buy the whole damn store (euphoria), but within minutes, you want to run screaming from it (Decision Fatigue). You may try on ten different outfits, then, when nothing lives up to your ideals, feel crushed. There are distinct psychological processes at play during these scenarios. “Having too many options causes a sort of paralysis in the decision-making process, which leads to avoidance behavior—i.e., choosing to do nothing at all,” writes consumer behavior analyst Dr. Liraz Margalit in Psychology Today. “In the instances when a choice is made under these conditions, it is usually accompanied by frustration.”7 This explains why, after finally throwing together a look because you have run out of time and you must leave for work, you walk out the door dissatisfied. It’s the same with buyer’s remorse. You were forced to override your impulse toward avoidance, and therefore the purchase you did make just doesn’t feel right.
So what’s the solution to all this angst? FEWER OPTIONS.
Psychologically speaking, when you are faced with fewer choices, you are likelier to believe you’ve chosen correctly. The inverse is also true: When you have too many options, you would rather avoid selecting something to wear because it is less likely to be the right choice. It’s simple math or probability, Margalit explains. If you have two choices, you have a 50 percent chance of picking the “right” one. If you have ten choices, you have only a 10 percent chance of picking the “right” one.
So how do you get to fewer options? By editing your closet down to just the items you genuinely love. But starting can be daunting. How do you know that—after getting rid of a big pile of your clothes representing money, memories, and time—you’ll be happy with what’s left? That’s where I come in. I’m going to help you figure out what you love to wear by helping you identify your ideal look. Then you’re going to keep—and actually wear—all the items from your closet that fit within that framework. These are the building blocks of your style uniform: a remixable rotation of killer pieces you can turn to anytime you wish to remove uncertainty from your routine. Not only will this lead to calmer mornings, but it will also present a cohesive message about who you are to others, which in turn promotes personal power. An incoherent sense of style muddies your messaging and dilutes your personal brand. As Vera Wang told the Harvard Business Review: “Fashionable is what’s new. But you have to move within your own space… If you’re going to jump from a turquoise bikini with feathers to a Savile Row tweed suit to a ball gown with flowers all over it to being 90 percent see-through, then you can never build a brand, because who are you?”8
A closet featuring only the effortless essentials you love—a limited number of key items that can be mixed and matched in myriad ways to create a variety of outfits—is also called a Capsule Wardrobe. (Learn how to build one here.) I’ve got one and I’m happier for it. Not only do I know who I am and what my signature style looks like, but I also know exactly what I own. When I look at my closet or even think about its contents from afar, I know precisely what’s in there for me to work with, minimizing my anxiety. There are no forgotten items hiding in piles, shoved in corners, or (gasp!) sitting in unopened shipping boxes from emotion-fueled late-night online shopping sprees. To me, there is nothing worse than discovering something I spent money on but forgot to wear. My biggest motivator? I don’t like to feel stressed about my clothes. I have too much going on already.
And here’s the very best thing about having a limited quantity of clothes to begin with. When certain items are at the dry cleaner or in the laundry hamper, I am forced to work with what’s left—i.e., I have even fewer options. This has challenged me to get creative and inspired me to put together some of my most successful looks yet, in terms of both how I felt wearing them and how others reacted to me when I did. Cutting down my closet’s contents has left me no choice but to maximize the potential of every item I own, resulting in some of my most exciting outfits ever.
I’ll give you an example. Recently I was invited to a fashion show and gala at FIT—the most prestigious and glamorous event of the year for the fashion school. I was thinking of calling one of my favorite designers and asking to borrow a dress but instead decided to try to work with what I already owned. As luck would have it, my go-to party dress was dirty, and, being a minimalist, I didn’t have a slew of suitable backups. On the day of the event, I assessed my mood. I felt like Beyoncé! I was really feeling myself. I decided to illustrate that mood and go for a fashion-forward look. So I got inventive. I paired a leopard-print blouse from Express that I typically wear to work with a purple floral ball gown skirt by Akira that I had originally intended to wear (boho-style) with a white t-shirt on weekends. My leopard-print heels (by Aldo) and my metallic clutch (from a neighborhood boutique) finished off the look. The whole outfit cost less than $300, head to toe. Let me tell you, the scene at this party was intimidating. There was a red carpet, a crowd of photographers, executives from brands like Tommy Hilfiger; people were wearing red-bottom shoes, you guys. But guess what? Not only did I feel like I fit in, I felt like I stood out (in a good way!). My unexpected mix of prints really popped, and the dramatic length of the skirt made the whole look super eye-catching. I felt incredible! And compliments from my fellow guests, as well as the photographers, enhanced this feeling. One attendee even asked me, “Are you sure you’re a professor? You really look like you belong in this industry!”
