Build Excitement
and Prolong Arousal
There’s an old joke that includes the phrase “Oh God, oh God, I’m coming” as the final build-up to its punchline. This expression is very widely used in fan fiction and erotic literature, to the point of being a cliché, for reasons that should be intuitively obvious but that often go unexamined. Whether it is used in jest or to titillate, the saying has deeper implications, and it evokes a core Tantric principle.
In a very real sense, coming is a gateway to an inner heavenly realm. Recent research suggests that the part of the brain that registers or generates mystical experience is active during arousal and orgasm. Thus, modern science is starting to validate what the ancient Tantrics understood—that orgasm is one of the mystical states most readily available to ordinary people.5
They also understood something that is perhaps more important: that orgasm is just the starting point. Tantric sexual practices are aimed at making these mystical states available long before orgasm takes place and also at allowing them to linger after the few seconds of peak experience have passed. This is accomplished by prolonging and building arousal, which is why Sting boasted about making love for seven hours at a time and why popular representations of Tantra place so much emphasis on extended lovemaking sessions, lasting several, if not seven, hours. These representations are not wrong, but they are misleading. We have already suggested that applying Tantric principles to sex involves an effort to abandon goal-orientation, so that you can enjoy and be aware of each moment of a sexual encounter for its own sake. Focusing on goals, whether the goal is orgasm or displaying your sexual stamina, will limit or eliminate your ability to enjoy and be aware. Prolonging arousal is a tool, and that’s all.
This is not to say that marathon lovemaking sessions are a bad thing. For most people, they are very pleasurable, and longer periods of arousal do lead to more deeply altered states of consciousness. The truth is: you don’t have to go on for all that long. The changes in consciousness that accompany prolonging arousal can be felt quite distinctly after approximately half an hour. They can be felt regardless of what kind of sex you are having and are not limited to intercourse. Although intercourse is not necessary, most people will require some direct genital stimulation to reach or maintain the level of arousal that is needed to produce the altered state.
Thus, it is important not only to prolong the arousal but also to try to build it and maintain as high a level of excitement as you can, even at the risk of losing control. Forty-five minutes of moderate arousal is probably less effective than thirty minutes of being more intensely turned on, especially if you are overly focused on trying to restrain yourself. We don’t recommend distracting yourself by thinking about baseball scores, the weather, or anything other than what you are doing.
Alternating between stillness and motion can make it easier to prolong your encounters and can help cool things down slightly if you’ve gotten a little too excited and are about to go over the edge. If you are already multiorgasmic, you may notice a slight decline in the intensity of your arousal after each orgasm, something that shows up as a wavelike effect on a graph (although some people experience a build-up from one orgasm to the next). These drop-offs are fine, provided they are not too steep and you can get back to a high level quickly.
Experiment with building your arousal for thirty minutes or more. See how high you can go during that period. We suspect you’ll feel quite blissful as a result. When you do have an orgasm, it’s likely to be a powerful one, and afterwards you may feel more energized than you normally do. Take note of how different the entire experience makes you feel. The difference may be subtle, but it will almost certainly be noticeable.