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Clear Unprocessed Experiences
You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted.
Begin again the story of your life.
—jane hirshfield, the lives of the heart
Emotions help us understand our experience, feel alive, relate to others, and so much more. But the trouble comes when our emotions become stuck, the experience of prolonged feelings. When this happens, we feel our emotions intensely, often permanently, without having a way to deal with them—and they create stress reactions.
In this chapter, we’ll be exploring the untapped potential of clearing old experiences from our bodies. You’ll learn exactly how old feelings remain in our bodies long after we experience them, what their impact is on our well-being, and how to clear them out in order to allow the body to relax and heal. You’ll also learn two very powerful techniques for clearing: Thymus Test and Tap and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
We Are Meant to Let Go of Old Emotions
In my workshops, I put a pen and piece of paper at every seat. I then ask the participants to simply write their name on the paper in front of them. I give them a few seconds and wait until everyone is done. When I look around the room, about half of them are usually still holding their pen in hand even though the purpose of the pen has been fulfilled. This is a great opportunity to explain how emotions work similarly to this task. We are meant to call upon and use our feelings for a specific reason—to express ourselves, to protect ourselves, and more—but once we don’t need them for that purpose, we are meant to let them go.
Feelings from our past often remain in the body after their original purpose has been fulfilled. When an animal in the wilderness experiences a stressful event, it shakes, trembles, runs, or does other physical activities to discharge the effect of the stress chemicals in its body. The animal brings itself out of that fight, flight, or freeze pattern by discharging it. It rebalances itself and is then able to go back into nature. The natural human tendency is to do this too, but we are often told (by ourselves or others) to “calm down,” “get it together,” “stop being so sensitive,” “grow up,” and “suck it up.”
Purging the survival chemicals after a stressful experience sends a message to our primitive brain that we survived and are safe now. This sends a signal to the cognitive brain to process the information and release any associations related to it that are no longer needed. If the energy of facing and surviving a stressful experience is discharged in a healthy way, it can actually help us feel more empowered and able to handle things in the future. It can even help create a sense of security.
If we don’t discharge this energy (that is, process and release it), then the primitive brain freezes the experience in our systems. All of the emotions we were feeling at the time remain alive and vibrating inside of us. Candace B. Pert, PhD, author of Molecules of Emotion, was the person who opened my eyes to this concept. Her work is based on important findings about how feelings and unexpressed emotions from experiences can get stuck in the body at the level of cellular memory. In Molecules of Emotion, Dr. Pert writes: “A feeling sparked in our mind—or body—will translate as a peptide being released somewhere. [Organs, tissues, skin, muscle, and endocrine glands], they all have peptide receptors on them and can access and store emotional information. This means the emotional memory is stored in many places in the body, not just or even primarily in the brain. You can access emotional memory anywhere in the peptide/receptor network in any number of ways. I think unexpressed emotions are literally lodged in the body. The real true emotions that need to be expressed are in the body, trying to move up and be expressed and thereby integrated, made whole, and healed.”10
Defining the Unprocessed Experience
The way most of us see and understand “trauma” is only half the story. What often comes to mind when we hear the word trauma is abuse, neglect, and catastrophe. But what trauma actually means is a “deeply distressing or disturbing experience.” The kind of events we normally consider traumatic are not always the kind of events that actually traumatize us. A traumatizing experience could be something obvious, like a sudden death in the family, or something seemingly less traumatizing, like a hurtful thing your friend said to you on the playground in second grade.
When unprocessed emotions from those experiences live in your body, you may feel them at some level all the time. But here’s something else that happens. We also make meanings from our experiences that are not necessarily accurate. These meanings or interpretations then become harmful beliefs that we live by, which you’ll be learning about in the next chapter. The unprocessed experience is the reference point or “proof” for the subconscious mind that the belief is still valid for you. You need to clear and neutralize the energies still stuck in your system in order to prove to the subconscious mind that you’re okay now and it’s safe to relax and move on. This is not necessary for every belief, but for many it will be. Regardless, clearing unprocessed experiences is always beneficial for your well-being.
Let’s learn more about what unprocessed means. Any disturbing or distressing event or emotional experience in your life that you have not properly acknowledged, processed, and released may be traumatizing you. This means the feelings from that event are still stuck in your body, or “unexpressed,” as Candace Pert refers to them. Trauma, in other words, is less about the event itself and more about it being unprocessed and still in your body. So from now on, we’re ditching the stressful word trauma and just calling it unprocessed. Isn’t that less intimidating already?
We can break down what this means even further by looking at the three steps to healing an unprocessed experience: acknowledge, process, and release.
• Any event that you have not acknowledged means you most likely said to yourself in some way, even if subconsciously, “Oh, that was no big deal!” when you really were feeling, “Whoa, I’m scared to death” or “That was mighty upsetting!”
• Any event that you have not processed means that you don’t yet understand it or have not yet come to peace with not understanding it—and it remains unfinished with your spirit.
• Any event that you have not released means, because you have not acknowledged and processed it, it might still be stored in your body. If this is true for you, you will most likely feel a “charge” when you recall it. This could show up as a pit in your stomach, a fluttering in your chest, tears welling up in your eyes, a racing heart, sweaty palms, and so on. It is also possible, and even probable, that these events or unprocessed experiences are not ones that you even remember.
Here’s my analogy to demonstrate how unprocessed experiences work. Imagine there is a little glass capsule in your body. When you have a stressful experience and don’t acknowledge, process, and release it, all of the emotional energy vibrations (feelings), images, scents, and other details get stored in that capsule and remain there. When any current experience or its details match what’s inside that capsule, that unprocessed experience can get triggered, “waking it up” in your body. That’s when you feel retraumatized, anxious, or a variety of other things as if you were having the original experience again. To take you out of that pattern, you need to find the various triggers and simply clear or neutralize them.
The goal is to get you to a point of accepting that the experience happened, without an intense emotional charge or energy disturbance that accompanies it. You will never have to like or be happy that this experience happened, but you do have to accept it and be at peace with it in order to move on. This goes back to Candace Pert’s view that emotions must be expressed and integrated in order to be healed. This will not only help you release that stressful reaction in your body but also allow you to go on to collapse harmful beliefs that were built on the experience.
The really interesting thing is that you may have many of these experiences that you don’t even remember, which has caused a bigger challenge for you. These can be things that happened at a very young age, or things that might seem so small you just don’t recall them. I’ll be showing you how to clear even things that you don’t remember shortly.
Make a List of Memories
A very useful exercise that you can do right now is to make a list for yourself. Jot down all of the experiences in your life that are still bothering you, that you still think of from time to time, or that you wish never happened. What do you remember that you were “never the same” after? What experiences can you recall that you had right before this challenge showed up in your life? What still turns your stomach or makes your heart race when you think about it?