Here’s what I reaffirmed that night. You do not need an excessive amount of clothing. The goal is to own one or two of the same type of item, max. Think of it this way: If you have five pairs of black pants, you’ll probably end up wearing only one or two of them regularly. But if you have only one pair of black pants, and those are in the laundry pile, you will have no choice but to move on and find something else to wear. This is how you force yourself to break out of style ruts. Now, this doesn’t mean that when your go-to black pants are dirty, you go out and buy something new. It means you take a second look at a different option you already own. You may surprise yourself—like I did—and find you love wearing a casual top with your formal skirt. But you never would have tried that fresh new combo if you had four extra pairs of black pants to fall back on.
HOW TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU LIKE TO WEAR
To get the most out of your clothes, it helps to have a Rolodex of outfit options. I encourage clients to put together a digital photo album or “catalog” of their favorite looks. This catalog will be available for you to scroll through and pick from when you wake up in the morning and assess your mood. No more starting from zero every day.
This is a time-honored industry trick. Professional stylists take Polaroids of outfit options on photo shoots, or pop them up on pegboards in a client’s closet. If you’re ever backstage at a fashion show, you’ll see a poster board of photos showing each model’s head-to-toe look displayed in the order in which they will come down the runway. The idea here is similar, but it involves deeper self-reflection, because it brings your emotions into the mix. Keeping a personalized outfit catalog will be your secret styling weapon when that “nothing to wear” feeling hits.
There are many ways to execute this plan: I love taking a selfie every time I feel fabulous in my outfit, then filing it away in a photo album on my phone. But you can also grab a pen and journal or use your phone’s Notes app and jot down a brief description of exactly what you’re wearing anytime your look is working. No matter how you document this information, you will want to keep a list/file of solid outfit options for future reference. You can even organize them by work looks, party looks, weekend looks, etc.
To help you get started, I have a little homework assignment. I call it “Next Time/Last Time.” Over the next few weeks, document the answers to these questions and begin to formally recognize the looks that make you feel your best. The goal? Revealing—and remembering—your most winning clothing combinations.
Fashion Psychology Exercise
NEXT TIME/LAST TIME
When was the last time you dressed up for a special occasion and really slayed?
The next time you get a wonderful compliment on what you’re wearing, or on your presence in general, document exactly what you have on, top to bottom, including accessories. Write down what the person said and how the compliment made you feel.
When was the last time you felt your best in an everyday situation (at work, hanging with your kids, running errands, grabbing coffee)? What exactly were you wearing? How did that outfit make you feel? How productive were you that day?
The next time you want to feel cozy and comfortable, write down what’s on your mind and exactly which clothes you reach for to soothe yourself.
When was the last time you bought a new item that you didn’t regret? Maybe it was an investment purchase you’ve worn a million times, or perhaps it was a basic item that elevated your everyday style. What made it work so well? Why did it deliver? Was it a certain color, fit, or fabric? Did it have a certain neckline, shape, or hem length?
The next time you are required to look polished and professional, write down what you decide to wear and why. What emotions and reactions are you hoping to elicit with your look? Later, when you get home and change, reflect on what about your outfit worked for you or why it didn’t.
THAT’S SO ON-BRAND: THE BENEFITS OF HAVING A STYLE UNIFORM
Picture a razor-sharp bob-and-bangs haircut and oversize sunglasses. Who do you think of immediately? Vogue’s Anna Wintour, of course. Next, envision a tracksuit, slicked-back bun, big hoop earrings, and high-heel boots. Who does that look conjure? Raise your hand if you said J.Lo! Next up: a gray bomber jacket, bodysuit, and bike shorts tucked into over-the-knee stiletto boots. It’s Yeezy-era Kim Kardashian. If I described an elegant woman in a buttery leather pencil skirt, silk button-down, and suede pointy-toe pumps, that would be oh-so on-brand for Meghan Markle. Certain public figures are so adept at sustaining a signature style, they have crossed over from celebrity to icon. And, naturally, icons have their own iconography. These women have successfully created personal brands—trademark looks that seem to express their very essence.
