Connect: Hands to Heart
We are not entirely sure where this practice originated. It is a basic human gesture, but it was popularized by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (now known as Osho) and his disciples. Osho was not traditionally trained or initiated; he devised his own system that was based on a mixture of his wide reading in spiritual literature, including Tantra and Western psychology. There are many good reasons to be critical of Osho and the movement that he founded, but that discussion is beyond the scope of this book, and there can be no denying that he has had an enormous influence on the way Tantra is taught and practiced in the modern world.
Regardless of what anyone thinks about Osho, it is safe to say this technique is now a staple in most Tantra workshops, in one form or another, and with good reason. It is a very simple way to connect. We have added an additional element to the standard method—one that we think makes it even more effective.
Combining physical touch with looking deeply into your beloved’s eyes can create and sustain an even deeper sense of connection, so this practice is best used in conjunction with eye-gazing. Begin by placing your right hands on the center of each other’s chests, near the heart. Next, cover your partner’s right hand with your left and vice versa. Take several deliberate, audible breaths, sighing on the exhalation. Spend two to three minutes gazing into each other’s eyes while performing this heart salutation.
As with eye-gazing, don’t worry about your thoughts. In time, your mind will go quiet, especially if you deliberately synchronize your breathing. This is likely to happen naturally, but focusing on your breath will help you stay present and add another harmonizing element.
To make the practice even more effective, you can do the hand exercise we described in chapter 8, “Learn to Feel Energy: It’s Easier Than You Think.” Next bring your hands to each other’s hearts. If you can feel the energy flowing in your hands, you can then imagine that you are transmitting that energy to your partner’s heart, and vice versa. You have already created an energetic circuit by eye-gazing. You are now creating another one that runs through your arms and into your hearts, so you will be doubly connected. You may even have a faint sensation that your partner’s chest is absorbing your hand, and you are merging. Do not force this or try to pursue any specific result. Just allow things to happen.
Like many of the practices we’re sharing, the heart salutation may seem a little awkward and formulaic at first, but it is another way to re-create the physical circumstances that led you to fall in love. Think about the times you snuggled together with your hand resting on your lover’s chest. This is another way evoke those early moments of intimacy and rekindle your passion for each other.
You may find that this feels so good that you want to do it for more than two or three minutes. We sometimes get so lost that our sense of time warps, and we fall into such a deep state that we don’t know whose hands are whose. In conjunction with breathing and eye-gazing, this exercise can help to ground you both and equalize your emotional states. Because this approach engages several senses—touch, hearing, and sight—it is an effective way to short-circuit conflict without saying a word.