Tip 15: Accentuate the Positive

Success is achieved by developing our strengths,
not by eliminating our weaknesses.
Marilyn vos Savant

I’m a great fan of Positive Psychology. One of its principles is that if we focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses — and when we’re able to honour our innate strengths in our personal and professional lives — we’ll all be a lot happier.

You may think this sounds obvious, but out in the real world it’s often more common for people to pick up on other people’s weaknesses and criticise them rather than encourage their strengths. Come to think of it, how often do we beat ourselves up for not doing something well enough rather than patting ourselves on the back for doing a great job?

Here are some ways that Positive Psychology principles can be applied to our day-to-day lives:

The Strength Story

Think of a time when you were at your best. Where were you? What were you doing? What strengths were you demonstrating? Recall this experience in as much detail as you can. You could write it down and keep it (perhaps reread it if you’re having an off day), or illustrate it and pin it up somewhere — maybe on your Dream Board (see Tip 11), or your Feel Good Box (see Tip 26). If you have children, could you use this with them?

Focus on your strengths

What would you say are your top five strengths? Choose one and use it as your ‘theme for the week’. If you encounter a problem or challenge, or if you have a tough decision to make, draw on that strength to help you handle it.

360 degree positive feedback

This is my favourite. Apparently at the Positive Psychology offices they hold regular feedback sessions where each person is given positive feedback by everyone in the room. Amongst other things they’re told what everyone appreciates about them and what they’ve done really well in the last week. Just imagine what it would be like if this was done in offices all over the country? Wouldn’t it be great? What would the effect be if we used positive feedback regularly at home as well?

I appreciate that life can’t always be as relentlessly upbeat as this, and that there is a place for constructive criticism, but I’m a firm believer in how much happier we’d be if we made a conscious effort to focus on our own, and others’ strengths rather than draw attention to their weaknesses.

QUESTION: How can you play to your strengths this week?

If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than
problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses,
as unlimited rather than dull and unresponsive,
then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.
Barbara Bush

We should seek a system that provides outlets for those
skills and talents so that everyone can find a way to work
and serve in a manner that best suits the strengths
of each individual.
Lee R. Raymond