Let’s study them for a second. We notice that their style is consistent, yet not boxed in or boring. Jennifer Aniston almost exclusively wears black dresses on the red carpet, but each one is a little bit different in terms of fabric and design. Your goal is to pare down your clothing options while still leaving room for creativity and experimentation, along with the occasional infusion of a new and refreshing item. Your signature style is a blueprint and a road map, not an ironclad contract. Now, at this very moment you may be looking at your closet and seeing a mishmash of totally unrelated items. Floral summer dresses here, a black velvet blazer there, a what-were-you-thinking turquoise satin mullet dress you wore once to a wedding, and a pile of gray sweaters jump out. None go together, and none seem like “you.” Do not lose hope! You can find the diamonds in all that rough. Before you decide what to keep and what to cull, take this quiz to home in on a look that feels truest to you.
RETHINKING REPETITION
When you commit to a style uniform, you are vowing to wear the same types of clothes repeatedly. This can be challenging, given the social media pressure to post a new #OOTD… well… daily. But is coming up with a new look every single morning good for you or anyone else? In chapter 3 we discussed marketing gimmicks. An especially hot topic is the practice known as “greenwashing.” This happens when—against the backdrop of climate change—fashion lines present themselves as “sustainable” when in fact the issues are much more complex. Hey, it’s a beautiful thing when designers commit to ethical manufacturing and employment practices. According to industry documentary The True Cost, 85 percent of poorly paid workers pumping out fast fashion in countries like India and Bangladesh are women.9 And it’s fantastic when brands use less toxic materials; another devastating documentary, RiverBlue, exposes how noxious chemicals from textile factories and tanneries are being dumped directly into waterways in clothing production hubs in India, China, and elsewhere. These environmental atrocities are implicated in “cancer villages” and children losing their sense of smell. More than 8 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions are produced by the apparel and footwear industries, according to the New York Times.10 It’s not a good look.
To be clear, I’m not against shopping. But I am against buying stuff only because you are bored or sad. If you think about it, even the most eco-friendly brands contribute to a glut of apparel clogging our closets at best, and the landfill or incinerator at worst. According to The Atlantic, the average American buys sixty-six garments a year. And each of us also throws away nearly eighty pounds of clothes and textiles annually.11 The public was shocked in 2018 when Burberry admitted to burning 28.6 million pounds of clothing and cosmetics (worth about $37 million) to “preserve brand value” by preventing those items from being sold at a discount. (They’ve since vowed to cease and desist.)12 As popular fashion influencer Bryanboy tweeted: “I’m gonna jump off a bridge head first if I hear about yet another ‘sustainable’ clothing line. There’s nothing sustainable about creating something new en masse. Just stop. Please. You wanna know what’s sustainable? Wearing your old damn clothes, that’s what. Bye.”13
Wearing stuff you already own—and hopping off the fast-fashion trend treadmill—not only has a positive impact on the world at large; it can vastly improve your life. The key is liking what you already own enough to re-wear it. Maybe that means identifying colors, cuts, prints, and fabrics that make you feel your best, like we did in the Next Time/ Last Time exercise. Perhaps it means remixing items in unexpected new ways. (Here’s an idea: You know that paper-thin concert tee you wear to bed? Wear it with your pencil skirt and heels instead of with jeans and sneakers.) It definitely means editing out ALL the stuff that makes you feel “meh.” And it means having the confidence to show up to a party or the office in something your friends and colleagues have seen you wear before—many times before.
REPEATS AT WORK
I’ll pause here for a second. As much as I’m an advocate, I want to get real with you about the repercussions of repeating your outfits in a professional context. As we’ve just established, successful people minimize their stress by eliminating Decision Fatigue, and for men that may literally mean wearing a slight variation on the same exact thing every single day. But can you imagine if a woman in your workplace did that? Being able to regularly repeat nearly identical outfits must be acknowledged as a privilege. It is far trickier for women and people of color to wear the same daily look, or to adopt the hoodie-heavy laissez-faire uniform of a Silicon Valley wunderkind. Recently, when Goldman Sachs officially relaxed its corporate dress code, NBC News reached out to me for a reaction and commentary. Here’s what I told them: If a woman or a minority working at Goldman Sachs (or in some other similarly high-stakes corporate environment) were to show up at the office or to a client meeting wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and gray Nikes (Mark Zuckerberg’s fashion uniform)—or even in a non-European hairstyle—she would likely be met with unspoken bias and her career might suffer for it. If she were to wear that look every single day without deviation, she would most certainly be seen as eccentric or quirky at best. The expectation for some professionals is just completely different. So the relaxing of dress codes and the new acceptance of outfit repeats may not really benefit everyone, since not everyone is truly held to the same standard, no matter what the updated employee handbook says.
