G-spot
There’s a lot of mythology around the G-spot, which is not a spot at all but an area of erectile tissue that surrounds the female urethra. It is the anatomical analogue of the prostate gland and similarly is a trigger point for the second chakra. While the G-spot was named for Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, who “discovered” it in 1950, it was well known in ancient India and was discussed in some of the classical Indian sex manuals.36
The known Tantric texts, which discuss the ritual uses of sexual fluids generally, don’t stress the G-spot or the fluid it can produce. Never-
theless, some contemporary Tantra teachers treat ejaculatory G-spot orgasms as the ultimate in Tantric practice and the source of sexual healing. We have a somewhat different perspective and prefer not to think of one kind of sexual experience as superior to all others. We’ve known people who can ejaculate in response to G-spot stimulation and feel little or no pleasure when it happens, and we’ve known very seasoned sexual adventurers who have never ejaculated at all and still have fulfilling sex lives.
We’re all different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sexual responsiveness. As with any other zone, G-spot massage may or may not be pleasurable for you, and there’s nothing wrong with either reaction. It’s just yours, but be aware that as with prostate massage, this can be an acquired taste.
For many, the biggest mystery about the G-spot is its location. It’s at the front of the vagina, in the upper portion, behind the pubic bone. As with the prostate, it’s easiest to find with a finger. If you insert one or two fingers when your lover is highly aroused (in multiorgasmic people, it’s a good idea to do this after one or more clitoral orgasms), you’re likely to feel a ridge of slightly rough, engorged tissue approximately two-thirds to a full finger length inside. That’s the so-called G-spot. The best way to massage it is to use the same come-hither gesture that we described for the prostate gland. It can be helpful to keep the palm of the hand in contact with the clitoris, and as we have already suggested, incorporating the trigger point above the pubic bone is a great way to intensify the response.
Fig. 16: The G-spot is located within the upper front wall of the vagina
between two-thirds and a full finger-length inside
Sometimes the G-spot responds to a lot of pressure. Sometimes the response is more energetic than physical, and just resting your finger on it is all that’s needed to produce an orgasm. The G-spot can also be very tender, especially when the receiver is not excited enough. You don’t want to press the urethra into the pubic bone, which is likely to happen if the surrounding erectile tissue is not engorged. Sensitivity can also vary a great deal during different phases of the menstrual cycle.
Don’t forget to communicate clearly, carefully, and kindly, so that the experience is as pleasurable as possible for both of you. As with prostate massage, it may take some time before someone who is new to the experience can identify the sensations as pleasurable. This is a matter of forging new neural pathways, so if there is a little discomfort at first, don’t attach any meaning to the sensations; just observe without judging. The way you perceive the feelings may very well shift. Of course, if you experience real pain, it may be a sign that you are not sufficiently aroused or that this is not a good practice for you at this point in your life.
It can be very helpful to empty your bladder before you start. Many people inhibit the ejaculatory response because they confuse it with the need to go to the bathroom. You’ll feel freer if that’s not a concern.
Finally, if you want to learn to ejaculate, it’s very important to be well hydrated, so be sure to drink a good deal of water during the day of your session. While having ejaculatory G-spot orgasms is not a goal in Tantra, many people love having them, and they can be a huge turn-on for the giver as well. G-spot stimulation is certainly a treasured part of our sexual repertoire.