This list may be very long, but it’s worth the time to make. This way, you will be able to have a running log and slowly and surely work through it. Do not judge anything as “too small” to go on the list. List everything you can think of. They are all important. I tell clients that I see more “trauma” come from experiences like being humiliated in front of the first grade class than from major car accidents or seemingly more traumatic events. That’s because when things are “big,” we tend to talk about them, work with them, and process them rather than ignore them.
Your list does not have to be in any particular order or include great detail. Only you need to be able to know what experience you are referring to.
Whether you consider memories from your past meaningful or not, they can be having a big impact on your well-being. It’s the same whether you remember them or not. They are always important to clear. And that’s probably easier to do than you think.
Identify Your Unprocessed Experiences
with Three Methods
So how do we figure out what’s really unprocessed in our bodies in order to release them and move on? You now have a list of memories you made to give you a start. Still, you will need to narrow them down and decide what to work with. There are a couple of solid ways to find experiences that are affecting you most: muscle testing and using your list of memories. Choose whatever works for you; there is no wrong way to go about this.
Method 1: Muscle Testing
This is my absolute go-to because it requires the least amount of work and is the most accurate. You don’t have to remember the experience or need the ability to remain objective in deciding what experiences are really causing an issue for you. You just ask your subconscious mind, which already knows the answers and is just waiting to share the information with you.
With muscle testing, you can use the Standing Test or the Arm Test that you learned in chapter 5. Simply ask your body, “Do I have an unprocessed experience contributing to _______?” You can fill in the blank with “stress in my body.” You can also fill it in with the specific challenge you’re working with, like “insecurity in social situations” or “difficulty digesting food.”
The answer to this question will most likely be “yes.” You will probably have lots of these types of experiences, but it only takes one to get the ball rolling. You can then determine through muscle testing at what age this event occurred, getting a clue as to what it could be.
Ask, “Did this event occur between the ages of 0–20? 20–30?” and so on. Keep asking until your body answers “yes” to a specific timeline, then ask about each year within that timeline to get the exact one. Remember to ask the questions slowly and allow your body a few seconds in between to recalibrate.
When you’ve determined the age, simply stay open and allow ideas to come to you. Remember, it can be anything from an obvious experience, like a death in the family, to something you might consider minor. Just go with whatever comes up.
If you are unsure, you can ask more questions, such as asking what this experience was related to—a person, your career, health, and more. It’s really a big guessing game!
Your body will keep answering you, and eventually you will probably remember the experience, or simply have enough information to work with. Even just knowing, for example, that there is an experience from age five that had something to do with school and your teacher will be enough if you can’t remember more.
Once you do, it’s wise to double-check it through muscle testing. Remember, your conscious mind often thinks it knows what’s linked to what, but the subconscious has the final word (and original record). Ask, “Is the experience _______ (describe the experience briefly) contributing to stress in my body?” You can also use anything relevant to you for the last part of this sentence, like “contributing to these migraines” or “contributing to this fear of heights.”
Once you get your confirmation, you will have a tangible experience to work with. If you can’t identify or recall the specific experience, just identify as much information as you can. Perhaps, through muscle testing, you will end up with information such as having an experience at age twenty that was linked to Mom, but you can’t quite figure out exactly what it was about. No problem. Usually the body will allow us to work with just a few key details if we approach it the right way.
Tip: Remember those past-life and generational energies we talked about earlier? Working with unprocessed experiences is one of the opportunities you will have to address those energies. For unprocessed past-life experiences, simply ask your body using muscle testing, “Do I have a past-life experience causing stress in my body?” If you get a “yes,” you can use the same process that you did for getting more information about unprocessed experiences from this lifetime. This just means that the energy of the experience was carried with you from a past life into this one. Just guess what it might be connected to. For generational experiences, ask, “Do I have an unprocessed generational experience that is causing stress in my body?” We are just asking if an experience (and its energy) from one of your relatives was passed on to you. If you get a “yes,” you can ask your body which side of your ancestry it came from—your mother’s or your father’s. Think back to things you know your ancestors went through and see if you can locate the person from whom it was passed, and the experience. To clear past-life and generational experiences, you’ll use the same techniques you’re about to use for your own experiences, but you’ll tweak the wording to fit. I’ll explain this more in the coming pages.
Method 2: Use Your List of Memories
I have two tricks that will help you identify a great experience to work with.
Determine How You Feel About Your Challenge—Ask yourself, “How do I feel about the challenge I’ve been dealing with?” The challenge usually refers to the overall issue, such as an illness or panic attacks. This question will help you uncover what unprocessed experiences might be stored in your body and are contributing to your challenge. Do you feel sad? Do you feel frustrated? Do you feel angry? Try to identify just one main emotion that comes up right now. Once you’ve done that, look at your list. What in your life did you feel this particular emotion about? Perhaps it was a fight you had with a family member or the way something was being handled at work. While there may be several unprocessed experiences, going through this process several times will help you come up with a variety of experiences to work with.
It doesn’t matter what type of challenge it is. I consistently find that how we feel about the challenge is a good indicator of what kind of emotional contributors helped create it in the first place. An interesting note to add is that when we start feeling better about the challenge, this is a great sign of healing.
Here’s an example of how this dynamic can play out. Jim came to me with pain in his joints. I asked Jim when this started, and he told me it was about two years earlier. I asked him if he remembered what was going on in his life two years ago. He rattled off a list of things that could have caused his body to go into overload. Once we explored some initial possibilities, I also asked him how he felt about the joint pain.
Each person will have a unique feeling about his or her problem, even if the actual problem is a common one, such as joint pain. With Jim, I knew that whatever his primary emotion about his joint pain was would be a good starting point for finding the contributing unprocessed experience.
Jim expressed being “tired of dealing with it.” I then helped him figure out what else he was “tired of” or what situation was “tiring” him out around the same time and leading up to that time period (in the previous year or two). You don’t need to stick to the two-year time period, but this is just what I did with Jim. We discovered some marital issues around the time that were making him feel “unworthy.” With that, we went to work on clearing energy around specific experiences in his past using the methods I’m going to teach you shortly. That helped immensely not only with Jim’s frustration and fatigue with the situation but also, in time, with his joint pain.
Over and over again, I find that how we feel physically or how we feel emotionally are very good indicators of the original energy or experience that contributed to the challenge or problem.
Identify Memories with the Strongest “Charge”—Here, you can use your list of memories again. What experiences still have the biggest emotional charge for you? Which memories still give you a knot in your stomach or a lump in your throat when you think about them? That’s an energy imbalance you are feeling—proof that the emotions or memories are still making a cozy home in your body. Choose the strongest or oldest memories on your list to work with first.
Make sure you allow whatever comes up to just be. If you’ve had significant traumas in your life but one of the things that has the biggest charge is when you didn’t win the spelling bee in fourth grade, go with it. The little things can be big, and the big things can be little.
