LIFE LESSONS

THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO LEARN SOMETHING:
THE EASY WAY AND THE HARD WAY. LIKE MOST
PEOPLE, I’VE HAD MY SHARE OF THE HARD WAY.
AND ALSO LIKE MOST PEOPLE, MY LIFE PHILOSOPHY
IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. BUT FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH,
THESE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT I’VE COME TO BELIEVE.

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW I think of myself as Instant Karma Guy. The feedback I get is almost always immediate. I say something snotty; 5 seconds later, I stub my toe. It’s cause and effect. Ebb and flow. Put it out there; you’ll get it back. If you wake up in a bad mood, then you’ll be given reasons to be in a bad mood. If you’re stressed, you’ll get stress. If you’re satisfied, you’ll be given satisfaction. People don’t always have an awareness of karma. They’ll say, “Oh, poor me, what did I do to deserve that?” I’ll tell you what: something. At the end of the day, everything’s math.

 

UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN’T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND Everything has a purpose. The formula may not be 1 + 1 = 2. It may not be a formula we understand at all. But it’s still a formula. I truly believe that everything’s going according to plan—but it’s out of our hands. When it comes to my own life, I know I’m just holding on for the ride. In hindsight, there’s great evidence of that. But along the way, especially when the water gets rough, it can be hard to believe it. I don’t always get what I want—no one does. There have been days when I’ve missed epic swells or giant snowfalls because I’ve been down-on-the-floor sick. When that happens, it’s torture; more than anything, I want to be out there surfing or snowboarding. But I’ve learned to accept that on some days I’m not meant to. Ultimately, I think the best way to take advantage of what life has to offer is to be open to whatever comes, even when it doesn’t arrive in the exact package you envisioned. No, there’s no hard proof that everything’s unfolding as it should. But that’s what faith is: belief without proof.

 

IF YOU’RE NOT PREPARED, DON’T BE SURPRISED  IF YOU FAIL At the end of the day, it’s about doing the work. If you haven’t ridden your bike very much, you can’t expect to race up l’Alpe-d’Huez. Again, it’s cause and effect. This is a truth that sometimes gets lost. Our society holds that you can take a pill to lose weight or become happy or get healthy; that gratification should be instant; that a crash course can substitute for a thorough education. As a result, many people believe that they don’t have to do anything all that hard. Wrong. Pure magic can happen, of course, but far more often, luck is the result of elbow grease. That said, nobody’s lucky all the time. When you do fail, instead of being depressed about it, use it as an opportunity for reflection. What didn’t work? Why? What could you do differently next time?

 

COMPLAINING IS A LUXURY When I was 11, my mother took me to India and Afghanistan. Her intent was to expose me to other cultures to make me appreciate how abundant and affluent things are here. And it worked. I remember seeing a lone nomad walking through the middle of a barren desert—a hundred miles from nowhere—and he had only one arm. He was a banished one, and he was out there fending for himself. You see something like that and it pretty much shuts down the impulse to whine. Everything’s relative. All these things you think are so irksome in your life—the report that’s due, the nasty thing your neighbor said, that the restaurant overcooked your porterhouse—you wouldn’t even notice them unless everything else was fine. When you’re hurt or sick or worried about someone you love, then things like that have no relevance. You learn very quickly what matters. So the next time you hear yourself complaining, remember how fortunate you are.

 

USE WORDS WISELY There’s something to the adage that if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything. There are times when it’s better to keep quiet. People have a difficult time with that. It’s hard for humans not to flap. We just like to talk. And people like negative talk about others because it makes them feel better. But the best gossip is no gossip.

Minding your own business is an undervalued skill. There is, however, an exception to that rule: When you see somebody doing something and you sense that they might get hurt as a result of it, speak up. If you don’t, you’ll regret it. As much as voicing your opinion might offend them, that’s nothing compared to how you’ll feel if you keep quiet and something happens to them.

 

HAPPINESS IS EASIER (AND SMARTER) I read somewhere that it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile. If that’s true, then it’s actually easier to be happy than it is to be unhappy. Why, then, does it sometimes seem as though everybody’s miserable? Personally, I tell myself that there’s no time for wallowing on the downside. Life is just not that long. If you just had a really good time until the finale, how bad could that be? I think the key to happiness is maximizing each day. So if you’re unhappy, here’s a simple prescription: Live harder.

 

EMBRACE THE NEW Novelty is the antidote to boredom, but we tend to get comfortable with what we know—and as the rut deepens, fresh experiences are even less welcome. We all know people who seem old even if they aren’t. Discovering new things keeps you young. It’s about expanding your horizons. If you stop exploring, everything becomes smaller. I think that the more texture you can have in your life, the better. A simple way to do this is by embracing new things: music, sports, ideas, anything.

 

ENJOY CREATION If all you did in your lifetime was enjoy the beautiful things around you—the sunset, moon, and clouds or all the plants and animals—that would be a worthy life. Because I spend so much time in the ocean and outside in general, I’ve seen some of nature’s more radical spectacles. I’ve been surrounded by—literally—thousands of dolphins. I’ve seen a double rainbow that formed two perfect concentric circles. I’ve flown inside a hurricane. But all of nature’s creations are worth taking the time to admire. The “ordinary” is not really ordinary at all. In Maui I have two pet razorback pigs, Ginger and Marianne. They’re amazing animals, perfect in every detail. Every time I look at them, I have to smile. And it’s like that all around us. Nature’s genius is everywhere, and though it might sound obvious, I think that all of us could do a better job of appreciating it.