CHAPTER 2

READY, SET, PLAN!

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

—Benjamin Franklin

Now that you have mastered the mental part of goal achievement, you may begin on mastering your behavioral goals. To have the best chances at reaching your goals, you must first learn to create what is considered a “good” goal, or one that gives you the best chances of success. For adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), it is beneficial to have explicitly stated goals, specific methods for accomplishing goals, and specific time frames for meeting those goals. The more concrete you can learn to make your goals, the more likely you are to accomplish them. Also, by learning how to set effective goals and then break them down into small, achievable steps or objectives, you can gain better control over your life, reduce anxiety, and improve productivity. In this chapter, I teach you how to initiate change by creating this sort of solid foundation. To do this, you must start with three simple, but invaluable, ideas that will propel you toward making your aspirations reality:

Would you ever think of building a house without taking the time to create a solid foundation? Like a foundation, a good LTG will help to keep you on solid footing as you begin to build on your weekly objectives, reducing the chances of getting off track. Sticking with our home-building metaphor, you will also need a place to keep your tools. Like tools in a toolbox, there is no one strategy to approach each goal with. You may find that, over the course of the next several weeks, you try and implement several different approaches in your effort to reach one goal. You’ll need some place to keep all of these ideas so that, when one is put away and another is taken out, none are forgotten, as they may be useful again later. Finally, you’ll need a blueprint, or “weekly objective,” to break down the steps and provide direction on what to do next as you work toward your (house completion) goal.

Still think you can achieve your goals without creating a thoughtful plan? Take the following quiz to see if the ideas in this chapter apply to you. The more “yes” answers you give, the more helpful this chapter will be to you.

QUIZ YOURSELF—DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOU?

  1. Do you have abstract ideas of what you would like to accomplish, such as “I would like to be better organized”?
  2. Do you alternate between going full force toward a goal (e.g., crash dieting and losing several pounds in 1 week) and undoing everything you set in motion (e.g., devouring a large pizza in one sitting)?
  3. Is your home littered with old to-do lists or notes meant to inspire you but ended up serving as coasters?
  4. Do you have a vague recollection of some strategies that worked for you once upon a time that you can’t describe in detail or context?

WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY

Each of the core characteristics of ADHD (inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity) can negatively impact your ability to set, as well as follow through with, goals and objectives. For example, problems related to inattention, such as staying focused and on task, make it difficult to pinpoint a particular goal, even if you have a conceptual idea of what you would like to see happen. More obviously, lack of focus inhibits your capacity to follow a goal through to completion. Hyperactivity and impulsivity have the same effect. For someone who sets out to read a book, for example, the need to move about can unravel all efforts in an instant. Impulsivity can lead the same person astray if something more intriguing becomes available. All of these factors can lead you, as an adult with ADHD, to become easily overwhelmed by the idea of setting and meeting goals. Add past failures to the mix and a 10-foot pole may not be nearly long enough to touch the idea of goal setting.

Edwin Locke of the University of Maryland, College Park, and Gary Latham of the University of Toronto developed their now famous goal-setting theory, derived from more than 400 scientific studies in industrial or organizational psychology over a 25-year span. They determined that specific and difficult goals were more effective than vague or easy goals. This is because a challenging (but not too challenging) goal feels like more of an accomplishment to achieve since you’ve worked hard for it. Vague or easy goals are not motivating and tend to get put off. World-renowned psychologist Albert Bandura furthered this idea with his research on self-efficacy, the belief people have in their capabilities to produce a desired outcome, and how it relates to goal setting and achievement. He found that task-specific confidence is an important factor as well, and, without it, other variables may not matter as much.

CAN YOU RELATE TO THIS?