Looking great at work matters because—to be blunt—it tells people how smart and capable you are, which has a direct effect on how much you get promoted and paid. Competence. Power. Intelligence. Character. Sociability. I am not merely listing the attributes any employer would want in a new hire or rising star. These are the precise qualities our clothes convey, according to research by fashion scholar Mary Lynn Damhorst. She looked at 109 studies about clothing and social perception conducted over the course of forty years and published her findings in a paper called “In Search of a Common Thread: Classification of Information Communicated through Dress.”14 Our clothes, she concluded, telegraph our ability to get the job done. People determine our aptitude first by looking at what we are wearing—before we ever utter a word. A different study also published in the Clothing and Textiles Research Journal found that, in a classroom setting, teachers and students both assumed that female students who (for the purpose of the experiment) wore shorts and t-shirts were of lower intelligence and scholastic ability than their peers who were asked by researchers to dress in suits.15 So you see, looking polished and professional at work is not just a choice; it’s a necessity. One way to do it without depleting your paycheck or emotional reservoir is to create a well-edited closet.
To change your approach to getting dressed, you have to change the way you think. Many of us have internalized the biases I just mentioned. We worry that repeating our outfits makes us look weak, uncreative, unhygienic, or lazy. Reporting on fashion in the workplace, Thrive Global revealed that “49 percent of women have felt self-conscious about repeating outfits at work.” By contrast, wrote founder Arianna Huffington, repeats are “a great way to begin to close the style gap, affording women the same freedom (in the form of time and money and thought) that men have in putting together their outfits for the day.”16 Tiffany Haddish famously wore the same $4,000 Alexander McQueen gown to host SNL… and to present at the Oscars… and throughout her Girls Trip red carpet tour… and more recently to sit down with David Letterman. As she declared in her SNL monologue, “I feel like I should be able to wear what I want, when I want, however many times as I want, as long as I Febrezed it.”17 Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle make headlines every time they “recycle” a dress, because seeing a celebrity in the same outfit twice is downright groundbreaking. It didn’t used to be this way and it doesn’t need to stay this way. Princess Diana repeated her looks, you guys. Keira Knightley wore her own damn wedding dress on the red carpet. Twice. If royalty (Hollywood and otherwise) can push back against this ridiculous stigma around repeats, then so can we.
RITUAL OR RUT?
Now, I don’t need to tell you that human beings are complex creatures. Up to this point I’ve been praising repetition to the rafters. And in general, I do believe it’s a key ingredient for a less anxious life. But there are some cases when repeating your looks doesn’t reduce worries—it’s a symptom of them. I’d like to draw the distinction between healthy repetition and harmful style ruts. To help do so, I’ll introduce you to two clients who represent both sides of this coin.
For the past year or so I’ve been working with Lauren, a Cosmopolitan fashion editor in her twenties, who noticed she owned well over a dozen striped shirts.18 She wondered if her Repetitious Wardrobe Complex was something she should worry about or strive to change. After talking, we discovered it was the opposite: Stripes are a hallmark of her personal brand. Let’s listen in to understand how we parsed the distinction between comfort item and style-stifling crutch.
CASE STUDY: NEVER CHANGING HER STRIPES
Dawnn: When did you begin to notice your closet was full of striped shirts?
Lauren: I first noticed in middle school that it was a signature pattern I kept going back to. But I definitely wore striped clothes even earlier, like when I was a [little] kid. Lately, even my mom has started making comments that I need to stop buying striped clothes, because every time I see something with stripes, I don’t know what it is, I just need to buy it. Even though I know I already have so many other striped shirts in my closet.
Dawnn: When you wear something that is not striped, like a solid color, how do you feel?
