Learn to Feel Energy:
It’s Easier Than You Think
Like the word Tantra, energy is a word that gets bandied about (sometimes promiscuously) and that becomes ever more elusive as we attempt to define it. It may have vastly different meanings to different people: nuclear physicists, oil company executives, athletes, or Reiki practitioners. There are people who claim to be able to read it or see it; while some may be on to something, it sometimes seems that these claims are a form of spiritual one-upmanship more than anything else. We hope to give you a very concrete, embodied understanding of the word, because developing a sense of energy is an important aspect of Tantric practice, and thinking about sex in energetic terms is beneficial, whether or not you believe in some of the more mystical ways of defining it.
From the Hindu Tantric perspective, the entire universe is an energetic process, imbued with inert consciousness, figured as the masculine principle or Shiva, which is brought into activity by energy, figured as the feminine principle or Shakti. Note that these polarities are conceived of as masculine and feminine, but they have nothing to do with physical gender. In Buddhist Tantra, the polarities are reversed: wisdom, the analog of consciousness, is the feminine principle, and compassion, the analog of energy, is masculine. These traditions are very closely related, so it is evident that their views of “masculine” and “feminine” are metaphoric and are not rooted in essentialist ideas about gender roles.
It is believed that each of us contains both these masculine and feminine aspects, and the work of the individual practitioner is to unite these polarities—in the heart. Tantric sex can be seen as being a physical enactment of this macrocosmic principle, with one person taking the role of Shiva and the other of Shakti, without regard to the anatomy of either; while this interpretation of Tantric sexual ritual is not strictly supported by the literature, it is congruent with the underlying philosophy and is absolutely appropriate for modern practitioners.
This has all been very abstract, but we thought it important to give you a brief overview of how energy is understood in the Tantric tradition before making it concrete by giving you a simple exercise. This exercise can serve as a building block for interacting energetically. You may never be able to read anyone’s “energy body” (aura), but if you can think about all of your encounters, whether or not they are sexual, as having an energetic component, your experiences are likely to be the richer for it.
To begin, fully extend your arms in front of you, or bend your elbows and bring your upper arms to your sides, while keeping your forearms and hands outstretched, whichever is more comfortable. Close your eyes, and open your palms; turn your left palm up and your right palm down. Squeeze your hands tightly and open them again, twenty-four times. Reverse the positions of your palms, right palm up and left palm down, and repeat the process.
Once you have finished, pay close attention to the sensations in your palms. Chances are you feel some tingling or some heat. That’s all we mean by energy.
Next, keep your eyes closed and bring your palms close together; try to recognize a point at which you feel something radiating from one or both of your hands. Gradually move your palms apart, and see if you find the place where they no longer feel connected, as if the “energy field” between them had been broken.
Some will likely think, “All that happened was that the nerve endings in my hands got stimulated.” Others may say, “I just increased the blood flow.” Neither of these statements is wrong, but consider a different way of understanding the sensation: we’ve brought awareness to something that is going on inside us at all times. If we think about it from this perspective, everything we do has an energetic component—every glance, every touch, and certainly every sexual act. This slight shift in thinking can produce huge changes in the way we interact, and many of the practices in this book will be more effective if you can keep the energetic component in mind.