Let me share a story that will help you understand. Sandy, a client of mine, had a really humiliating experience at her first real job after college. She was presenting at a meeting as head of marketing, and started to panic. She didn’t typically have to speak to large crowds, especially to the bigwigs of the company. She felt herself start to get dizzy and nauseous, and her palms were sweating. When she made an appointment with me, she was totally panicked, as she had another presentation coming up in a few weeks. I asked her if she’d ever had an issue with public speaking before this, and she said she hadn’t really had the opportunity. When I started helping her think on a smaller scale, though, she remembered being extremely nervous several times when she had to stand up in front of the class during her school years. She could consciously recall about five different times, so I asked her to just remember the first one. I knew that the first one would have many others “tied” to it, because all of the subsequent times would most likely be triggering that first experience.
We cleared that first experience, including all of the old feelings, and we didn’t even have to touch any of the others. While this won’t always be true and you’ll have to go back to other experiences you identify, you will sometimes get lucky. For Sandy, all the similar unprocessed experiences that reminded her of the first one came unraveled and released along with it. We must have touched on the “strongest” incident, and when we collapsed that energy, we diffused the rest, too. You’ll see how to do this for yourself shortly.
This is a great example of why it’s so very important to process and release experiences and emotions from our bodies. If we don’t, our current lives become full of trigger opportunities that cause stress on our bodies and often reinforce the beliefs we have from those unprocessed experiences.
Now, we’re ready to clear.
How to Clear Unprocessed Experiences
Using Two Techniques
Hopefully you’ve been able to identify one or two specific unprocessed experiences by now. If you’re like I was, you probably have many more than just a few! Let’s get started on clearing them. We’ll be using two techniques for this, which include Thymus Test and Tap and Emotional Freedom Technique.
I can hear you already … “How will I ever clear all that’s happened in my life?” I’m going to sound like a broken record, but I need this to be loud and clear: You don’t have to release them all, or all at once. The idea behind this work is to gently (and slowly) release things from your past as they become obvious to you. You don’t need to go in any specific or chronological order when clearing experiences. Just like earlier, you can trust that whatever comes up first will be just fine.
I’ll teach you two different techniques to clear unprocessed experiences. I use them together in my work with myself and with clients. They are very different techniques, working in different ways. This helps us clean up the experience completely. The combination of them is most effective, at least at first, but after you learn and use them both consistently, you may find that you are able to sometimes clear completely using just one.
The thymus gland, as you first learned in Chapter Four, is the master gland of the body’s immune system. The thymus gland is located in the emotional energy center of the body, right around the heart, and is the first organ of the body to be affected by emotional stress. In fact, it’s often called the “heart’s protector.” It’s responsible, energetically, for regulating energy flow throughout the entire body. It’s affected most by emotions related to not feeling safe, feeling attacked by life or others, and the energy of being unprotected. It makes perfect sense why it would be so important in the role of holding (and releasing) unprocessed experiences, right?
The thymus is so powerful, and connected to the rest of the body’s energy system, that almost any block or imbalance throughout that system can be affected by working with it. This makes it the star of our next technique. Think of how people naturally “flutter” their chests when they’re upset or nervous, or how gorillas thump their chests if they perceive danger. It is believed that there is a natural tendency to strengthen and balance our energy when we need it most.
You might recall from chapter 4 that Dr. John Diamond, a pioneer in the field of holistic healing, believes the thymus serves as the link between mind and body because of its location in the body. You might also remember that the thymus gland is responsible for making T-cells, which are vital to the health of the immune system, including protection against allergies, autoimmune diseases, and immunodeficiency. I believe this makes the health of this gland essential to achieving complete and permanent healing. Candace Pert’s work around unexpressed emotions, and years of exploring several ideas to release them, helped me create and perfect Thymus Test and Tap. This technique’s ability to process and release feelings, while also rebalancing the immune system in relationship to them, is built upon the healing capability of the thymus gland.
In order to help clear unprocessed experiences, we’ll use a simple three-part process:
1. First, you’ll identify feelings from unprocessed experiences that are stuck in your body.
2. Then you’ll use a simple thymus-tapping procedure to release these feelings.
3. Lastly, you’ll install positive emotions to help support the complete integration and healing process for that experience. I usually install positive emotions at the end of a session instead of immediately following work on an experience. Either is okay as long as you complete or close out your work by installing positive energy.
Remember the metaphorical glass capsule we discussed earlier in this chapter? This technique will help start to clear out the emotions from that.
Let’s discuss how the heck we’re going to know what specific stuck feelings we still have. By using a list of emotions, along with muscle testing, you can find out what you need to clear.
Let me give you some examples of how this concept works. Naturopaths sometimes use lists of natural remedies (or the actual remedy), along with muscle testing, to detect what is best for their patients. Homeopathic doctors often use lists of various bacteria and viruses, along with muscle testing, to detect what microbes are affecting patients. Integrative nutritionists often use food frequency lists or vials, along with muscle testing, to discover what their clients are allergic to. By using muscle testing to ask specific questions about the lists or vials, trained practitioners can find out what the body needs in order to come back into balance. In fact, long before I knew anything about emotional healing, I was tested for blocking emotions in this very way, and was given essential oils and homeopathic remedies to help me correct them. This same method is going to help us find emotional energies still stuck in the body from unprocessed experiences. Once identified, we will clear them using Thymus Test and Tap.
This list of emotions that we’ll be using for the Thymus Test and Tap technique comes from my study and analysis of common emotions that tend to remain long after an experience is over. I left extra space on my list so that if there is a feeling I am missing that you strongly resonate with, you can add it right to the chart for yourself.
You now have the understanding to start clearing.
Step 1: Rate the Intensity of Your Experience—Let’s first recall an unprocessed experience you identified earlier in this chapter by using either muscle testing or your list of memories. To begin, simply use the title from your list of memories, or create a succinct title for your experience as an easy way to reference it. This might be something like “The day Dad died” or “When Jimmy teased me.” If you identified an experience from a past life or an experience passed down to you (generational), make a title for that.
Close your eyes and think of the experience you are focused on clearing. On a scale of 0–10, give it a rating as far as how intense it feels for you, 10 being the strongest. If you can locate where you “feel” it in your body, also take notice of that. It doesn’t matter where you are at this moment; it’s just good to have an idea of your starting point so you can gauge your progress as you clear. If you don’t feel an emotional charge, that’s okay.
Step 2: Identify the Emotions—You’ll begin using the list shown here, along with one of the three methods that follow it, to identify which feelings are stuck in your body. You will be identifying and clearing one feeling at a time.
Note: While the emotion of “anxiety” appears on pretty much every other emotion list I’ve seen out there, it does not appear on my list. I don’t consider anxiety an emotion or true feeling. What we often describe as anxiety is simply other emotion that is being suppressed. Suppression of emotions is what actually causes us to feel anxious, uneasy, or unsettled. It feels like something is trying to come up, or out. Without the option of “anxiety” on the list, your body will choose the true emotion that needs to be released. On a separate note, it’s great practice for you to consciously learn to identify emotions that you might describe as anxiety so you can be better in touch with what’s at the root of it.
