*Except for the orange, that’s just there to look classy. Actually, I think that’s a Satsuma? Which is a mandarin orange. I think that means it’s still an orange? Why call it something different? Hey, now that I think about it . . . what the hell is a tangerine anyway? Googling. Oh, it’s closely related to the mandarin orange. WHY ARE THEY CALLED DIFFERENT THINGS THEN? Ugh, I wish I had never known that. Now it’s going to bother me. Sometimes the information age can be a real letdown.

*AUTHOR APOLOGY: I’m sorry for that last one.

*As in diplomacy, pervert.

*I’M SORRY, I HAD TO DO IT.

* I love cops. But the ones who do it to protect people, not because they want to carry a big stick.

*Wouldn’t that be a cool word if it was real?

*GOTCHA—SIKE—THAT’S NOT A WORD.