CHAPTER 7
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
—Bertrand Russell
Chronic disorganization is a cornerstone symptom of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Important papers and items often get lost beneath piles of clutter. Eventually, these piles become closets and rooms full of stuff, both needed and unneeded. Forget finding that perfect dress to wear on your night out; you’d probably be happy with clean underwear most days. Then, on those days when you feel a little more motivated, you may even begin to weed through it all. However, more often than not, you eventually become overwhelmed and give up or get distracted by all the intriguing stuff you are finding along the way.
This chapter will help you to begin to organize your environment in a way that makes sense to you as an adult with ADHD. To help you to get organized, I present reasons or motivating factors for becoming more organized; strategies for the before, during, and after stages of organization; a case example of one of my clients who struggled in this area; and some fill-in exercises to help you create and implement your own plan. Start by taking the quiz to see if this chapter will be helpful to you.
Deficits in particular areas of the brain explain the symptoms of ADHD, including why it is so difficult for a person with ADHD to organize. Executive functions direct an individual’s thoughts and actions, and these functions do not operate efficiently for adults with ADHD, leading to the classic symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Let’s take a look at each of these symptoms in relation to organization.
In terms of inattention, differences in your adult ADHD brain make it difficult to filter unwanted information and focus only on what’s necessary to get the job done. The result is chaos in the form of scattered thoughts and scattered stuff. This inability to filter and focus leads to chronic disorganization in many ways. First, when new things are brought into the home, getting distracted can affect where items are put. In addition, existing items are often misplaced. Next, a vicious cycle ensues because added clutter increases information to the environment, and there is more to filter. Finally, trouble focusing and filtering makes the idea of creating and following through on an organization plan seem as impossible as climbing Mount Everest.
Hyperactivity and impulsivity cause further issues in organization. Hyperactivity may make it difficult for you to sit still and attend to many activities, especially those that you find boring or that require concentration. I would wager a guess that a lot of people, even those without ADHD, find organizing pretty boring. Furthermore, impulsivity makes it difficult to stay on task when other, more interesting things are going on, distracting you from your well-meaning effort to organize. Attempting to weed through piles of stuff, especially when you aren’t sure what you are going to uncover, can lead to many distractions throughout the process. Going through a box of old clothes only to discover your 10th-grade diary? Forget it. Not to mention that the “boring” task of organizing is usually in competition with ringing phones, TV shows, or screaming children.
More often than not, adults with ADHD can be their own worst enemies—creating chaotic spaces that serve to increase their inner turmoil. The core symptoms of ADHD all affect your ability to conquer the task of organizing in different ways. However, there are several coping skills that can be developed to overcome these challenges, which I discuss later. Moreover, there are many advantages to becoming more organized that you may or may not realize. First and foremost, freeing up space gives you more of it, and not just physically but mentally and emotionally—less material clutter equals a less cluttered mind. Also, by creating and sticking to rules of organization, you will have more free time to spend doing the things you really want to, with the people you want to be with. By putting in a little time up front, you will ultimately save more time in the long run. Organization rules that become routine will also contribute to reducing mental fatigue and making you feel less overwhelmed because you won’t have to think hard to decide where something should go. Less stuff also means less dust and fewer allergens, so you may literally become healthier by breathing in fewer environmental toxins. You will be a good role model to your spouse, kids, and friends, which, let’s face it, just feels good. Looking around at your clean space will feel good, too, providing you with a dose of self-esteem and accomplishment every day when you walk through the door.
Why Get Organized?
To make the process of creating and maintaining organization as underwhelming and streamlined as possible, we will break it down into the following three steps: before, during, and after.
I know it can be daunting for you to even begin to think about getting organized. In an effort at self-preservation, individuals sometimes say that they prefer living in clutter and chaos. I suspect that, in most cases, this statement is untrue, knowing the havoc clutter and chaos typically create for adults with ADHD, as well as the positive benefits created from an organized space. Instead, statements such as these usually come from a place of fear: fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, or even fear of success and the expectations that accompany it. These fears come in the form of self-doubting questions, such as “What if I can’t follow through and complete my organization needs?” “What will people think of me if they know how disorganized I really am?” or “How will I ever keep things organized once everything is cleaned up?” These fears need to be challenged. I suggest writing each one down. Then, write a corresponding “challenge thought” that discounts each fear. These are those optimistic and realistic, glass-half-full ideas discussed in Part I of this book that serve to “beat up” on your doubts: “If I create and follow a step-by-step plan and take my time, I will complete my organization needs eventually” or “No matter how disorganized and cluttered my house is, there are worse houses out there.” (If you need convincing of that one, stream an episode of A&E’s Hoarders.) Another challenge thought might be, “By instilling new rules and routines I will be able to stay organized with relative ease.” Use the exercise in Exhibit 7.1 to challenge your negative thoughts.