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Thymus Test and Tap Unprocessed Emotions |
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Section 1 |
Section 2 |
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Abandoned |
Helpless |
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Fearful |
Hopeless |
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Grief-stricken |
Heavy |
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Unloved |
Impatient |
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Intimidated |
Out of control |
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Criticized |
Defensive |
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Judged |
Frustrated |
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Hated |
Panicked |
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Berated |
Insecure |
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Worthless |
Powerless |
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Attacked |
Shocked |
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Betrayed |
Failure |
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Thymus Test and Tap Unprocessed Emotions |
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Section 3 |
Section 4 |
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Rejected |
Vulnerable |
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Angry |
Unsupported |
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Guilty |
Undeserving |
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Resentful |
Shamed |
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Blamed |
Overwhelmed |
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Indecisive |
Bullied |
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Disgusted |
Lonely |
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Conflicted |
Alone |
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Confused |
Regretful |
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Nervous |
Disappointed |
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Unsafe |
Discarded |
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Worried |
Excluded |
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Hurt |
Desperate |
Method 1: Muscle Testing—The first and best technique you can use to identify old feelings is your superpower of muscle testing. Remember, your subconscious mind is like a recorder. It knows exactly what old feelings on this list may still be linked to the unprocessed experience you are working with. Simply get into muscle-testing position and ask your body this:
• “Is there an energy [you can use the word feeling or emotion instead] on this list stuck in my body from _______ (name or title of the experience)?”
Note: You can alter the wording to whatever is comfortable for you. It doesn’t have to be exactly as I’ve suggested here. I sometimes say, “Is there an emotion from _______ (name of experience) that my body wants to let go of ?”
• “Is it in section 1?” If you get a “no,” you’ll know it’s in one of the other sections and you can ask about each of them until you get a “yes.”
• Then read each feeling, one by one, asking your body, “Is it _______?” Do this until you get a “yes.”
Method 2: Run Your Fingers Over the List—Another way to identify the feelings is to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and very gently run your fingers over the list of emotions. If you do it very, very gently, you will actually feel your fingers “stick” a little over the emotion that your body resonates with and wants to release right now. Your fingers are sensing or picking up on it for you.
Method 3: Use Your Intuition—Lastly, you can choose emotions on the list and quietly notice which ones jump out at you. Don’t judge the feeling and choose from there, but rather just notice what comes up. This method of identifying is least likely to bring up hidden emotions because it’s our natural tendency to choose the ones that we think fit or make sense with that experience. We’ve already learned that it’s not always those emotions that are affecting us negatively.
Allow yourself to remember the experience briefly. This is part of the acknowledgment process, but there is no need to dwell on it. We are just momentarily paying attention to it to help go through the processing that didn’t happen originally.
You may be used to analyzing and discussing experiences from the past using other approaches. The mind usually desires some understanding before it can let go. However, the energetic body doesn’t work in the same way. It will release without it. A brief acknowledgment of the memory lets us essentially hit “rewind” on the experience to go through the steps that we should have gone through originally in order to release it.
Step 3: Clear by Tapping the Thymus—Now that you have identified the feelings that are still stuck in your body, you are ready to tap your thymus to clear or neutralize this emotional energy. You will release one feeling at a time, and then repeat.
It can feel good to say the following as you perform the tapping, but it’s not necessary at all: Releasing this _______ (name of the emotion).
Simply tap seven times firmly over your thymus gland with the fingertips of one hand. As you do this, hold the intention of clearing that emotion while taking a couple of deep breaths. If you are called to, you can repeat the word clearing or releasing. Again, the verbal cue is not necessary.
Let me give you a breakdown of how and why this method works. The tapping is sending a force of energy through your thymus gland to clear the emotional energy that might be creating a block or imbalance, wherever it is in your system. You don’t need to know where it is. Your intention to release it is also a huge part of the actual clearing. You are acknowledging the feeling while giving your body permission to let it go. At the same time that you are tapping your thymus gland to release the emotion, you are also rebalancing and strengthening that gland, allowing it to recover from the imbalance.
You may find that you yawn, sigh, burp, or make some other involuntarily sign of an energy shift. If you don’t, that’s okay too. After each clearing, you will want to stop and allow your body a few seconds of time, taking a couple of deep breaths.
A single emotional energy that is cleared can free up a huge amount of energy in your system and help boost your thymus gland in a big way, so don’t underestimate the power of each release. You may have three feelings to clear for each experience you are working on, or you may have fifty. It doesn’t matter. It may take you five minutes, or you may need to work on it over a few weeks. There is no rush.
If you are using muscle testing, you will be asking this each time: “Is there an energy [you can use the word feeling or emotion instead) on this list stuck in my body from _______ (name or title of the experience)?” As we discussed earlier, remember to revise the wording to something that feels natural to you.
Continue releasing emotional energies related to this experience. After every five to ten energies that you release, take a little break and check in with yourself while visualizing the experience you are working on. Are you feeling better about it? Is the picture less vibrant? Does the emotional charge in your body feel muted? These are all good signs the energy is moving out.
If you are using muscle testing, when your body is done releasing, you will eventually get a “no” response when you go back to test for more. This means that your body has cleared all the feeling that it can for now and needs some processing time. It may also mean that all the feelings are completely cleared. You can continue with step 4 now.
If you don’t use muscle testing, you will be using your intuition to know when to stop. Does it feel like it’s time to take a break? When you recall the experience, is the feeling or charge associated with it lessening? This means that you’re clearing the block or the imbalance related to it. Use your intuition to determine when it’s time to move on to the next step.
Remember, when you complete Thymus Test and Tap, you’ll be using Emotional Freedom Technique, so you will still have the opportunity to clear more energy from the experience if it’s there.
Step 4: Identify Positive Energy to Install—Just as we released old feelings using Thymus Test and Tap, we will use it to install positive feelings, too. Installing positive feelings will enhance the work you are doing by giving your body positive emotions to put in the place of what you’ve released. I like to think of identifying and installing positive feelings as a way to “complete the process” in the body. While it’s obviously important to release negative energy, sometimes we can feel empty or like something is missing when we let go of something we’ve had for a long time, even if it wasn’t something we wanted! Remember, thoughts and words are just energy. Using the list of positive feelings on the following page, you will be identifying and installing them one by one. You can do this either by choosing them consciously or, for more accuracy, by using muscle testing to let your subconscious choose exactly what you need at this moment.
Tip: Positive feelings should be installed as part of Thymus Test and Tap, but additionally, you can use this technique on its own as a tool to raise your overall vibration. I always end sessions with clients by installing a few positive emotions with them.
If you are muscle-testing, ask your body this:
• “Is there a positive feeling on this list that would be beneficial for me to install now?” If you get a “yes,” go to the next question.