Addison came to me for help with her ADHD symptoms as a 30-year-old college student. She had been diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive presentation, after two changed majors, three different schools, and four failed attempts to pass the courses needed to graduate. Growing up, she had shown tremendous academic potential at times but, ultimately, felt inundated by reminders of her failures from her parents and teachers along the way. She suffered from anxiety and depression as a result of her constant struggles. Addison felt that she either did well on school assignments and test taking or nothing at all (due to her perfectionist nature). In addition, her living space was in disorder. She had difficulty keeping friends because she did not make a consistent effort, and she was unable to sustain a successful romantic relationship.

At the outset of treatment, we established Addison’s LTGs. I asked open-ended questions and encouraged her to expand on the explanations of her goals in order to get a “big-picture” view. Addison grew up in a household where “ignoring the good” was status quo. As long as she was doing well in school, she heard little from her (highly successful) parents; however, during a time of increased symptoms that kept her off track, she received plenty of negative feedback. It was easy to see how, even when she was doing relatively well in school now, one misstep could cause the whole thing to collapse. I also focused on Addison’s strengths, so that we could start to shift to a more positive narrative, and she was able to produce ideas about what she was good at, including empathy for others and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. These initial discussions helped me to understand how to guide Addison so that she could be successful in reaching her goals, and also helped her to remain positive about herself. I continued to explore Addison’s feelings around her ADHD and offer support, and then guide her as we narrowed in on her LTGs.

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GETTING BACK ON TRACK: SETTING GOALS AND OBJECTIVES

The following sections will help you begin to create LTGs (Step 1), set up your toolbox (Step 2), and break down LTGs into smaller, weekly objectives (Step 3). At each step, I use Addison as a case example to illustrate how the step should be applied.

Step 1: Setting LTGs

What is an LTG? In simple terms, you can think of an LTG as an outcome that one desires to achieve. An LTG can vary in terms of the time it may take to be achieved as well as in the difficulty of achievement. For example, some coaching clients set what they see as more basic goals, such as keeping their home clean for a period of 4 weeks or paying their bills on time for 1 month. Others set forth more lofty goals, such as going back to school for an advanced degree, working on a relationship, or getting a new job. Most people don’t have a hard time coming up with ideas about what they would like to achieve in life. The hard part is getting there—or even knowing where to begin.

Self-confidence, too, may be a struggle for you as an adult with ADHD, but you can increase it using the exercises put forth in Chapter 1. Because you have most likely experienced years of disappointment in terms of reaching your goals, your self-efficacy or self-confidence has most likely taken a bruising when it comes to goal setting. But, now, you are armed with ways to challenge your negative beliefs.

Goal-directed behavior occurs when individuals are able to hold an LTG in their awareness and use the abstract image of that goal to guide and direct their actions. For adults with ADHD, this knack does not come easily. Without the capacity to hold a goal in mind with consistency and focus, a person with ADHD may find it increasingly difficult to overcome obstacles as they are presented, further hindering the completion of any LTG.

The first step toward improving the ability to set and reach your goals is to learn how to create an effective goal. As Locke and Latham discovered, specificity is an important factor, as is setting a goal that will be somewhat of a challenge to obtain. However, as an adult with ADHD who becomes easily overwhelmed, you will need to balance difficulty with what you can realistically do. Keeping these ideas in mind and taking into consideration the challenges faced by adults with ADHD, I have created four “golden rules” for what makes an effective LTG:

  • Make your goal Measurable.
  • Make your goal Process Based.
  • Make your goal Realistic.
  • Make your goal Time Sensitive.

Now, let’s take a look at each of these criteria in more depth.

Making an LTG Measurable

First, let’s consider the term measurable, which is analogous to Locke and Latham’s specific. As we mentioned earlier, most people find it fairly easy to come up with ideas about what they would like to achieve or things about their life they would like to change. Responses from adults with ADHD include the following:

  • I want to be better organized.
  • I want to manage my time better.
  • I want to be less distracted.
  • I want to be a better spouse/friend/parent.

