Exchange Essences
This is a practice that some may find challenging and edgy, but one aspect of being a Tantric practitioner is the willingness to break taboos, and in the modern age, personal as opposed to cultural boundaries are probably the more interesting and valuable ones to cross. Nevertheless, this is a practice that you should only explore in the context of a fluid-bonded relationship. If safer sex is a consideration, you can substitute honey and exchange it in a kiss as a symbolic representation.
The earliest Tantric rituals involved the sharing and consumption of sexual fluids—semen, vaginal secretions, and menstrual blood. It was believed that this act was essential to effect the transmission of energy from one practitioner to another. David Gordon White did an outstanding job of explaining these beliefs and practices in Kiss of the Yogini, a scholarly work.24 We discussed them from the modern practitioner’s point of view in The Essence of Tantric Sexuality. This is an aspect of Tantra that gets little attention from most contemporary Western teachers, especially those who emphasize non-ejaculatory orgasms for men. Some describe female ejaculate as amrita (the nectar of immortality) in the context of making this type of orgasm a kind of Tantric sine qua non, but this is a distortion.25
We are fortunate that two of our teachers, Dr. Jonn Mumford and Dr. Rudolph Ballentine, did not avoid the subject of secretions. As with exchanging breath, the shared consumption of sexual fluids is an act that has profound implications. While we may live in a world that seems rational, science-based, and devoid of magic (these original Tantric practices had a magical dimension), we remain human, and the substances that are responsible for our very existence do not lose their power over us simply because we have been taught that they are mere chemical compounds. There are undoubtedly multiple reasons why the “cum shot” has become a staple in pornographic films, but one reason for it is the numinous quality of sexual fluids. This idea that bodily fluids contain some divine energy is embedded in the human psyche but often exists below the level of conscious awareness. It is present whether or not we believe in God, Goddess, God and Goddess, or any kind of magic.
By becoming conscious of this generally unconscious process, we can make use of it in ways that nurture us. By shedding our inhibitions and our discomfort with the messiness of sex, we become freer, more erotically engaged beings. The ancient Tantrics consumed sexual fluids because they believed that it was a way of obtaining power, and this is still true. If the thought of kissing after oral sex makes you uncomfortable, challenging yourself may prove to be a liberating and empowering experience. If it is something you already do, having an awareness of its implications may give it new meaning for you.
However you choose to approach it, this is perhaps the most intimate form of kissing of all. If you practice any form of ritual sex, incorporate it into your protocol. If ritual is not your thing, you can still think of this as a form of communion, a very direct and physical way of demonstrating your connection to each other.