O.R. CERTIFICATE OF MEMBERSHIP

ISSUED BY HARRISON HANAFAN, TEMPORARY ACTING HEAD

THE MEA CULPA DECLARATION

 

I, the undersigned, confess to having, consciously or not, overtly or not, been part of a worldwide terrorist conspiracy that has constrained women’s lives through centuries of violence, repression, distress, and discouragement.

I recognize that this treatment of women has been a ploy in a power game—the result of male cowardice, stupidity, perversity, and corruption—and that the status of men has been artificially exalted by it.

I acknowledge that vast numbers of women have been unfairly treated throughout the period of male rule. I therefore apologize for any tyrannical behavior of my own, and that of other men, and pledge to do my utmost to prevent such injuries, insults, and injustices from occurring ever again.

I apologize for stubborn male resistance over the centuries to women’s ideas, thoughts, decisions, and remarks—in the home, at work, in business, in the arts, in education, and in government. In light of this loss of female input over centuries, I now agree to abide by the decisions women make, without resorting to mindless criticisms or meaningless reflex contradictions and derision, no matter how wacko or whimsical the ideas expressed by women may seem to me to be.

I renounce male power and privilege, on the grounds that they were unsportingly won. I wish to relinquish all remaining economic, social, and political advantages I may have obtained, either as a mere consequence of being male, or because of my active participation (now regretted) in misogynist acts of terror, either overt or underground.

In aid of this, I have transferred and/or will transfer, and will continue to transfer, my financial resources to a woman or women, with no strings attached.

By such means, I hope to foster a more humane environment, in which women are less likely to be mistreated and maligned.

It is my hope that the hand-over of power and property to women will ultimately lead to a transformation of society, benefiting people, animals, and the natural world, as well as ensuring a future for human culture, and the preservation and continuation of artistic endeavors.

I believe in the pleasure principle, and therefore renounce the male work ethic as an indecency imposed by men who wished to profit from enslavement and subjugation. I hereby attest the inalienable right of all creatures to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

 

NAME:

 

DATE:

 

NB. For eBook readers wishing to apply for membership of the Odalisque Revolution, please download and print the Mea Culpa Declaration from the Bloomsbury website (www.bloomsbury.com/author/lucy-ellmann), sign it and send it to me, Harrison Hanafan, care of the publisher, accompanied by a letter of no more than two hundred (200) words, detailing the ways in which you have shared your wealth with women. If your letter is deemed satisfactory the certificate will be given the official Odalisque Revolution stamp of approval and returned to you. Please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope, and $5.00 (or the equivalent in other currency) in cash, money-order or check, to cover costs.*

 

Display your O.R. Certificate on the wall of your office, or over the fireplace at home! Expensive mugs and T-shirts available (front: “WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?” back: “THE ODALISQUE REVOLUTION!” or vice versa). bumper stickers also (profits to go towards the O.R. cause):

 

ODALISQUE REVOLUTION

HONK IF YOU’RE IN!

 

WE’LL ALL HAVE CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS

WHEN SHE COMES!

 

(Thank you for your support—H.H.)

 

* Please make out any checks to “Lucy Ellmann”. In fact, just send all your spare cash to Lucy Ellmann, care of the publisher.