Breathing as an
Alchemical Practice
By now you should have a fairly good understanding of the role of breath in the Tantric tradition and some experiential knowledge of how to work with your breath. You’ve observed and changed your pattern of breathing at orgasm while self-pleasuring. You’ve learned to use breathing together as a tool for creating harmony. You’ve also learned about reciprocal breathing in the context of kissing, including during intercourse. Although it is a great way to build intimacy and amp up arousal, the kind of reciprocal breathing we described in chapter 22 is very difficult, if not impossible, to sustain just before and during orgasm. It demands too much focus and coordination, and keeping your mouths locked together as one or both of you comes is physically restricting and can result in chipped teeth or bitten lips or tongues. Nevertheless, there are some very interesting things you can do with the breath in these heightened states of arousal, building on the knowledge you already have.
When you’re approaching, moving into and through orgasm, you can use breathing as a form of communication and energetic exchange. It is one of the easiest ways to take each other higher and higher. While most yogic breathing is done through the nose, it is much easier to do partnered breathing through the mouth, especially when you are very excited. Doing so adds the element of sound to the process but also makes it much easier to stay in synch. If you are facing each other, you can gaze into each other’s eyes as you breathe. This will intensify the energetic exchange.
Breathing simultaneously is generally the easiest approach, and when accompanied by sound and eye-gazing, it is likely to produce very strong orgasms. Breathing reciprocally (but not exchanging breath), one of you inhaling as the other exhales and vice versa, requires more coordination, especially when you’re very turned on. Doing so will probably change the experience; instead of pumping up the energy together, you are thrusting it back and forth. This creates a kind of ebb and flow that many find pleasurable. You may also find it interesting to explore how the feeling of breathing in opposition differs depending on whether you are being penetrated or are doing the penetrating.
You can try a number of variations, as you did when you changed your breathing pattern at orgasm. These include shallow breaths, breathing from the middle of your lungs, and breathing deeply. Different paces are also likely to alter the experience for you both, with panting having one effect, and slow deep breaths another.
We’d like to conclude this last tip by introducing you to a very simplified form of a practice that comes out of Kriya Yoga, a tradition that is closely related to Tantra. Kriya means “action,” and kriyas generally involve breath, subtle movements, and often the mental repetition of a mantra. This can be a very effective way of working with sexual energy in the body. Although most Kriya Yoga lineages are ascetic and do not suggest that kriyas should be employed in the context of sexual activity, their use in conjunction with sex can be quite profound.
Certain advanced Tantric practitioners actually have the ability to perform a type of vajroli mudra that involves drawing fluids into the body through the urethra. In some of the ancient rituals we described, instead of exchanging fluids by consuming them, these adepts would ejaculate and then draw the commingled sexual fluids back into their bodies using this technique. As we see it, there is no need to master this physical practice, since visualizing it works very well. In addition, by using the imagination in conjunction with this simplified kriya, anatomy is not an issue, and people of all genders can imagine that they are drawing the combined sexual energy up the spine and into the skull and then allowing it to flow back down again. This practice builds intimacy and often produces very intense sensations.
Performing the kriya involves a few simple steps. First, tighten your pubococcygeal muscles. For those who have developed the ability to isolate them, focus on the anus. Inhale and imagine that you are pulling the energy up from your pelvic floor (either up your spine or through an imaginary tube in the middle of your body) until it reaches your skull. Once your lungs are almost full, take a sniff of air and tuck your chin. Hold your breath for as long as is comfortable. Exhale slowly and imagine that the energy is flowing back down your body, bathing you in warmth and re-concentrating in your pelvic bowl.
You can try this technique at any point during your lovemaking. If you choose to do it after orgasm, you can visualize that the energy you are drawing up is actually your commingled sexual fluids. You can do this whether you’ve actually exchanged these essences or not. It can be very effective to imagine that the union of your secretions has been transformed into radiant golden light and to draw this up the spine. Try doing three repetitions of this kriya.
Once you’ve become skilled at the simpler version, you can intensify the exchange by bringing your foreheads together in what is sometimes called a third-eye kiss. For this variation, you should imagine that the energy is circulating between you in a continuous loop, from the genitals, out the forehead (third eye), through your partner, and back again.
By doing either form of this kriya, you are creating a powerful mental image of a sharing that is far deeper than what most people experience in conventional intercourse. Each of you is entering the other, and you are suffusing each other’s bodies with your combined essences. As with so many Tantric practices, what you believe is not particularly relevant. Your imagination is the key. Imagine this communion and keep on imagining it. It will become real for you.