How to Change Minds

Ever wanted to meet with a powerful decision maker or influencer?⁶⁵ Now’s the time! Setting up a meeting with an influential decision maker or elected leader at any level of government (or their staff) is easier and less uncomfortable than many people think. In fact, these meetings can often be fun!

Even if you don’t have a lot of common ground with an individual leader, for the most part these leaders are polite and considerate and will spend time absorbing and understanding the information that you bring to their attention in a meeting. That being said, persistence is often key here. I’ve seen many elected officials change their minds over time. Sometimes it takes a couple years of meetings and organizing, so don’t give up if a particular leader doesn’t agree with you the first time you meet.

In-person meetings also pack political power because they demonstrate that people are tracking and prioritizing an issue, which then helps a leader focus on that particular issue. In-person meetings also allow time for the legislator to hear what’s happening with their constituents in a way that helps them champion solutions.

You don’t have to fly to Washington, DC, to make this happen. Members of Congress have local offices, as do your state legislators, county council members, and city council members. Don’t be worried if the meeting ends up being with a staff person. Members of Congress in particular deal with such a wide variety of issues that they often delegate specific staff to focus on different policy areas. Getting a key staffer involved can be critical to moving policy forward.

Here are some tips for setting up and attending a high-impact meeting with any influencer, local leader, or decision maker:

Look online to find the nearest office to your home. Search online for the nearest office of the elected leader that you want to meet with in order to find their phone number and office location.

Figure out if you’re meeting alone or bringing friends. Bringing friends can be fun and maximize your impact.

Pick up the phone to schedule your meeting. Let the person who answers the phone know that you’re a constituent, share briefly the topic that you’d like to meet about, and let them know how many people will be coming and if any organizations will be represented. Then ask for your meeting. If they suggest you meet with a staff person, then be sure to ask to meet with the staff person who is assigned to cover the policy area that you’re going in to discuss. Be aware that sometimes it takes weeks to get a meeting on the books. Don’t be afraid to check back in with them if you don’t get a date the first or even the second time you call. Also, feel free to leave a voicemail message that says something like: Hi, my name is and I’m a constituent. I have a quick question. Please call me back at this number .

Research the elected leader’s position on your policy area. Before your meeting, take some time on the Internet to find out how your candidate has stood in the past on the issue area you’re coming in to discuss, as well as to get their full name and title and some background from their biography on their website. See if you find any common interests that could help move your conversation forward.

Pick your top three talking points for the meeting. What are the three points you want to get across about your issue? Write down your very short three main points and print them out before you go in for the meeting. Bring stories to share if you have them, and feel free to succinctly share your own experience, too. Don’t forget to figure out your “ask.” Do you want them to vote yes or no on a certain policy? If so, let them know!

Bring friends and/or colleagues! Bringing a small group, no more than six people, with a variety of different perspectives but a shared goal on an issue can be highly effective.

Have a pre-meeting with your group. Make time to meet with the people going with you, even if it’s just a short time alone for fifteen minutes right before your meeting, to figure out who is saying what and how. (Feel free to make the pre-meeting fun—bring chocolates, cupcakes, or something yummy to share. Make it a meeting that people will want to do again.)

Here’s a sample agenda for a pre-meeting:

Make sure everyone agrees on the goal of the meeting. Is it to tell an elected leader to vote yes or no on a certain bill? Is it to start thinking about a new policy area? Make sure everyone in the room is looking for the same outcome so you don’t accidentally contradict one another. Also, be sure that your group agrees to talk about the same policy area—and understands that focusing on only one policy area in your meeting will have the most impact.

Do a very basic review of the legislation or topic you’re going in to meet about so everyone is on the same page. This review doesn’t have to be a lengthy report; it can be a paragraph. Look up where it is in the legislative process (or ask the legislator’s staff), as well as where the legislator stands so far on it, and share that info with the group.

Figure out what each person will say in the meeting and the order in which you all will be speaking. Choose a person to lead your meeting—i.e., your lead communicator, who will get the meeting started and keep it going. Pick a note taker and determine who will make the “ask.” (Example: Can we count on your support to vote [YES/NO] on bill?) Make sure everyone knows the game plan.

Be sure to provide a mixture of information: some facts, a story or two, and the “ask.” Leave time to listen, too!

In your meeting, make sure to do the following:

The lead communicator should tell the elected leader why you’re there, what bill number or policy you care about, and how you hope they’ll vote and then introduce the rest of the group.

If you brought a small group, consider opening by going around a circle and each sharing why this matters to you very briefly. Make sure the top three points about the issue you’re there to discuss are covered among everyone. Feel free to share a personal story. Just keep it brief. A two-minute story can pack tremendous power.

Make sure someone makes the ask: Can we count on your [YES/NO] vote for bill or policy?

If they respond positively to your ask, then thank them and ask how you can help and if there are other leaders you should reach out to in particular so you can build even more support for change.

If they are not supportive, don’t argue. Try to politely find out why they don’t support your position (Example: I’m sad to hear that. Can you share why? I’d love to know more.)—and if there is any information or resources that seem like it could help them change their mind, then offer to try to follow up with those.

Thank them for meeting with you.

In addition to getting support on your issue, in-person meetings are about building relationships with the decision maker. Write to say thank you after your meeting and be sure to provide any requested materials. If they commit to a specific action, also be sure to write to thank them if they do what you requested.

In your meeting, make sure not to do any of these things:

Don’t feel intimidated! Lawmakers work for all of us, and are human just like us. It’s their job to listen to constituents. That’s you! Not only do you have a right to be there, this is how democracy is supposed to work.

Don’t think you have to be an authority on every microscopic detail on the issue. Feel free to say, “I don’t know.” You are an expert on personal experiences, which happen to be what matters the most. Having a PhD in technical policy specifics isn’t necessary.

Don’t talk for too long at any one time. Your time there is limited so prioritize sharing your three key points and your “ask.”

Enjoy! This is what democracy and fighting for change is all about. This is how things get done. You’re changing the world for the better. Thank you!