• “Is it in section 1?” If you get a “no,” then you’ll know it’s in one of the other sections and you can ask about each of them.
• Then read off each emotion, one by one, asking your body, “Is it _______?” Do this until you’ve identified your first emotion by getting a “yes.” Note: If any of the emotions on the chart pop out for you, you can ask your body about them first to save time.
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Thymus Test and Tap Positive Emotions |
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|
Section 1 |
Section 2 |
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Able |
Comforted |
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Abundant |
Connected |
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Accepting |
Content |
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Accepted |
Decisive |
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Adaptable |
Empowered |
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Appreciated |
Encouraged |
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Assertive |
Energetic |
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Reassured |
Flowing |
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At ease |
Forgiven |
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Brave |
Free |
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Inspired |
Grounded |
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Joyful |
Happy |
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Light |
Deserving |
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Protected |
Loved |
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Section 3 |
Section 4 |
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Secure |
Trusting |
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Soothed |
Valued |
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Strong |
Willing |
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Supported |
Calm |
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Grateful |
Centered |
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Important |
Confident |
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Included |
Healed |
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Independent |
Hopeful |
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Acknowledged |
Open |
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Relaxed |
Optimistic |
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Empowered |
Peaceful |
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Understood |
Positive |
Step 5: Install the Positive—Once you’ve identified the emotion, simply tap seven times firmly over your thymus gland, in the upper area of your chest. As you do this, focus on the feeling. Breathe deeply as you do this. This will “tap” that vibration into your thymus gland and send a force of the positive energy throughout your system.
Just like when you clear old feelings from the past and may yawn, get the chills, or more, you may feel similar sensations when you install positive feelings. I usually install three positive feelings because that feels intuitively good for me. However, you are free to install however many feel right to you.
Tip: Thymus Test and Tap can be used for more general clearings, too. For example, you can ask your body through muscle testing if you can release old emotions linked to a specific person, a time period in your life, a specific job, a relationship, a fear you have, or anything else.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
This technique came into my life when I needed it most, and I’m hopeful it’s going to be the same for you. I now use it all the time, in many different ways, which I’ll share later. But for now, we are going to learn how to use it as another way of clearing unprocessed experiences.
EFT tapping works differently than Thymus Test and Tap because we will be working with the unprocessed experience as a whole instead of individual emotional energies. EFT helps us address many different aspects of that glass capsule we talked about. With this technique, we’ll be focusing less on individual feelings and more on the whole enchilada—images, sounds, details of the experience, and other triggering specifics.
While Thymus Test and Tap doesn’t involve much mental focus on the experience, Emotional Freedom Technique allows us more opportunity to think about the experience and focus on it in greater depth. This is done very safely and without being retraumatized by the experience. With Emotional Freedom Technique, we are more likely to have conscious realizations, cognitive shifts, and perspective changes about the experience during the process. This technique often resonates with people who desire to understand or feel closure about an experience in order to make peace with it and put it behind them.
This can most certainly happen with Thymus Test and Tap, but as you’ll see soon, Emotional Freedom Technique gives us the opportunity to walk ourselves through this process in a slower, more conscious way. This can feel more satisfying for some people.
Because these two approaches are so different, it’s really beneficial to use them together. Then you get the best of both worlds!
What Exactly Is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)?
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a technique that combines the principles of acupuncture (without the needles) and talking about unresolved emotional issues—in order to release them. It’s a simple and effective tool based on the meridian system, a system of energy pathways in the body, originating in Chinese medicine thousands of years ago. EFT was founded in the early 1990s by Stanford graduate and engineer Gary Craig. Along the meridians, there are special points commonly used in acupuncture that can be utilized to move energy and remove blockages. Where there is an imbalance, there is a corresponding blockage in the meridian system, which contributes to emotional and physical symptoms. Gently tapping with the fingertips works to release the blockages and restore balance.
Gary Craig states that “the cause of all negative emotion is the disruption in the energy system.” 11 This may be difficult to comprehend at first because we’ve learned so much about memories and traumas causing these emotions. However, what he is essentially saying is that it’s not the memory or trauma itself, but what happens to the energy system in relationship to that causes the emotions that end up stuck. That is why two people can have the same experience—for example, seeing a bear on a camping trip—and one may feel perfectly fine after it but the other won’t. Some of us have more of a propensity for our energy flow to get disrupted or imbalanced during such experiences. By restoring balance to the body’s energy system in relationship to memories and experiences, we are essentially reprogramming our relationship with stress.
In simple terms, this is how I see it working. Imagine your dog, Rufus, totally freaks out every time the mailman comes to the door. Each day, you tell Rufus in your most calming voice that he’s okay and safe around Mr. Mailman. Chances are Rufus will look at you like you don’t know what you’re talking about and continue to bark in fear. But, if you kneel down next to him and pat him, calming him at the same time he is looking at this scary, mean mailman, you’ll be sending a strong signal to his body that he is safe and okay even while facing this trauma (Mr. Mailman and his mean mailbag). You’ll change how Rufus feels in relationship to or in the presence of this thing that is usually stressful. You’ll ultimately change the pattern of what happens to Rufus in his body when he sees the mailman. His system will reprogram itself to be okay and balanced in the presence of Mr. Mailman. We’re basically going to do the same thing for you. We’re going to change what happens to you in your energy body when you are triggered by something that causes stress.
I’ll take a moment here to ask that you tune in to your intuition each time you work with unprocessed experiences. In the case of very sensitive or triggering memories, I encourage you to work with a professional who is trained in this technique. In my own journey, I was able to clear all but one experience by myself. Our bodies often feel safer in the presence of another person who can ground us, and a professional will have extensive techniques to make sure this is a positive experience for you. I do not want you to be afraid to clear things yourself, of course, but please do use careful judgment. Don’t work on any severe trauma alone if your gut is telling you to have professional support.
EFT is one of the most diverse techniques I know. If you fall in love with it, you can find a way to use it in almost every clearing you do for yourself. You can take it anywhere, change it to fit your needs, and never have to be without it.
The Tapping Points
Even if you’re already familiar with Emotional Freedom Technique, follow along with me. I do it a bit differently than many practitioners, so you might just learn something new or fun. This technique has endless possibilities, and while I will cover the building blocks and some extra tips and tricks in this chapter, there is much more you can continue to learn.
The first thing you need to know to use EFT is where you will actually be tapping on your face and body. You don’t need to do anything with this yet; I just want you to understand where to tap when we’re ready.
Just know that, as much as you want to aim for the points I describe, it’s okay if you’re slightly off. The tapping creates a percussion effect that vibrates through the associated energy pathway, and does the job of clearing. Even kids learn this technique, so I promise it’s very easy! Just take it one step at a time.
(1) Karate chop point—The outside of your hand, about halfway between the bottom of your pinky and your wrist. This is where you would break a board if you were a martial artist.
