Experiment with
Your Breath
The Sanskrit word prana means “breath,” and it also refers to the energy that exists in the air, both inside and outside our bodies. The word pranayama is often translated as control or regulation of the breath, and it can refer to breathing techniques, of which there are many in the Tantric and Yogic traditions. At a deeper level, pranayama refers to the regulation of energy, and the purpose of breathing techniques is to direct the movement of energy within the body. To put it in less esoteric terms, you can use your breath to create subtle and not-so-subtle changes in your physical and/or mental state.
In the context of sexual activity, understanding the power of the breath and using it deliberately can be very effective for increasing the range of experiences that are available to you. You can breathe in ways that amp up your arousal, and you can learn how to use your breath to cool down, when you want to do so. Most of us have habitual ways of breathing of which we are unconscious. Becoming aware of these habitual patterns is the first step in learning to use your breath skillfully. Rather than instructing you in specific pranayamas at this point, we will encourage you to observe and experiment.
Think about how you are breathing at this moment, as you read these words. Now, see if you can recall how you breathe during states of heightened arousal. Chances are they are very different. Next, think about how you breathe immediately before and during orgasm. You may not be able to remember. This is perfectly normal; when we’re very turned on, our minds are usually focused on the sensations (if they’re focused at all), and self-observation can be a challenge.
Even if you were able to remember the way you breathe during arousal and at the point of orgasm, the next step is to observe yourself in these states. The experience may or may not match your memory, and there is a chance you will find that your breathing patterns in partnered sex are not the same as they are when you are pleasuring yourself. Since partnered sex often involves a subtle feedback loop in which each person’s breathing influences the other, it is much easier to focus on your own patterns during self-pleasuring. The presence of another also makes it more likely that you will get lost in the experience, making it considerably more difficult for you to witness your own state.
Once you are confident that you have identified your normal breathing patterns during arousal and orgasm, you can begin to experiment with them. See what happens if you breathe heavily and rapidly through the mouth. This can often intensify the experience, as can making sounds.
As you approach the point of no return, try exhaling as slowly as you can. Empty your lungs completely. Then as you go into the orgasmic release, inhale, again making certain that you are taking in the air as gradually as possible.
See what happens when you take in deeper, longer breaths as you approach your climax. Try to focus on engaging your entire body, and imagine that you are spreading the oxygen you are inhaling to every part of it.
Try taking in shallow, rapid sniffs of air just before you reach the point of no return. The infusion of oxygen may intensify the experience.
Next, hold your breath as you approach the brink; exhale as you go over the edge; and see how that affects the way you come. For some people, this increases the tension at just the right moment and leads to a more powerful orgasm.
You may find that some of these techniques work for you and others do not. The Tantric approach is empirical, so use what is effective and discard the rest. It can be very helpful to develop your own experiments; this will provide you with many insights into your own sexuality. There are countless ways to breathe, although most of us have never given the process much thought. Once you have developed awareness and skill at breathing consciously during self-pleasuring, you are likely to get more pleasure from sex.