MY EGGNOG
– 1 whole entire lb. confectioner’s sugar (always Gertrude’s “last box”)
– 1 whole doz. eggs (big deal!)
– 40 fl. oz. booze or more (depending on your level of festive dismay): brandy and/or Scotch
– 3 quarts heavy cream
– nutmeg
Day One: Amass your ingredients (this may involve a trip or two to a town at least twenty-five miles away).
Day Two: Beat the sugar into the liquor. (Zone out on the smell.) Leave mixture overnight.
Day Three: Separate the eggs, saving the yolks of our oppression. (Permit the egg whites to be assigned some much more noble function.) Beat the liquor mixture into the egg yolks (zoning out again). Leave overnight.
Day Four: Beat cream until stiff. Fold cream into egg-and-liquor mixture. Taste frequently for flavor. Relish these moments of privacy! Honor the opportunity to get soused! Then spoon the Eggnog into wine glasses, sprinkle nutmeg on top and serve to the cognoscenti.
Repeat whole process in time for New Year’s Eve.
MOM’S JAM
Equal amounts sugar and fruit. Cook to thick stage. (Or, extract fruit after initial boiling stage and continue boiling juice until ball stage. Useful trick with pears and plums.) Pour boiling water in jars and swish around. Cool jam slightly. Fill jars. Pour melted beeswax on top, to seal. Apricots—leave whole. Strawberries—break up a bit. And other long lost secrets.
MIMI’S AMATRICIANA
Kiss me. Chop two-inch hunk of guanciale (smoked) into large half-inch-thick pieces. Kiss me again. Put chopped guanciale and good amount of diced chili into frying pan with plenty of olive oil. Fry until almost burning. Don’t distract me. Throw whole glass white wine into pan, and let it bubble away. Now kiss me! Strain big can tomatoes through sieve (optional step). When guanciale’s almost dry again, add tomatoes. Leave to simmer for twenty mins., until smooth and velvety. Kiss me. Cook fusilli, spiraled in honor of serpentine energy (the spiral is a goddess-cult symbol). Grate fine one cup pecorino cheese, and kiss me.
Five mins. before pasta is done, add the cheese to the tomato sauce, along with some black pepper. Stir until smooth. Strain pasta and add it to the sauce in the frying pan. Stir thoroughly. Cook further five mins. Kiss and eat.