(2) Top of the head—This is smack dab in the middle of the top of your head.
(3) Eyebrow—The inside corner of your eye, right where your eyebrow starts.
(4) Side of the eye—Outer corner of the eye, right on the bone. It’s right inside your temple, closer to your eye.
(5) Under the eye—Top of the cheekbone, right under your eye.
(6) Under the nose—This is where a moustache would be if you had one.
(7) Chin—In the indentation on your chin, halfway between your bottom lip and the tip of your chin.
(8) Collarbone—Find where a man would tie a tie, then go out to each side an inch and drop directly under the collarbone.
(9) Under the arm/side of the body—This is where a bra band is, about four inches under your armpit on the side of your body.
(10) Fingertips—On each finger, tap in the lower right-hand corner of the fingernail, where the nail meets the cuticle. It’s not necessary to be precise as long as you aim for the lower right-hand corner.
Top of the hand—This is often referred to as the gamut point in EFT. It’s about halfway down the top of the hand in between the pinky and ring finger. Because it’s located right along the triple warmer meridian line, it’s often used outside of EFT as a tool for neutralizing panic and fear. When you get to this point in your tapping routine, I will be giving you specific instructions on how to use it. For now, you just need to know its location.
For the tapping points that are located on both sides of the body, you can tap on just one side of the body or on both sides. I am a lazy tapper and use only one side of the body. It works just the same, so feel free to do whatever is comfortable for you.
You want to tap about 5–7 times in each spot (just guess; please don’t count), and with medium pressure. Feel it out. You can’t mess up, so just relax and use this as a practice of undoing your perfectionism. Just make sure you use your fingertips and not your nails. If the points are sore, it generally means the associated meridian is congested and needs to be cleared, so tap gently.
There are various shortcut forms of Emotional Freedom Technique out there, and some skip tapping points to save time. I always use all the points, as each one corresponds with a different energy pathway and different organs, glands, muscles, and more. We want to make sure we cover all the bases and clear all the energy imbalances or blockages related to these feelings. It’s not necessary to save ten seconds for a shortcut.
Tap to Clear Unprocessed Experiences
Now that you have the tapping points down, we’re going to go to the next step. Just keep in mind that the ultimate goal of this technique is to (a) bring up the yucky stuff in that glass capsule—sights, sounds, feelings, colors, people, and other details—and then (b) tap to neutralize or clear it in your energy system. That’s it. Talk as if you were telling a friend about your experience, and tap. I usually talk out loud, but if you are unable to do this or are uncomfortable with it, you can talk in your head. I think we are all good at that already!
While using Emotional Freedom Technique to clear experiences, being as specific as you can in recalling details will help you get that deep-down-it’s-outta-here clearing that we’re looking for. If you weren’t able to identify the specific experience earlier, hang tight. I’m going to show you how to get a great clearing anyway.
We’re going to do this by using a few easy steps:
1. Rate the intensity of your experience.
2. Create a set-up statement.
3. Use your set-up statement while tapping the karate chop point.
4. Tap through the rest of the points.
5. Check in and repeat.
6. Check your work.
7. Wrap up.
Step 1: Rate the Intensity of Your Experience
Let’s start by creating a simple title for your memory or experience as an easy way to reference it. This might be something like “The day I got fired” or “When Johnny told me I was impossible to love.” Close your eyes and focus on that memory. Let the feelings come up to the surface (don’t worry, we’ll clear the uncomfortable feelings along with the unprocessed experience shortly). On a scale of 0–10, give it a rating as far as how intense it feels to you now, 10 being the strongest. If you can locate where you “feel” it in your body, also take note of that. Not everyone feels emotion in their body, so if you feel nothing but can just get a sense of or guess your rating, that’s all good too. If you are working with a past-life experience or generational experience, you may feel disconnected or unemotional.
It doesn’t matter where you are at this moment; it’s just good to have an idea of your starting point so you can gauge your progress as you clear.
Step 2: Create a Set-Up Statement
We always start with what we call a set-up statement. There are two parts to this statement, and you will simply fill in the blanks to modify it for your own experience.
Even though _______ (state the experience), I _______ (insert a positive idea).
Using this statement, we are acknowledging the issue we’re dealing with but are sending the message that we can let it go, move on, and heal anyway.
First part of statement: Even though _______ (state the experience), …
You want to use as much descriptive detail as possible to “call out” the energy of that experience in your system so it can be cleared. You want to bring it up to acknowledge it so it can be processed and move through your system like it should have originally. It might be something like this:
Even though Mom forgot me at school after the dance when I was five and I feel this pitter-patter in my heart, …
If you don’t remember your specific experience but have figured out the age at which it occurred or anything related using muscle testing, use a statement such as this:
Even though something happened to me at age twenty with Mom and I don’t remember what it was, I give my subconscious permission to clear it.
If it’s a past-life or generational energy, you could use something like this:
Even though I have this past-life (or generational) memory of _______ (insert details if you have them), I’m willing to release it.
Tip: Try to mix a physical symptom and an emotional feeling into this statement. Think of using this set-up statement as a way to tell the body about the problem you wish to clear.
Second part of statement: … , I _______ (insert a positive idea).
Here, you will insert any positive statement to balance the set-up statement. You are essentially telling yourself that even though something bad happened (first part), it is okay (second part).
Here are some examples of positive ideas you can use:
• I completely love and accept myself. (This is the most common wording in EFT, but I prefer some of the others, as this one doesn’t always seem fitting to the sentence.)
• I can relax now.
• I’m okay anyway.
• I choose to release it.
• I give my subconscious permission to let it go now.
Once you have both parts of the statement ready, you can move on to the next step.
Step 3: Use Your Set-Up Statement While Tapping
the Karate Chop Point
To begin the EFT process, you’re going to say the entire statement you put together three times in a row as you tap the karate chop point continuously. Use three or four fingers of one hand and tap the karate chop point of the other hand.
You can say the same exact statement three times, or you can vary the wording slightly. As long as whatever you are saying is true for you, it will work.
I always tap with my eyes closed so I can really focus on what’s coming up instead of getting distracted by my environment. I try to focus on the old experience or memory in order to help the energy come up to be cleared. However, if your mind wanders, that’s okay.
Let’s try it now with your eyes closed. Repeat your set-up statement three times. Here’s an example:
Even though Mom forgot me at school after the dance when I was five and I feel this pitter-patter in my heart, I choose to relax now.
Now you are ready to move on to the rest of the tapping points.
Step 4: Tap Through the Rest of the Points
Next, you are simply going to tap through the rest of the points you learned earlier while you tell the story of what happened and vent about your experience. By venting, I mean you will pretend you’re talking to a friend and just let loose! Talk and talk (while you tap) about whatever is bothering you. Try using a mix of emotional and physical sensations in your descriptions—that is, talk about how you feel emotionally and how it’s making you feel physically. It’s best to go in chronological order of the story so you can notice what parts of your experience are extra “sticky” for you. As you tap and vent, look at what aspects of the experience are most upsetting. Here’s an example.