Lauren: Well, earlier today I was wearing a plain white sweater. But I definitely feel at my most comfortable—I just like my outfit better—when I am wearing stripes as opposed to not wearing them. I’m drawn to them. I can wear them with more things, and they add some extra color to my outfit.
Dawnn: Since you’ve been gravitating toward this print since childhood, and it’s something you continually go back to, it seems like stripes hold some type of comfort for you. They’re almost like a security blanket or a home base when you’re playing tag; you can always return to them for safety. No matter what is going awry or if things are hectic in your world, stripes are ordered and stable. They don’t fluctuate. They’re always available in stores. They’re never going to go out of style. I suspect all of this is unconscious. Most people are not aware that they look to familiar patterns or styles for comfort and security.
Lauren: Definitely. I would say that is pretty spot-on.
Dawnn: When we are not feeling confident, it’s usually because our sense of security is shaken, right? Stripes are what grounds you, what centers you; they bring you back to who you are. Whether you’re in sixth grade, a grown-up editor… Whatever your role is—as a daughter, as a student, as a professional—stripes are your foundation, your security. They represent essentially who you are. Now you’re in the fashion world, where you actually have access to a plethora of clothing, but you still go back to this pattern, which is interesting, right? My impression is that someone who likes stripes may be good at multitasking, and may have a lot going on in her life. She’s someone who wears many hats, plays many roles, and is good at balancing it all. What stripes do is create some order if you are feeling overwhelmed, even if you are someone who works well under pressure.
Lauren: That definitely makes sense. But am I not being inventive with outfits if I keep going back to the same pattern? Even if it’s something comfortable for me and makes me feel my best, is it perceived as a weakness if I keep relying on the same pattern over and over again? Honestly, I have so many striped things that I haven’t even shared with you. I have striped shirts packed away for the summer, more stripes in a suitcase under my bed. It’s a lot.
Dawnn: Look, it’s only a problem if you can never, ever, ever wear anything but stripes. You’re actually using this pattern to empower yourself. I’m not going to advise you to do away with something that gives you confidence. That would be crazy. That would be like telling a guy not to wear a business suit to a job interview. Taking away something that makes you feel secure is not going to make you feel better. You look great in stripes! Now that you know what they do for you psychologically, I would actually encourage you to turn to them when they can be helpful. Say you’re stressed out or you had a terrible day. I would say, “Go home and wear those stripes! Just put ’em on.” There’s nothing wrong with finding comfort in our clothing. It’s like when you were a child and you had your favorite teddy bear or blankie. Well, as adults, we’re not allowed to have teddy bears and blankies; we can’t carry those things to work. But what do we have? Our clothing. Stripes offer security for you. Use that.
As a Fashion Psychologist, I do not see it as my role to tell Lauren, “Oh my God, you should not wear stripes anymore because your mom says you wear too many. And look, you’re wearing them five days a week.” That’s the makeover ideology from decades ago, when experts would put people in front of a 360-degree mirror and berate them, then the glam squad comes in and voilà, they walk out and don’t even recognize themselves. As I told Lauren, my job is to get to the root of why you wear what you wear. And then, if you want to introduce some new patterns, go for it. But my first goal was to empower her, and to highlight how stripes are working for her. I did, however, give Lauren some homework.
Style Rx
I asked Lauren, going forward for the rest of the week following our session, to assess how she feels when she wears stripes versus how she feels when she doesn’t, to draw some comparisons. I advised her to ask herself in the morning, before her feet hit the floor, Am I going to wear stripes today because I’m in this particular mood? Or, Am I not going to wear stripes today because I’m in this particular mood? Once she gets a clearer understanding of when she needs her stripes most, she can identify other days when she might feel emboldened to branch out.
To paraphrase Lauren’s question, is having a Repetitious Wardrobe Complex a good thing or a bad thing? Is wearing the same thing over and over solving a problem or creating one? Are your wardrobe choices consistent or compulsive, disciplined or disordered? “Paralysis in the decision-making process” (as Dr. Margalit put it) due to too many clothing choices may lead you to reach for the same tired old outfits over and over and over again. This is different from having a signature style or fashion uniform because it is a passive, defeated decision, not an active, empowered one.