Although these are all wonderful things to want for yourself, they are not measurable goals. To make these goals measurable, we need to define them in a way that, after a period of time, they can allow us to produce an evidence-based “yes” or “no” answer to the question “Did you accomplish your goal?” In other words, how will we know if you are better organized; manage your time better; are less distracted; or have become a better spouse, friend, or parent?

Making an LTG Process Based

Next, let’s talk about what it means to make a goal process based. Just because an LTG is measurable does not automatically make it process based. Here are some similar goals to the ones listed previously, but only now, they are measurable but still not process based:

  • I want to have my home office organized 2 months from now.
  • I want to create a schedule for the next month of activities.
  • I want to read a new book.
  • I want to buy my spouse/friend/parent a gift.

Again, these ideas are the beginnings of some quality goals, but the lack of the process it takes to get there creates a fatal flaw. Many adults with ADHD have mastered the art of procrastination. Therefore, you may be able to put off organizing your home office for 7 weeks, only to stay up for 2 days straight getting it in order, put off reading a book for weeks until your spouse threatens to throw out the television, or pick up a thoughtless gift at the grocery store checkout simply to meet the goal of buying a present. On the other hand, you can work very hard and still not reach your LTG if it is based solely on the achievement of one final outcome. You may spend an hour every day trying to get that home office in order but not quite finish in time, you may diligently read 30 minutes each night and still not finish that book, or you may spend a lot of time thoughtfully considering what gift to buy but still not find quite the right thing. Finally, the major error regarding the goal of creating a schedule is that it does not mention anything about following through or maintaining that schedule. What good is a schedule if you don’t stick to it? Making a goal process based ensures that you will consistently monitor and focus behavior in a way that will help you not only to achieve the LTG but also—and more important—to understand your behavior along the way.

Making an LTG Realistic

It is important to not confuse “difficult” goals with “unrealistic” goals. Difficult goals are challenging but attainable (for the average human and without sacrificing health or safety). For example, don’t think that, although you haven’t read a book in 2 years, you will be able to read nightly for the next month. People commonly make this mistake when it comes to things like exercise and nutrition as well, which are important parts of ADHD symptom reduction (more on that in Chapter 10 on finding the right counselor, coach, or other support you need to reach your goals). If you haven’t set foot in the gym for 5 years, don’t aim to run a 10-kilometer (6.3-mile) race in 3 weeks. It’s not going to happen. Remember, any amount of goal-directed behavior that you engage in is most likely more than you were doing the week before, and that is something to be proud of. A realistic goal may be to get to the gym once a week for 6 months: You may not see this as ideal, but it is better than not going at all.

Making an LTG Time Sensitive

This rule is a lot more straightforward. Simply put, you must include a deadline by which time the LTG should be accomplished; otherwise, it is left out in oblivion to dangle forever and ever. The goal date should be the date by when you want to have followed all the blueprints (weekly objectives) and completed your build, a little bit at a time. The trick here is to pick a time frame that gives you adequate time to build week to week yet isn’t so far in the distant future that all sense of urgency and motivation is lost. Somewhere between 6 and 12 weeks is generally best.

Keeping the Four Golden Rules in Mind

As you read the following four possible ways to express our original goals, remember the four golden rules (making LTGs that are measurable, process based, realistic, and time sensitive). Highlight each part of the LTGs that you think illustrates one of the golden rules:

  • I want to create and maintain a system of organization for my home office over the next 3 months.
  • I want to use an agenda to record my schedule on a weekly basis, and then follow through with it for the next 8 weeks.
  • I want to research and attempt one new skill per week to help increase my ability to focus for the next 5 weeks.
  • I want to dedicate 1 hour per evening to bond with my spouse, help my friend, or play with my kids for the next 2 months.

Exhibit 2.1 shows the LTGs created by our case example, Addison, using the four golden rules. In Exhibit 2.2, create three or four LTGs for yourself that follow these rules (measurable, process based, realistic, and time sensitive). Prioritize them and write each goal in a separate box. Then, write the corresponding “due date” in the right-hand box, next to your LTG.