EXHIBIT 7.1. Try It! Challenge Your Fears
Think of an area in your home or office that you would like to organize.
Write that area here: _______________________________________
Write down your fears about organization. On the next line, write a “challenge thought”:
Fear 1: __________________________________________________
Challenge Thought: ________________________________________
Fear 2: __________________________________________________
Challenge Thought: ________________________________________
Fear 3: __________________________________________________
Challenge Thought: _______________________________________
Fear 4: __________________________________________________
Challenge Thought: ________________________________________
Fear 5: __________________________________________________
Challenge Thought: ________________________________________
For adults with ADHD, this innately difficult ability to organize often gets further complicated by the idea that things need to be “perfect.” Let go of this idea now. As the old adage goes, it’s progress—not perfection. Your goal in terms of organization should be to create and maintain a system for simplifying your space that you can manage with relative ease. In addition to the idea of improving rather than perfecting your ability to organize, it is important to approach the task of organizing in a realistic way. Large projects like cleaning out the basement should not be attempted in a day, or you are bound to disappoint yourself. Therefore, time management is closely tied to organization. In a sense, it is just another form of organization—organizing time. Review Chapter 3 for specific ideas for time management. The ideas presented there should be used in conjunction with those set forth in this section. In this chapter, I focus on organization in terms of sorting stuff or things—physically creating a simplified space to live and work, thus, reducing the chaos and added stress that a messy environment generates.
The following is a list of things you should do prior to organizing your space. Make sure you complete the list for each new undertaking. Remember, the more planning and preparation you do, the less time you will need for the task and the less stress you will experience.
In this section, I present various tips for organizing all of your stuff, from everyday usage items like keys, wallets, and mail to important papers about upcoming work projects. The suggestions are general and apply to most people with ADHD. If you need help deciding on specific labels for your filing system (as in, “Should I file my bills by date or by category?”), don’t hesitate to get the opinion of a friend, family member, ADHD coach, or professional organizer. What system ultimately works for you is based on personal preference, and there is no magic bullet. According to feedback from my clients, the following strategies tend to work for many adults with ADHD.
As you begin to weed through the items in your home or office, label each item for one of three categories: Keep, Throw Away, or Donate. There are a few ways you can do this. For small items, piles will work. Lay down three different blankets, one for each category, and place your items on the appropriate blanket. For larger items, try a color-coding system. A former client, Ryan, decided it was time he cleaned out his basement, which was full of everything from old furniture to children’s toys. To distinguish the items among the three categories, he purchased an inexpensive pack of circular stickers of varying bright colors at an office supply store. As he decided where each item belonged, all he had to do was adhere the corresponding sticker to the item and move on. Although Ryan loved this idea and how it helped to streamline the organizing process for him, he discovered another issue in need of resolution. Each item was filled with a memory, and he struggled with whether he should part with many of them. He even stumbled across an old journal and ended up spending an hour reading through it. To overcome this dilemma, Ryan agreed on a time limit to decide where each item went. He set his watch timer for 2 minutes per item. If he had not decided by the time his alarm rang, the item went into the trash.
For the items you choose to keep, you need to make another decision: Does the item get placed in a spot for everyday use, or does it go into storage? Take into account how often you have used the item in the past 6 months and how likely it is to be used in the next 6 months. If the answer is only a few times or less, storage may be your best bet. And, no, on top of your kitchen table is not a storage area. Designate a particular part of the basement, garage, or closet for storage and group similar items together. Place items in large and, more important, clear plastic bins so that you can easily find things when you need them. And don’t forget to label!
In summary, the keep, throw away, or donate rule works like this:
After Ryan made the decision to organize his basement, he struggled to know where to start. When attacking a larger space such as an entire room, it is helpful to first divide it into areas and treat each area as a separate smaller space to be organized. Together, we talked about the layout of his room and a logical breakdown of areas. In Ryan’s case, his basement consisted of a living area that included a large closet and a set of bookshelves, as well as a bar that had become additional storage space. This gave us four spaces to divide and conquer: the open floor space in the living area, the closet, the bookshelves, and the bar. Because the closet was large, we further divided it into segments: the floor, hanging items, and the upper shelf. Before you begin to attack any space, take a look at it. Do you get overwhelmed by where to begin? If so, break it down until each segment is small enough to tackle. If you break the area into four smaller areas, and it still seems overwhelming, break them down again. You may need to create 10 2 × 2-foot spaces before you feel ready to begin. That’s okay. As you conquer each small space, your confidence will grow and each new area will become easier to handle. Alternatively, if you cannot come up with a logical division of your space (e.g., you are tackling a child’s playroom that is covered in toys from top to bottom), divide the space like a grid. Create four quarters using brightly colored string, and organize each quarter one at a time. A similar idea can be used when tackling organization on your home or work computer. How about going through and deleting old files from one folder a day? Or maybe use a “desktop, cloud drive, or recycling bin” rule. Regardless of which method you choose, or whether it’s in the real or virtual world, list your segments from easiest to most difficult and always attack the easiest first.