As with any other habitual behavior, a lot comes down to how repetitious clothing choices are impacting your life. Are you able to stop wearing the same look repeatedly? Do you wear it every single day? Or is it merely a go-to that you lean on for a sense of security as needed? Are your looks a variation on a theme? Lauren has striped tops in many different styles and cuts, from polo shirts to bodysuits, and pairs them with a variety of bottoms, keeping her rotation looking fresh. Repetition is problematic only when it impedes your happiness, productivity, relationships, growth, or well-being. If wearing a tightly edited, remixable collection of clothes makes you happy, gives you confidence and control, cuts down on stress, and increases feelings of ease and efficiency, then uniform dressing is working for you. If, however, you are so entrenched in your routine that it stops you from doing things you want or need to do, then that’s a sign your uniform could be an impediment. Let’s meet the second “repeat offender” who struggled along these lines.
I’m really into self-affirmation, mindfulness, and meditation. I believe in rituals. They are one of the best anxiety-busters around, and they have been for millennia (see: religion). Repeated, ritualistic behaviors like my morning check-in, or your nightly skincare regimen, or a child’s bedtime routine “buffer against uncertainty by evoking a sense of personal control and orderliness,” writes psychologist and neuroscientist Dr. Nick Hobson in Psychology Today. Rituals create calm because they “trick the brain into thinking that it’s experiencing the pleasant state of predictability and stability.” The more regularly we perform our rituals, the more powerful they become. And it doesn’t take long: Research shows new habits may take root in as little as four days.20
For those who benefit from Repetitious Wardrobe Complex, there is freedom to be found in uniform dressing. If you often stand in front of your closet wishing a Hollywood stylist would just magically appear and tell you what to wear, you may love having a style system. But what does it feel like when repetition goes wrong? If the thought of wearing anything new or outside your comfort zone fills you with dread, that could be cause for concern. If you hesitate to attend a formal event such as a wedding or your spouse’s office holiday party because it would require you to dress up or modify your look, that’s a red flag. If you have been wearing the same clothes or styles over and over for years and feel locked in, if you fear something bad will happen if you change, that’s unhealthy. If you ignore shifting fashion norms entirely or otherwise disassociate from your physical self, then Repetitious Wardrobe Complex may be veering into disordered territory and should be addressed with a competent, experienced mental health professional.21
Those who are hurt by Repetitious Wardrobe Complex tend to see clothes as an inescapable burden; their role in your life takes on exaggerated significance. Redundant clothing and decision avoidance can be—but are certainly not necessarily—symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. In general, people with Repetitious Wardrobe Complex gravitate toward certain pieces of clothing because those items feel safe and familiar. This becomes a negative only if you feel stuck in a rut, like your clothes are holding you back from living life to the fullest. Remember: It’s only something good that bears repeating.
CURATION SENSATION: THE ART OF DOING MORE WITH LESS
As Vivienne Westwood has said, “Buy less, choose well, make it last. Quality not quantity.”22 Having a style uniform doesn’t make you boring. It makes you iconic. Coco Chanel had a uniform. So do Janelle Monáe, Reese Witherspoon, Erykah Badu, Tilda Swinton, and Kate Moss. Think of fashion designers like Carolina Herrera in her trademark white button-down and ball gown skirts, or Alexander Wang in his black t-shirt and leather pants. Uniforms work for those tastemakers, and yet they never look stale. Not surprisingly, designers who latch on to the idea of paring down our wardrobes and streamlining our lives are finding more commercial success than ever before. When Eileen Fisher, who famously created a “system” of clothes built on eight key pieces, first moved to New York, she was overwhelmed by trying to look the part of a fashion designer. “I was struggling to put myself together,” she told the New York Times. “I felt clothes were too complicated, especially women’s clothes, always changing. I just needed to look good, and I needed to not think too much about it.”23
Looking good without thinking too much about it. That, my friend, is living the dream. In 2013, a young corporate executive named Sarah LaFleur felt a frustration similar to Fisher’s. So she partnered with the former head designer of Zac Posen and created a line of expertly tailored mix-and-match boardroom basics. She based her brand, MM.LaFleur, on the notion that “for some women, buying clothes is just not a priority for one reason or another, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about good style or looking elegant.” She was onto something. MM.LaFleur grew a whopping 600 percent from 2014 to 2015.24 Clothing line Cuyana also skyrocketed from obscurity to household name with the tagline “Fewer, better things.” And the red-hot line AYR stands for All Year Round. Its philosophy? “We design season-less apparel for everyday life.” What have all these blockbuster brands capitalized on? Less is more.
