You gotta know when to be lazy. Done correctly, it’s an art form that benefits everyone.
—NICHOLAS SPARKS
We are really getting somewhere now! But let’s rest in our efforts for a moment and see if anything we’ve learned thus far has been ingrained in our minds. It’s good to take a break from learning because it gives your brain room to process. Also, never doubt the importance of a lazy day.
Actually, that reminds me of an excellent idea that first came to me when I was eating a bag of potato chips while waiting for some lasagna to reheat. Upon taking it out of the microwave, I thought: “Man, I really don’t want to stop eating these chips.”
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PRO TIP: It’s always good to be eating while you’re making something to eat so that way you don’t eat it all if you’re supposed to be sharing. |
Cocktail
Chianti!
Ingredients
* microwave-friendly frozen (or leftover) lasagna
* 1 bag potato chips
Instructions
Reheat lasagna (or cook it according to the package instructions). Using your fingers, peel back a layer of the lasagna. Ow. Okay, use a different finger. Ow. Okay, still hot. Just maybe use a fork. Ugh, but you don’t have any clean forks! Wait, then what were you thinking making lasagna in the first place? How are you supposed to eat that with no fork whatsoever? I mean, I’ll give you points for being proactive about attaining food, but the level of foresight (FORK-SIGHT?) leaves much to be desired . . .
So, the next step is to go ahead and wash a fork. Ugh. But the forks are at the bottom of the dirty sink pile. There are just so many . . . and nobody has washed a single one. And since when is it your responsibility to wash ALL these dishes anyway? Maybe since you started living on your own? Huh. Maybe the dishes were always done by your roommate in your old apartment . . . she did always complain that she did all the cleaning . . . but it wasn’t always only her mess.
Yikes. Does that make you a big asshole? Better do all these dishes right now to retroactively atone for your sins. Also, this floor could be mopped some. Better do that right now too.
Great! At this point your lasagna should be cool enough for eating! Go ahead and peel it back and insert select potato chips. Sit on your newly cleaned floor and enjoy! Yum!
If you find yourself always waiting for the things you want, then you might want to just start taking care of the things you need.
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Quick Word from the Author: |
Hello! |
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Quick Comment from the Author: |
Microwaves are scary, right? I can’t be the only person who thinks this . . . If you agree, leave a comment in the comments below! Oh wait, this is a book, not a YouTube video . . . |
KITCHEN ESSENTIAL: The Perfect Mimosa
Pictured below are the only ingredients* you will need to make The Perfect Mimosa.
The first step is to pour out one shot’s worth of champagne . . . but be careful when opening . . . and when pouring.
Next, take that shot of champ like a champ and pour orange juice in the now empty shot glass. Then pour that shot back into the champagne bottle. Simple and sweet and ready to serve.
People have a tendency to overcomplicate things. Sometimes it’s best not to mess around too much and just get straight to the good stuff. Sort of like watching clips of your favorite scenes from Arrested Development on YouTube. I love me a good montage in the morning.