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EXHIBIT 2.1. Addison’s Long-Term Goals

What would you like to accomplish? Write a long-term goal (LTG) that is measurable, process based, and time sensitive.

By when would you like to accomplish this LTG? Pick a definitive due date.

1. Create and follow through with a weekly homework and study schedule.

Create by Week 2 of semester. Follow through Weeks 2–8 (midterm).

2. Create an organizational system for my bedroom and maintain that organization.

Create by Week 3. Follow through Weeks 3–8.

3. Reach out to one friend per week via text, email, or phone.

Weeks 1–8

4. Practice CBT strategies to increase positive self-talk once a week with reframing worksheet.

Weeks 1–8

EXHIBIT 2.2. Try It! Develop Your Long-Term Goals

What would you like to accomplish? Write a long-term goal (LTG) that is measurable, process based, and time sensitive.

By when would you like to accomplish this LTG? Pick a definitive due date.

1.


2.


3.


4.


Step 2: Develop a Toolbox

You wouldn’t think to keep your building tools scattered around your house and rely on your memory to find them, so why are you likely doing this when it comes to strategies to control your time, stay organized, manage your relationships, or any of the other life areas affected by your adult ADHD? Ideally, before one starts buying tools and using them, they purchase a toolbox in which to keep them. Likewise, before you start trying different strategies to manage your adult ADHD, let’s create a place to keep them when they aren’t in use. Your toolbox can be physical (a shoe box, folder, or poster board) or digital (kept on your phone or computer). For a physical toolbox (my preference because it can be kept in a place where you see it and take notice every day), try keeping stacks of index cards around the home where, at any time, you can jot down notes about a helpful strategy and then place them in your toolbox to revisit later. The appendix of this book provides several example tools that you can cut out and put in a physical toolbox. If you choose to log ideas digitally, consider setting an alarm every couple of days or so to remind you to enter in ideas or review previous entries.

Step 3: Creating Weekly Objectives

Once you have created your LTGs, and your toolbox is ready, you can begin the task of breaking down your goals into smaller, weekly “baby steps.” Because an LTG can seem big and overwhelming, now that it has been recorded, put it aside. Focus on the very first step you will need to take in order to eventually reach your goal. Think “small.” Think “easy.” For the first few weeks, your job is to set (and complete) objectives that are well within your capabilities. By doing this, you will increase your confidence, enabling you to slowly take on more and more challenging objectives. For example, if you created a time-management goal centered on using an agenda or planner, your first week’s objective may be to go to the office supply store and purchase a planner. If you created a goal to exercise more frequently, maybe your first week’s objective is to talk to two active friends about athletic activities that they find fun and interesting.

After a few weeks, you will want to reexamine your LTGs and your due dates. From here on out, you will need to work backwards on certain goals. If your goal relates to maintaining a task or schedule, just keep going. However, if your goal involves a definitive final task, such as a family trip that needs to be planned or an exam that needs to be studied for, scheduling out what needs to be done from week to week in order to get the LTG done on time will be critical. Keeping with the idea of exercise, say your goal is to complete a run of 10 kilometers (6.3 miles) in 4 months. The first few weeks, you may only run a mile or so just to get the ball rolling with an objective you can easily meet and feel good about. After those first few outings, you will need to map out exactly how many miles per week you need to be running in order to be at your goal in 4 months.

When writing down your weekly objectives, be as specific and detailed as possible. It’s not enough to say “run 2 miles.” Instead, attempt to specify how, when, where, and what you are going to do: “After work, take 20 minutes to change and stretch. At 6:30, go for 2-mile run from home to the high school and back at an easy pace.” Also, do not feel you need to work on every LTG every week. Tackle your top priority goals first. You may also have more than one objective pertaining to only one LTG.