One novel and creative idea suggested by a former client, Jenny, is using photographs when dealing with organizational goals. She developed a goal of organizing her home office and created several weekly objectives, including cleaning her workspace and setting up three separate filing systems. On her own accord, Jenny suggested that because she would not be able to show the completed effort in person, she should email “before and after” photos of each of these objectives to her counselor. Another client, Sharon, developed a similar goal and applied Jenny’s idea to take and send photographs via text message. Sharon found that “having to email pictures really helped me make sure I did it. And really did it.” Jenny also expressed increased motivation and feelings of accountability as a result of having to email her photos. If you are not working with a professional, agree to send photos to a family member or friend—anyone to whom you can be accountable.
Before-and-After Photos for a Kitchen Cabinet (Top) and a Wardrobe (Bottom)
Both women also reported that looking at the photos produced a sense of accomplishment. In addition, “before” photos can serve as cautionary reminders of what not to go back to, and “after” photos help to remind you how the organized space should look. Keep printouts of such photos on the corresponding space: the closet door, desk, or shelves. These can serve not only as visual aids in maintaining the system you worked so hard to create but also as a way to provide you with a sense of achievement every time you walk by and see the changes you made.
Do you come home from work thirsty, and your keys end up in the refrigerator? Have you ever found your wallet soaking wet at the bottom of the washing machine? Could you have a party made up entirely of people who have found your cell phone at one time or another? One of the most frustrating things about living with ADHD can be the tendency to lose or misplace those everyday items like keys, cell phones, and wallets. For items such as these, the best rule you can create for yourself is to have a specific place to put them each and every day. You probably don’t often lose your toothbrush. This is because, since you were a young child, you have made a habit of keeping it in a toothbrush holder right next to the sink. You can develop similar habits for the other small daily use items through routine and strategic placement.
Timing is also critical. The closer to the door you can empty your pockets, the better because the more time you spend in the home or office getting distracted by other things, the less likely these items are to make it to their spot.
Here is a list of good spots for some of those everyday items:
Do you stick important papers all over your home or office and forget about their very existence? Or maybe you sometimes make the effort to file papers away but either forget that you did or where you put them within your files? Have you often found moldy food in the vegetable drawer of your refrigerator? Have you splurged on an outfit, stuck it in the back of your closet, and then bought another exactly like it months later? Because of distractibility and forgetfulness, most adults with ADHD struggle with keeping track of anything that doesn’t jump out at them visually. You don’t have to be a victim to this “out of sight, out of mind” tendency. Instead, keep things in sight and in mind.
Unfortunately, your house isn’t made of Plexiglas. Still, there are many things you can do to increase the visibility of your items:
The following describes the case of a young mother of four, Cindy. Cindy was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and struggled with depression from her ADHD symptoms. Her marriage was suffering, she could not hold down a job, and she was rarely engaging with her four sons. Cindy sought help for her ADHD with the idea that she somehow wanted to organize her home, spend more time with her kids, and make some money for the family so as to reduce the tension between her husband and herself.
Cindy spoke rapidly and intensely in her first session (some adults with ADHD manifest their hyperactivity verbally rather than physically). She felt she was sliding deeper and deeper into depression as a result of her inability to cope with her ADHD symptoms. She once had a fast-paced, high-profile career in which she used her ADHD tendencies to her advantage. Her job involved building social networks and being able to quickly jump from one task to the next. Needless to say, she excelled at it. But, with the decision to quit and with the birth of each child, she began losing her sense of self and having trouble with the routine and isolating tasks of a stay-at-home mom. “I feel like such a loser that I can’t even manage to do the laundry and get it folded in the same day,” Cindy whispered, “and I have bought the kids so many clothes and toys that have barely been used. Some things even have the tags still on them. And they are just sitting there, making our house a mess.”
While she processed her depression and set a goal to stabilize her emotional state, Cindy decided to set an additional goal to “create and follow through with a schedule of organizing the children’s clutter.” To begin work on this goal, Cindy’s first objective was to think in terms of improving the organization of her space, not perfecting it. She wrote three notes with the phrase “Progress Not Perfection” and taped them to her children’s playroom, her bedroom closet, and the children’s closet. Then, Cindy and her counselor decided on the order in which she would tackle the spaces. Cindy decided her own closet would be the easiest and, therefore, put it first, next the children’s closet, and, finally, the playroom. She found organizing inherently boring and completely unmotivating. Instead, she valued being able to contribute monetarily to her family, spend time with her kids, and make her husband proud. Therefore, Cindy and her counselor created an incentive for her to do all three while ultimately meeting her organization goal: Cindy would organize the items with her children’s help, and then locate consignment sales in the area and sell her items there.
