CHAPTER 1
Preparing the Groundwork
Why Write Your Life Story?

“A man’s experiences of life are a book. There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.” —MARK TWAIN

Imagine being able to write your life story just two pages at a time. In this book you will learn how to capture the thematic moments in your life: the day you met the most important person in your life, the moment your first child was born, the most unforgettable place you visited, the time you decided, “This is the job for me.” Writing Your Legacy will help you uncover and write about the most meaningful moments in your life.

We all have a story that belongs to the world—and it’s ours to tell. Each of us lives in a world filled with activity. Things happen to us. Things happen because of us. Each day is a scene in a movie focused on us, and we are the leading characters. Quiet on the set. Action! We play our roles with style—and quite often we stumble. The times when we trip up or fail become life lessons, and usually we can laugh about them. If nothing else, they make for great stories.

In the oral tradition, stories were told around the dinner table. Generations of ears would listen, and over time these tales slipped into family legend. Sadly most of these retellings would disappear into the mists of time. Nothing was saved. Only the written word will live forever. This is what you can expect from Writing Your Legacy. You will:

• CREATE A POWERFUL LEGACY OF YOUR LIFE STORY AS A GIFT TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND COLLEAGUES. Consider this not only a gift of words but a gift of time. You spend hours creating this once-in-a-lifetime family heirloom. You reach out across the miles to touch the children and grandchildren who live in other places. You share the wisdom of your life experiences: the joys, the successes, the challenges overcome, the legacy you wish to leave behind. You preserve the truth of who you were, your life as lived.
• PROVIDE INSIGHTS FOR INCREASED SELF-UNDERSTANDING. Life is a blur. Time for reflection is limited. Writing Your Legacy is an oasis of the soul, giving you time to breathe in the moment. It is your opportunity to embrace the life you have lived and to realize that you are part of something much greater. Perhaps Carl Jung says it best: “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” This is your time.
• REASSEMBLE YOUR LIFE-SIZED JIGSAW PUZZLE. The pieces are scattered across your life in no apparent order. Nothing is unimportant. The most ordinary parts of your life are the very aspects that connect with all mankind. Legacy writing helps put the pieces back together again.
• RECONCILE YOUR PAST AND RESOLVE OLD RESENTMENTS AND HURTS. There’s no such thing as an easy life. Easy living is momentary. There are bumps and blockades along the way as we nudge up against others. Sometimes we are hurt by those closest to us. The wonder of life story is that it comes from the perspective of time. We look back and wonder, Does it matter so much now? Or we think, I may not have seen the whole picture back then. Writing Your Legacy gently takes you through this confusing maze of contradictions.
• RECOGNIZE THAT FAMILY STORIES CAN BE COMPLICATED. There are often many versions of the truth waiting to be told. Do you want a sibling to tell your story? Your version is the only one you know, and it deserves to be shared.
• FACILITATE PERSONAL GROWTH AND MOVE FORWARD WITH NEW LIFE GOALS. We don’t live “snapshot” lives that fade with time. Everything moves forward, with each moment becoming a seamless leap into the next. Philosopher Georg Hegel suggested that philosophy can only understand life in hindsight. The same is true with our own lives. Legacy writing helps us reflect on the old. Then we take that information with us as we create new experiences. Past mistakes may hurt, but they can also make us stronger. They can propel us into the unknown with new challenges, new understanding, and new life goals.
• ASSIST IN THE TRANSITION FROM ONE LIFE STAGE TO ANOTHER, FOR EXAMPLE, FROM WORK TO RETIREMENT. Someone once said, “Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials—much to live on and much to live for.” Real life is more than just “cause and effect” over and over again. Inevitably the link gets broken. We move from the single life to sharing it with someone special. We start a family. We get downsized. We retire. In each case we regroup, replan, and relive. Legacy writing allows us to rethink this process and to recalibrate our lives through story.
• GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY THROUGH LOCAL HISTORICAL AND HERITAGE COLLECTIONS. Your written legacy can become a valuable addition to your community’s historical record. Don’t overlook the significance of your life story. It will show as many lessons learned and experienced as those of local celebrities.
• STIMULATE THE BRAIN AS MEMORIES ARE PRIMED BY PROBING QUESTIONS. As memories recede, they often jumble into one another. Legacy writing can help sort out time lines and events with probing questions that will lead you to different ways of thinking. These, in turn, can stimulate your mind. Old memories gain new clarity and purpose.
• PROVIDE A SENSE OF IDENTITY AND ACCEPTANCE TO YOUR DESCENDANTS. Research has shown that children who know more about their family history have lower anxiety and more self-acceptance. This can be as simple as knowing how their parents met or from what country their grandparents or great-grandparents emigrated. When you write your life story, you are leaving a legacy that will strengthen current and future generations’ sense of identity and resilience.

In chapter two, we’ll examine why people tell their stories, how they write them, and what lessons can be learned.

Exercise: Surveying the Land

You might have any number of reasons for telling your story. You may feel the need to look back on your life. Perhaps your children or their children have asked you to tell your story. Maybe a friend has encouraged you to tell it all. Review the following questions to help give you more understanding of why you wish to embark on writing your life story. You may wish to use a separate sheet of paper to record your comments.

• Why are you choosing to write your story?
• For whom are you writing?
• Who will be supportive?
• Is there anyone who might not want you to write your story?