As the poet Rumi reportedly wrote, “Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” This is a profound truth—and seriously great advice for editing your closet. Picture an uncluttered clothing rack showcasing just the following: a crisp white button-down, a striped boatneck top, a soft neutral turtleneck, a long cardigan, a skinny leopard belt, an LBD, a dark pair of jeans, a pair of flattering black trousers, a blazer, a trench coat, and a winter jacket of your choice (puffer, teddy bear, wool swing coat, etc.), chic flats, fierce heels, classic leather boots. Full stop.
There are two reasons this image seems so soothing:
1. Everything goes with everything else. All elements can be mixed and remixed in appealing ways. For example:
○ Cardigan + leopard belt at waist + black trousers + heels
○ White button-down tucked into black trousers + trench + ballet flats
2. Its finite possibilities. Having fewer clothes but loving the ones you do have is the key to calm. Less choice = less stress.
Fashion Psychology Tip
HOW TO BUILD A CAPSULE WARDROBE
The clothes you are left with after you edit out all the noise will be the building blocks of your “brand.” But don’t panic if, at the end of the editing process, you are faced with a problem. You may end up with way too many tops and hardly any pants. You may have kept all of your drop-dead-gorgeous formal dresses but have nothing left to wear on the weekends. If you find yourself in this situation, you may need to (temporarily) rescue a few items from the reject pile while you save money to fill in the holes. Or you may decide to revive those castoffs by mixing them with unexpected elements. If you do shop for a few updated items, remember: You are not dressing a new you. You are dressing you now.
The typical definition of a Capsule Wardrobe hinges on having a set number of items (I’ve seen the number thirty-six mentioned online) in a limited color palette so that everything goes together. To this I say, Oh hell no. You do not need to get that formulaic. But I do believe in the basic principle of creating lots of outfits out of only a few key pieces.
For me, building a successful Capsule Wardrobe means satisfying three basic requirements:
Versatile pieces: As I mentioned, I’m a big fan of layering. I make sure I have pieces that can be worn on their own as well as under/over each other. As long as a piece flatters me and expresses my personality, I don’t pay much attention to seasonality, since I can always add a camisole underneath or outerwear for warmth.
Low numbers: Personal style is subjective. The majority of my items pop, and then I have a smaller supply of all-black foundational basics (leggings, t-shirts, etc.). You may prefer a quieter color palette and subtler prints than I do. But no matter what you like, you simply don’t need to be drowning in clothes. It really is a numbers game. The goal is to own no more than two of the same type of individual item. Bear in mind that a long-sleeve black t-shirt is different from a short-sleeve black t-shirt. But unless they are a cornerstone of your uniform, you probably don’t need multiples of each.
Fulfill each category: The specific styles, cuts, fabrics, colors, and silhouettes you want to own depend on you: your body type, your professional dress code, your favorite icons, your preferences. It’s the categories that are universal. Everyone needs foundation elements (tops and bottoms), outerwear (sweaters, jackets, coats), special occasion clothes (dresses, skirts), and accessories (shoes, jewelry, belts, hats, etc.).
Consider your lifestyle. Someone who works from home may not need a ball gown skirt. Someone who works with kids may not need a huge selection of sexy party dresses and may prefer to invest in jeans. I love straight-leg trousers. You may love palazzo pants or high-waist flares. My number one goal for you is to redefine what it means to have “enough.” To bring this idea to life, let’s open up the doors to my closet so you can see exactly what—and how little—I actually own.
INSIDE MY CLOSET I HAVE…
Category 1: Foundation Elements
5 pairs of black leggings. They can be dressed up or down, worn as pajamas or workout gear. (Versatility.)
5 black t-shirts: 2 sleeveless, 2 short-sleeve, 1 long-sleeve. (Low numbers.)
1 black turtleneck. (Low numbers, versatility as it can be dressed up or down.)
3 pairs of skinny-fit straight-leg trousers in white, orange, and blue. Mine are by Massimo Dutti. (Seasonless and versatile.)
5 button-down blouses in various prints and colors: 1 leopard print, 1 pale orange to match the orange pants, 1 turquoise to match the blue pants, 1 white to match the white pants, and 1 hot pink. When I do the color-blocking trend, I pair the pink blouse with my orange trousers. (Seasonless and versatile.)
