CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Introduction

CHAPTER ONE • The Origins of Government

(or) Defending Humanity from Giant Carnivorous Vegetables

CHAPTER TWO • The United States Is Born

(or) The Spirit of Freedom Wakes Up and Smells the Heifers

CHAPTER THREE • Our Government Today

(or) Protecting You from Misleadingly Named Dried Fruit

CHAPTER FOUR • Touring Washington, D.C.

(or) The Many Wonders of Wing Tip World

CHAPTER FIVE • The Presidential Election Process

(or) Goobers on Parade

CHAPTER SIX • A Modern American Political Campaign

(or) Seven Weeks of Truth in Advertising

CHAPTER SEVEN • The Making of the President 2000

(or) Let’s Give Florida Back to Spain (Assuming Spain Will Take It)

CHAPTER EIGHT • The Making of the President 2000, Continued

(or) Quick! Fetch Mr. Rather’s Tranquilizer Dart! (or) Lawyers Out the Wazoo

Conclusion

Dedication

Other Books by This Author

Acknowledgments

About the Author