In an experience where you were bullied, what parts of the story stick in your mind? Perhaps it will be what the bully was wearing, the look on another kid’s face when he laughed at you, and the feeling that it would never end. Talk or think about this and tap, focusing on the different segments of your story. It’s only when you address all aspects of the story that you’ll be able to process and neutralize the experience completely.
It’s important to remember that you are simply acknowledging the reality of this experience in order to neutralize or release it. Saying these things out loud will not further embed the experience into your system or make you believe something that isn’t already causing an energy disturbance. In fact, tapping will do just the opposite; it will help you release it. Even if I had you tap all day long, saying “I’m scared of kittens,” it would never become the truth. And if it is the truth, tapping will help clear it!
Make sure you keep tapping while you recall the details, because even if the experience is painful, you are clearing it. You don’t want to sit there thinking about it without doing the tapping (which is probably what you are typically doing even without realizing it). You already cleared at least some of it during the first part of the clearing, when you used Thymus Test and Tap, which should make it less painful to recall.
This round of tapping might include talking about things like this:
• Concrete details from the experience: colors, sounds, smells, weather, facial expressions, a certain phrase someone said to you that is upsetting, and so on.
• Intangible concepts or feelings: feeling used, being unable to trust yourself or someone else, someone lying, being humiliated, friends ditching you, and so on.
You are just bringing up the yucky energy so it can move out. It may not feel great to temporarily focus on it, but it’s the only way to really clear it deeply. Remember, you’ve been feeling bad about this for a long time as it hangs out in your system, so it’s better to deal with it once and for all.
You don’t need to use complete sentences. You can use phrases, single words, or descriptions that only you understand. Aim to tap about 5–7 times at each point; or one phrase, sentence, or idea for each point. Just talk about whatever is true and prominent for you. That matters far more than anything else. An example of tapping through the rest of the points might look like the following, but remember to use your own words and feelings.
Top of the head—I can’t believe Mom forgot me.
Eyebrow—I remember being the only one waiting and I was cold.
Side of the eye—I saw that red van pull up and thought it was her, but it wasn’t.
Under the eye—My friend Amy was laughing because Mom always forgot me.
Under the nose—I get a pit in my stomach thinking about how scared I was.
Chin—Mrs. Brown saw me and didn’t even try to help. I remember her ugly sweater.
Collarbone—I am so nervous in my stomach.
Under the arm/side of the body—Grrrrrrr! (Noises instead of words are good, too.)
Fingertips—I just wish I had a different mom!
Top of the hand—When you get here, you’re going to continue tapping and focusing on the upset while also doing this seemingly silly little routine that helps engage the right and left hemispheres of the brain using eye movements. It’s been shown to be extremely useful in releasing and processing old feelings and traumas. Do the following as you continue to tap:
Close your eyes, open your eyes, shift your eyes down and to the right (don’t move your head), shift your eyes down and to the left (don’t move your head), roll your eyes in a big circle in front of you, then roll them in the other direction, hum a few seconds of a song (anything will do!), count to five quickly out loud (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), then hum for a few more seconds.
Note: I don’t do this routine during every tapping round. I throw it in when my intuition tells me to.
Now, repeat tapping through the points from start to finish, just one more time. Just talk out loud, tell your story, and vent about whatever comes to mind again.
Note: If you don’t remember the details of your event, you can use the following phrases as you tap the rest of the points and they will work great:
My subconscious knows exactly what it is.
This event at age _______.
All the details from that experience.
All the smells, sights, and sounds.
All subconscious triggers.
I know it had something to do with _______.
My body remembers the details.
Maybe it had something to do with _______.
What we are doing here is still talking about or guessing about the details of the experience. By suggesting ideas and triggers, the subconscious mind works behind the scenes to find those details and clear them.
If this is a past-life or generational experience, use whatever details you have, such as whom the experience belonged to and more. You can also include the terms this past-life experience or this generational experience to help fill in the blanks.
You’re now ready to gauge your progress in the next step.
Step 5: Check In and Repeat
Take a break, open your eyes, take a deep breath or two, and check in with yourself. Give the energy a little bit of time to process and shift.
Now close your eyes and tune back in to the experience. Rate your intensity again on a scale of 0–10, 10 being the strongest. Notice if either the physical sensation or the emotional rating has gone down at all. Did it improve? If not, it’s no biggie. Occasionally a person will shift with just one round, but most do not. I am my own worst client, as it often takes me many rounds, and then sometimes even lots of processing time after that, to feel a shift in my system. If you aren’t feeling any relief, you’ll want to repeat the entire process again from the beginning, either with the same words or different words that ring true for you.
If you feel increased intensity after your first round, that’s okay. Any change is actually a great sign that the imbalanced energy is mobilizing and transforming. People will often feel a surge in emotion or symptoms as they tap. Again, this is simply because we are bringing things to the surface or stirring them up as part of the release process. They may have been buried deep and are rising close to the surface to be cleared. Hooray! This is exactly what we want.
Do you feel like you’re starting to calm down or feel even slightly better about your situation? Sometimes while clearing, release of energy or improved balance will show up in the following ways: feeling less “charge” about the experience, feeling more calm in your body, feeling more optimistic, suddenly seeing things in a way you didn’t before, or being more disconnected from the experience when you recall it.
Now repeat the head-to-fingertip tapping and venting for a few more rounds. Take a few deep breaths and focus on the issue again. Rate it and decide if you should keep going. You want to make sure this experience cleared as much as possible, meaning it’s no longer affecting you. This will likely require some persistence and repeated tapping, so don’t give up.
Step 6: Check Your Work
It is crucial to check your work. Really test yourself to make sure the experience has been cleared and you’re not just shying away from it and wanting to be done. Think of everything that was bothering you before and try to ignite an internal reaction. When you feel neutral or pretty darn close, you can muscle-test to make sure it’s clear.
To do this, simply ask your body this question with muscle testing: “Is this _______ (name of experience) _______ causing a stress in my body?”
If you get a “no,” the coast is clear. If you get a “yes,” simply keep tapping, making sure you cover all of the details, concepts, and feelings that come up for you. Like we talked about earlier, sometimes we need some time to process the work we’ve done. It’s okay to leave this alone and come back to check on it later. It may be easier after a break to assess if there’s more work to do.
It’s all up to you. You can’t go wrong.
Step 7: Wrap Up
When you’re sure you’ve cleared your experience completely, or you need to take a tapping break until another session, it’s nice to wrap up with some positive tapping. Do not do this, though, until the very end of your session. Tapping and saying positive things all day will not clear anything negative from your system. You need to address things in the way I’ve described in order to do that.
To close with a positive round, simply do one last tapping round focusing on some positive or calming phrases. It might look something like this:
Top of the head—I am okay.