2 matching outfits: One is a floral-print blouse with matching pants by Ann Taylor. The other is a Versace-inspired paisley print in primary colors. All four of these elements (2 tops, 2 pairs of pants) can be worn separately or together. For a recent TV appearance, I put a white cape over the paisley outfit and accessorized with caramel-colored heels and a matching handbag. (Seasonless and versatile.)
1 pair of jeans. (Low numbers.)
Category 2: Special Occasion Clothes
1 floor-length ball gown skirt. Can be worn with a casual t-shirt or dressed up with a formal top and heels. (Low numbers, seasonless and versatile.)
5 body-con date-night dresses in various colors and fabrics. I love architectural necklines or off-the-shoulder styles. I’ll sometimes tuck a minidress into pants so that only the bodice shows, treating it like a bodysuit. Layering alert! (Versatile.)
1 colorful sparkly floor-length gown with a tie-front bodice from Zara. I might wear it with a long-sleeve tee over it, to create the illusion of a separate maxi skirt. (Layering, versatility.) It is fancy enough for a formal affair if worn with heels, but with a floppy straw hat, it works as a casual summer dress. (More versatility and seasonlessness.)
Category 3: Outerwear
2 dramatic capes: 1 white, 1 leopard. (Low numbers, layering.)
1 black poncho sweater to transition between seasons, to wear for comfort. (Versatility, layering.)
1 black-and-gold brocade robe. It adds elegance to an all-black foundation of leggings and a t-shirt. (Layering.)
1 denim jacket to wear on its own or to pair with jeans for the denim-on-denim “Canadian tuxedo” look. (Versatility, low numbers.)
Category 4: Accessories
1 pair of black block-heel sandals for warm weather or formal evenings
3 pairs of pumps: 1 black, 1 gold, 1 caramel
3 funky pairs: leopard-print heels, strappy sandals with pom-pom embellishments, 1 pair of rhinestone heels for weddings. All by Aldo.
I also own a small collection of delicate jewelry, belts, investment handbags, and the aforementioned floppy straw hat.
Here’s one final tip that may make you feel less frightened to live with less: Once you’ve edited your wardrobe down to the MVPs, you can jazz up your looks with attention-grabbing extras—jewelry, hats, handbags, belts, shoes—to your heart’s content. Like adding spice to a dish, a little dash of bold fashion goes a long way. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research calls this “The Red Sneakers Effect.”26 In the study, observers responded positively to individuals who only slightly challenged the status quo with their style. When someone’s outfit featured a small flourish, like a tuxedo with a red bow tie instead of a black one, or Converse sneakers with formal attire or in a professional setting, that individual was perceived as more competent and higher status than someone who dressed exactly as expected. “The results suggest that people judge these slight deviations from the norm as positive,” reports Scientific American, “because they suggest that the individual is powerful enough to risk the social costs of such behaviors.”27 Translation? Be just a little bit extra.
THE BOTTOM LINE
KEY TIPS AND TAKEAWAYS FROM CHAPTER 4
Keep a digital file or “catalog” of selfies documenting every outfit you love. Pick your day-to-day looks from this pre-planned collection, according to the mood you find yourself in.
Identify your signature style. Find an icon to emulate, whether it’s a celeb, vintage photos of your mom in the ’70s, or a social media influencer, then edit your closet accordingly. Let go of items that fall outside of this framework.
Spot the common thread. Hang the same types of clothes together in your closet (white button-downs, black pants, floral dresses—all together now). Notice any redundancies? Resell or donate excess items. Then notice: What do your favorite clothes have in common? Spend a week wearing only what you absolutely love and see if themes emerge. Notice what colors, cuts, prints, and fabrics make you feel amazing.
Less is more. Aim to own no more than two of the same type of item. (Do you really need five pairs of black pants?)
Style, slay, repeat. If you are reluctant to repeat your looks, think about the gendered and societal forces fueling that fear. Remember: People are more likely to notice you for looking fashionable than for wearing the same thing twice!
When building a Capsule Wardrobe, keep your numbers low and versatility high. Look for seasonless pieces that can be remixed and layered. As long as you fulfill the four key wardrobe categories (basics, formalwear, outerwear, and accessories), you’ll be good to go.