Finally, the art of creating weekly objectives that are neither too big nor too small can be a challenge for anyone. Don’t hesitate to enlist the help of a coach, counselor, or friend to help you map out the process for meeting your goal.

Exhibits 2.3 and 2.4 show the objectives for the first 2 weeks created by our case example, Addison.

EXHIBIT 2.3. Addison’s Week 1 Objectives

What would you like to accomplish this week toward reaching your long-term goal LTG)? Write a weekly objective.

Corresponding LTG #

By when would you like to accomplish your objective? Pick a definitive due date.

Decide on a planner or calendar system to use for LTG planning and purchase.

1

Friday

Review phone contacts and flag friends whom I would like to connect with.

3

Sunday

Take photos of my bedroom and bring to the next session to review and explore organizing options.

2

Wednesday

Put a note on bedroom mirror that says, “Is there another way to think about this?” to start encouraging reframing of negative thoughts.

4

Wednesday

EXHIBIT 2.4. Addison’s Week 2 Objectives

What would you like to accomplish this week toward reaching your long-term goal (LTG)? Write a weekly objective.

Corresponding LTG #

By when would you like to accomplish your objective? Pick a definitive due date.

Review class syllabi and enter all known test, assignment, and project due dates to planner.

1

Wednesday

Add assignments in each class for the upcoming week, including when they are due AND when I will complete them.

1

Thursday

Follow through with my study schedule in new planner. Study no more than 45 minutes before taking a break.

1

Sunday

Call Reese.

3

Friday

Read the note on bedroom mirror OUT LOUD each time I pass by.

4

Sunday

Now, try creating your own weekly objectives. In Exhibits 2.5 and 2.6, create your first 2 weeks of objectives as they pertain to at least one of your LTGs. Don’t forget to pick a definite due date somewhere within the week to accomplish each objective. Remember: Think small, work backward, and be specific!

checkyourfocus

EXHIBIT 2.5. Try It! Develop Your Week 1 Objectives

What would you like to accomplish this week toward reaching your long-term goal (LTG)? Write a weekly objective.

Corresponding LTG #

By when would you like to accomplish your objective? Pick a definitive due date.










EXHIBIT 2.6. Try It! Develop Your Week 2 Objectives

What would you like to accomplish this week toward reaching your long-term goal (LTG)? Write a weekly objective.

Corresponding LTG #

By when would you like to accomplish your objective? Pick a definitive due date.













QUICK TIP: “STRUCTURED PROCRASTINATION”

One of our clients taught us a goal-writing technique that she called structured procrastination. She described it like this:

I found it helpful having an objective I can distract myself from another objective with. It gives me structure in how to procrastinate. Like, if I know I have an objective to read but don’t want to at that moment, I look and see if there is another objective I’d rather work toward. Last weekend, I cleaned my car in order to procrastinate on my reading assignment. If I didn’t have that objective, I’d likely have found something else to procrastinate with, and I would still be at the same point study-wise. So, this way, I can still procrastinate, but it’s productive. It works terrific!

By being skillful about the way time-sensitive objectives are written, you can, in essence, set up activities to do that will allow you to put off other less desirable activities, yet you can always feel you are accomplishing something. In line with the coaching philosophy, you can use this technique to fit your program to your strengths and innate tendencies. Rather than completely fight the urge to procrastinate, you can frame it as a coping strategy.

SUMMARY

Here are the important points you will want to take away from this chapter. Use the following checklist to note the areas you have thoroughly studied. Leave the box empty if it’s an area that you would like to come back to and review further.

  • I understand how ADHD impacts my ability to set and reach goals.
  • I have learned how to set and use LTGs.
  • I understand and can apply the four golden rules for an effective LTG.
  • I have learned how to create and use weekly objectives.
  • I see how scoring myself and evaluating my thoughts is helpful in reaching my objectives and goals.
  • I have applied the idea of structured procrastination for my objectives.