Nape of the Neck
The slang term necking, meaning “prolonged kissing” or “making out,” dates back to the early nineteenth century and was widely used until at least the 1960s. Although the term is somewhat archaic today, there is still a fairly common understanding that kissing someone on the neck is a way of communicating sexual desire, of saying, “I want you.” According to a dating website: “If a guy kisses you on the neck, it [means] that he cannot wait to get more ‘intimate’ with you.” 35 While we’re not familiar with the origins of that piece of folk wisdom, it’s certainly true for us.
It’s also just one of many beliefs about the neck that highlight the erotic power that resides in this part of the body. A bite on the neck is part of the mating ritual in cats and other members of the animal kingdom. The nape of the neck is very sensitive to more subtle contact, so there’s no need to be as aggressive as a wildcat, although getting bitten in this area can be a huge turn-on too, especially if you’re already highly aroused. The line between pleasure and pain (or between painful pleasure and painful pain) varies a great deal from person to person, so if you’re going to get rough, you have to be careful not to cross it.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. The nape of the neck is our favorite area to touch when we want to transition from our everyday activities into making love. In fact, we often call it the transition point. Approaching your lover from behind and kissing the back of the neck is a great way to signal your interest, and touching the neck is relaxing and soothing, intimate and sensual. It stirs the sexual response but in a gentle, comforting way.
Sexual excitement is really a mix of arousal and relaxation. The sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system have to function in balance and harmony for sex to work. Caressing the nape of the neck activates both systems.
Try gently gathering up your beloved’s hair and running your fingertips along the hairline. Next, stroke gently from the hairline down to the top of the shoulders. Add a few light kisses and a whisper or two in the ear. If you do, you’ll be simultaneously stimulating another erogenous zone. This is almost sure to put anyone in the mood.
Hot breath on the back of the neck can send chills down the spine. You can also lick a small area and then blow gently on it. The effect of the evaporating saliva is cooling and calming, with a subtle erotic edge. When you’re both a bit more turned on, you can try nibbling, biting gently, and gathering your beloved’s hair in your hand and giving it a tug.
To return to the animal kingdom for a moment, most pets enjoy a good scratch on the neck. They often roll over and offer up their bellies in a display of pleasure. If you caress, kiss, and stimulate the nape of your partner’s neck, you may get a similar reaction.