Eyebrow—I can get past this.
Side of the eye—I want to feel better.
Under the eye—I am feeling calmer now.
Under the nose—I rock!
Chin—I’m okay.
Collarbone—I’m okay.
Under the arm/side of the body—I’m okay.
Fingertips—I’m okay.
Top of the hand—I’m okay.
That’s it!
How Long Should It Take to Clear
an Unprocessed Experience?
You should keep tapping until you feel complete relief. I always joke that even though the intensity scale is 0–10, if you can get down to a 1 that will do it! Many people make the mistake of tapping for only a couple minutes and then say, “Tapping doesn’t work.” While tapping can feel like a miracle once you learn and use it successfully, it does often take more than a few minutes to get there. Gary Craig says that the three most important aspects of EFT are persistence, persistence, and persistence! You simply need to keep tapping and working through the process as many times as it takes.
When the energy of the experience is truly clear from your system, you will likely have a more distant or faded vision of your memory. It will feel like it happened to someone else or like it’s just “there now” instead of holding a strong emotional charge like it did before. However, doing step 6 and using muscle testing to check your work is a great way to be sure.
EFT Tips
Emotional Freedom Technique really is a wonderful technique, and it’s easily adaptable. Here are some points to keep in mind as you practice using it:
• Remember that you don’t have to talk out loud when using EFT. This is often helpful, but you can talk quietly in your head if necessary.
• If tapping agitates you for any reason or it hurts your points, use an alternate technique of “touch and breathe.” This means, for each point, you’ll touch it and take a breath, then move on to the next point.
• Remember that in order to clear the emotional energy, you must bring it up. Don’t distract yourself from feeling discomfort during this process.
• Don’t jump into positive tapping until you’re all finished. The positive round is used only when you’re ready to wrap up your session so you can end on a positive note.
• If you don’t feel like the old energy is clearing from your system, ask yourself this question about whatever issue you’re working on: “Does this remind me of an experience from earlier in my life?” If it does, it’s likely that the energy of that experience needs to be cleared in order for you to see improvement in the challenge you’re working on. Simply use EFT on that earlier experience in your life. To do this, you’d create and use a set-up statement and then move through the rest of the points while venting about the details of that experience.
I encourage you to keep practicing and reaching new levels of clearing with your work.
Additional Ways to Use EFT
Now you understand how to use EFT to clear unprocessed experiences. However, tapping can be used for just about anything! I use tapping almost every day for one thing or another. You can use tapping for anything from physical and emotional symptoms to releasing panic and strong emotion in the moment.
While Emotional Freedom Technique is an exceptional technique, clients often get stuck on “what to say” while tapping and are discouraged from using it. While the words you use are not nearly as important as everyone thinks—because bringing up the feeling or emotion is how we actually get effective clearing—this is still a very real stumbling block for some. Here are some alternatives for you to try.
Use It “in the Moment”
You may often find yourself, in the moment, fearful or upset about something, without the time or ability to do a full clearing session. For these times, a simpler version of Emotional Freedom Technique can be very beneficial. There is no reason you should sit around and feel bad and not be clearing the energy at the same time.
How-To: This simple process involves creating and using a set-up statement to verbalize how you are feeling now, then going through the rest of the points while venting about that same thing. You’ll use the set-up statement three times while tapping the karate chop point continuously. When you’ve done that, simply tap through the rest of the EFT points and vent about it. As long as what you’re saying is true for you, you’re doing it right. Remember to include how you feel both physically and emotionally, if both apply.
If you ever need to use this technique in a place where you’re unable to tap on all of the points, simply put your hand in an inconspicuous place and tap on the fingertip points only.
Utilize Reminders from Your Past
Sometimes it’s difficult to work on a traumatic event from your past because it’s just too scary, you don’t recall details, or you are maybe too detached to conjure up the feelings in order to clear them.
How-To: Use any other means you can think of to bring up feelings associated with what you want to clear. These might include tapping while reading past journal entries aloud, writing out your story or feelings and then tapping as you read and reread them, recording your experience or feelings with your voice and tapping along to that, and playing songs from your past that evoke emotion so you can tap along to that.
Ask Your Subconscious Mind for Help
Calling on your subconscious mind for help is a great way to get some deep clearing, even if we don’t know exactly what needs to be cleared. Remember, the subconscious mind knows everything.
How-To: Recite a short intention or prayer asking that your subconscious mind come to your rescue and help you clear. Something like this will do just fine:
I trust and allow my subconscious to help me clear this challenge. Thank you!
An example set-up statement might look like this:
Even though I have no idea what is holding me back from healing, I give my subconscious permission to release it anyway.
For the rest of the tapping points, focus on whatever issue you are clearing, trying to incorporate the emotions you feel and any information you have.
Tapping through these points might look something like this:
“I don’t know what’s making me anxious.” “Maybe it’s _______ (insert any guesses).” “My subconscious knows.” “I just can’t figure it out.”
Just keep tapping and talking out loud, which will trigger your subconscious into pulling up whatever it needs to help you clear.
Incorporate Metaphors
As you’ve learned, symptoms are metaphors or clues from our body. They are our body’s language. Using the guide I’ve given you, and your own intuition, you can work some of these ideas into your tapping.
How-To: Incorporate any metaphors or clues that might apply to you from Chapter Six into your set-up statement and tapping.
Here are a couple examples of what a set-up statement might look like:
Even though I can’t digest what happened to me when _______, …
Even though I’m so mad that this grief from _______ is suffocating me, …
Even though Mom stabbed me in the back, …
Remember that the more you practice using EFT in various ways, the more comfortable you’ll become using it. There’s no right or wrong way to do it as long as it’s working for you.
In the next chapter, we’ll be learning how to release harmful beliefs, which often come from the unprocessed experiences we’ve just worked with.
Prevent Unprocessed Experiences in the Future
Now that you understand a lot about unprocessed experiences and how they get stuck in the body, let’s talk about how to prevent them in the future.
First and foremost, be conscious of how you’re feeling. Really allow yourself the opportunity to feel your feelings and acknowledge your emotions. Don’t give in to the temptation to tell yourself, “It’s no big deal!” even if you wish it wasn’t. Acknowledge how you’re feeling and accept it, even if it doesn’t make logical sense or you don’t like it. In her book Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott shared this advice from her therapist: “She said to go ahead and feel the feelings. I did. They felt like shit.” This says it so beautifully because feelings aren’t always pleasant; but if we can allow and accept those feelings anyway, there’s a much greater chance that they’ll feel like shit only temporarily instead of for a lifetime.
You can also use EFT during moments of stress, as we just discussed. This immediately helps your body calm down instead of going into, or staying in, fight, flight, or freeze mode. In addition to EFT, other practices that help our bodies release emotional energy are massage, meditation, hot baths (especially with essential oil), dancing, deep breathing, and exercising.