Step 3:
After-Death Experience
and Instructions
For any culture which is primarily concerned with meaning,
the study of death—the only certainty that life holds for us—must be central,
for an understanding of death is the key to liberation in life.
—dr. stanislav grof
As I’ve described earlier, when physical respiration ceases, the subtle energetic body ceases to exist and your physical body is dead. As this happens, your essence or soul and your life experiences become connected and there is no separation. At your death, your senses dissolve from the top down. The experience of the dissolving starts at the eyes and then the ears, nose, tongue, and touch. You go from the most dualistic perceptions of a variety of inner and outer physical sensory experiences to a non-sensory unity with luminosity and enlightenment as the emerging possibility. You no longer have sensory awareness of your outer world or any sensory stimulus from your body to distract you. The only awareness left is your inner experience.
For caregivers and family members observing the dying person, when all the signs of physical death have occurred, the person no longer has any outer signs or clues of life, but there is still activity in the gamma brain waves. This brain-wave activity lasts for about twenty minutes as the dead person is absorbed in a state of union. This is a critical moment for the deceased. It is important not to disrupt the person’s inner state by moving, touching, or speaking loudly. Caregivers and family members need to sit quietly and consider the dead person meditatively in love and deep caring.
We shall explore in this chapter the question of what happens after we physically die. It is a question most of us ask, particularly as we approach our death. It is our beliefs that win out generally, whether it is from a religious/spiritual tradition, as an agnostic or atheist. Investigations over the past forty or fifty years into so-called near-death experiences are shedding some light on the question. From something approaching 70,000 years ago to today anthropologists reveal that shamanic cultures around the world have traditions that describe physical death as not the end of the life journey. From both religious and shamanic traditions we explore what to expect beyond your death. From these traditions we’ll consider some ways to gain inner guidance for after you die. There are some classic ways spiritual traditions help you recognize that you are dead, and then some exercises for you to explore these after-death questions for yourself.
What Happens After Physical Death?
We do not ultimately know what occurs after physical death. What happens after death is a matter of your belief, but the research into near-death experience may provide some insights for you, and many of our religious traditions explain what lies beyond death. You will find it in the descriptions of early Christian mystics who have seemingly gone through a near-death experience. They describe moving into a brilliant light, confronting beings of light, and journeying into other dimensions of reality.
According to more traditional Christian beliefs, the dead person stays in the ego state they had when alive. Then there is some form of life review and a judgment of their life, the potential of the resurrection of their body in heaven, as well as the mythic journey through hell and into heaven as described in Dante’s Inferno, which reflects the Catholic view of a type of purgatory.
Muslims believe that the spirit of the dead person remains in a timeless sleep until the judgment of the soul, and then there is a kind of purgatory before entering Paradise.
In Hindu tradition, death is a break in the transmigration of the soul from life to life, where one’s previous life determines the karmic actions for what will be given as the next life experience, as a god, human, animal, or some other form.
Buddhism, in general, follows the Hindu beliefs of rebirth and karmic actions determining whether one goes to various heavens or lower hells before being liberated from continuous birth or returning to a human body or some other form.
Jewish scriptures or traditions do not comment about an afterlife and affirm instead living a good, moral life here on earth.
Atheists and agnostics take this one step further by asserting that one can never know what is beyond death. Or the atheist asserts that there is nothing at the end of life, saying, “I cease to exist.” However, all the religious views hold that there is a continuation of your existence through some form of transformation at your death.
Near-Death Experiences
Beyond these traditional beliefs and views about after-death experience, the studies of near-death experience by pioneering researchers Raymond Moody, Bruce Greyson, Kenneth Ring, and Sharon Cooper, among others, suggest a clearer possibility of what lies beyond death. Over the past forty years, there has been a vast number of near-death reports, from blind people to those attempting suicide. In most cases of individuals who were declared clinically dead, they described a common set of themes when they “returned to life.” They first describe being out of their body. They generally experience themselves above their body and looking down at it. The next common element is moving through a tunnel toward a light. For some individuals, they then meet departed friends and relatives who seem to be welcoming them.
The most notable experience for most individuals is the feeling of being completely loved and comforted, but then being told they must return to their bodies. When they do return to their bodies, many indicate that their life has been changed in positive ways. In fact, follow-up studies indicate that those who have had a near-death experience often change the direction, work, and purpose of their lives. Overall, what is interesting in the research is that, whether they are religious or an atheist, the people have similar experiences. One of the hallmarks of near death is that people report a lack of fear about dying and a greater commitment to lead a positive life and some form of wanting to help others.
Shamanistic Near-Death Experience
As I’ve mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, shamanistic cultures, which anthropologists have found to go back as far as 70,000 years, all describe after-life states that can be accessed through the shamanic journey that follows the same pattern as a near-death experience. Using sonic rhythms such as dance or drumming that change the brain patterns, the shaman goes into an altered state of consciousness and travels through a tunnel into other worlds and realities. In this state, the spirit beings in these other dimensions offer healing to cure illness, guidance to where game for food will appear in the next few days, and other types of information needed by the tribe for their survival.