Cindy used the pile system mentioned previously to separate her items. She set a kitchen timer for 30 minutes each day, worked with her older boys to decide where to put things, and then laid out the items on blankets in her bedroom. Her 6-year-old son, Danny, who was learning to tell time, reveled in his job of giving each item a 1-minute time limit for a pile decision. Once mom reached her time limit, he would make a loud “beeeeeep!” sound, imitating a game-show buzzer. Cindy chuckled in her session as she remembered, and a tear came to her eye as she said, “I haven’t had that much fun with my children in months.” Once they were done each day, Cindy and the kids put the items in large trash bags, labeled them, and moved them into the basement.
In the meantime, Cindy researched and committed to several consignment sales in the area, each about 1 month apart. She also noted the dates by which she had to have her items to each site. Cindy specifically decided to work with 1-day events rather than consignment stores so that she would have firm due dates. “It helps me with my accountability,” she affirmed. “I have people counting on me, and my things are needed on a particular day. It helps keep me on track and makes me feel like part of a team again.” As Cindy’s confidence began to grow and she started to see the literal payoff from all of her hard work, her depression began to lift. Even her husband became more attentive—not only was his wife contributing financially to the family once again, but more importantly, he also saw a shift in her mood and responsiveness with their children, to which he was very attracted. Use Exhibit 7.2 to create a plan for organizing your space.
EXHIBIT 7.2. Try It! Organize Your Space
Decide how you are going to break down your space into smaller segments in order to keep you from becoming overwhelmed. List those areas here beginning with the easiest:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
On your own or with the help of a friend or professional, create a specific plan for organizing your space. If it is a closet, perhaps you would like to separate types of clothing (blouses, pants, skirts, etc.) and create an area for shoes. For a desk, perhaps you need an inbox and outbox, and a place to store office supplies. Describe your vision for your space below:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
Draw a picture of what you would like the space to look like when you have completed it.
Now, decide which rules you are going to apply when organizing this space (e.g., “keep, throw, or donate,” photographs, pick a spot, using a timer). Be creative—feel free to make up your own rules in addition to the ones in this chapter. Write them here as they relate to this particular space:
Rule: ___________________ Application: _____________________
Rule: ___________________ Application: _____________________
Rule: ___________________ Application: _____________________
Rule: ___________________ Application: _____________________
Rule: ___________________ Application: _____________________
Rule: ___________________ Application: _____________________
Congratulations! You are on your way toward creating a functional and organized space! As you begin to follow through with your plan, remember to work for small periods of time so as not to become overwhelmed or distracted. And don’t forget to take a photo of your final product to showcase as evidence that, yes, you can be organized!
Often, the hardest part of organizing for an adult with ADHD isn’t creating an organizational system but, rather, maintaining it, or keeping it organized. Several strategies can help you maintain a streamlined space and keep clutter from coming back.
Most important, to help you keep perspective, tell yourself up-front that there will be times when your space won’t be as organized as others are, and that is okay. Life happens. You should expect that while Aunt Marge and Uncle Herb are visiting, you will fall out of your routine a bit, and things might get a little messy. Or a couple of busy days at the office may make it literally impossible to do much beyond feeding the kids and putting them to bed before nearly passing out yourself. The mail will come every day, groceries will need to be bought and put away, and you will continue to receive invoices at work. However, you will recover, and, now, you have the skills to do so. Organizing isn’t a one-time task. Even with proper maintenance, you may need to do a “spring cleaning” every year (or month).
Some of the ideas set forth about during organization can also apply to after getting organized. For example:
Here are some other ideas to help you to stay organized:
Another helpful ongoing conversation to have with yourself is about the way in which you think about clutter. You may have an aversion to getting rid of things for fear that you might someday need them, but make sure to give yourself a reality check. Clutter includes those items in your home or office that serve no practical purpose and rarely, if ever, get used. Practical can mean it serves a function such as a can opener might, or it somehow enhances your mental and emotional well-being, like that framed photo of you and your dog camping at the lake. However, if an item doesn’t fall into one of these categories, you probably don’t need it. Use the worksheet in Exhibit 7.3 to decide what to keep and what to toss in an effort to maintain organization in your space.
EXHIBIT 7.3. Try It! Organization Worksheet
Item |
Purpose |
Last time it was used |
Keep or throw |
---|---|---|---|
_____________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
___________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
___________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
___________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
_____________ |
___________ |
Here are the important points you will want to take away from this chapter. Use the following checklist to note the areas you have thoroughly studied. Leave the box empty if it is an area you would like to come back to and review further.