Kenneth Ring has studied the similarity between near-death experience and shamanistic experience. What this work suggests to me is that for thousands of years we humans have been exploring the realms beyond death in countless ways. It is apparent that only in this modern age have we lost the connection between life and what is beyond death.
From my own years of deep states of meditation practice, research into dying, and study with a Tibetan teacher, I have come to follow the shamanic, mystic, and meditative traditions that have explored the dimensions beyond our normal cognition and belief structures and have inhabited the states that go way beyond our cultural mind conditioning. Whatever beliefs you hold, being willing to explore these deeper states of mind will ready you for the journey beyond physical life. For me, this journey is particularly detailed in the Tibetan cosmology tradition, as I’ve been pointing out. Understand, as I present the following process of what occurs after physical death, that this is my viewpoint, but it is validated by near-death experience, the mystical traditions of our world religions, and classic shamanism.
Beyond Your Death
The teachings indicate that immediately after the cessation of the physical body is the best chance of the dead person attaining enlightenment. Several Buddhist traditions hold that it takes only about twenty minutes to confront the possibility of enlightenment because there are no external distractions for the dead person. The soul being or essence emerges literally into a new reality. In metaphysical terms, the dead person is now a surviving energy being with a new awareness.
It is described in the texts that when we experience the twenty minutes after our physical death, we will be in an absorbed state like the bonding or union of a mother with her child. The mind awareness at this moment is clear (because at this point you remain conscious as an aware entity) and the mind state is surrounded, held, and is resting with a feeling of deep comfort and safety. If you are prepared, you will be very open and receptive to this experience of union.
There is also a deep stillness in this resting state, and this unity absorption state of no thought will be noticeable. This is what is called in advanced meditation practices as the awareness of the awareness.
In this first twenty minutes, caregivers will notice that the individual doesn’t look dead but appears to be asleep. If you touch the dead person, there is still warmth around the heart, rigor mortis has not set in, and at this point the body hasn’t started to smell from decay.
Inner Guidance for the One Who Has Died
As the one that has died, it is the time for you to rest your mind and be open to whatever arises. If you are aware in this moment after physical death, a light will arise before you. This is the light of the true nature of your own mind. Also, recognize that whatever arises will be the projection of your own mind. There will be peaceful qualities, images, shapes, colors, and so on displayed before you and then there will be dark and negative ones much like when you dream. If you can recognize them as projections of your mind and not get involved in them, you have the chance to be liberated, to embrace the light of your True Being and be freed from any further pain or suffering. From the shamanistic point of view, Alberto Villoldo says, “When a person retains his awareness after death, he enters the light easily. My mentor compared this light to the dawn breaking on a cloudless morning, a state of primordial purity—immense and vast, defying description. The blackness of death, caused by the collapse of the senses, recedes and is dispelled by the light of Spirit.” 50
For you to be able to recognize yourself in this after-death state, move in consciousness toward the luminous light and know how to deal with your mind projections. It is therefore important while you are still in your physical form to train your mind to not get involved in your inner and outer projections. The mind is like a sponge. While alive, you absorb the contents of your environment, your experiences, and other people’s projections on you. As you die, the contents of this mind sponge are squeezed out and become your entire experience in death. In some sense, this is like a life review. This is why you want to soak your mind with love and create as much goodness as possible in your life to prepare for this after-death experience to move toward the liberating light of your own mind/heart.
At the moment of death, it is the subtle body of your awareness that fits through the oneness point to the other side of this physical experience. We can describe this in many ways. It is the indestructible body of formless awareness of your innermost nature that goes into the beyond. It is this formless awareness that does not die. It is this luminous energy of emptiness, your empty essence, that slips through to the other side. The development and practice of being aware of both your inner and outer experience is what you need to focus on every day, particularly as you enter the dying process, to prepare for your exit and the journey into another reality.
Ways to Recognize You Are Dead
Even though the mind is without a body at the moment of death, the habit of being embodied is so strong that the feeling of being a body continues as a form of consciousness. It is this grasping mentally at being in a bodily form that keeps you from moving toward this new experience of life. Instead, in this after-death state, you might believe that you think and feel like your old self, but what often happens is that you don’t know you are dead.
The Tibetans say that we stay approximately forty-nine days in this after-death state, confronting our own mind states after the opportunity of the first twenty minutes in which the luminous light appears to us. The Tibetans call this after-death period a bardo state, which means an in-between state. This notion of a period of time after death is expressed in many other traditions, such as the land of the dead in indigenous cultures where they experience other dead beings.
Monotheistic traditions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) describe a purgatory or an in-between state before going to a heaven. Also, there are many levels of “worlds” to traverse, as described in shamanic traditions. In any of these traditions, there is no fixed time for how long you stay in the after-state. According to The Tibetan Book of the Dead, the first half of the forty-nine days is associated with confronting the life just ended and the next half is the life you will be moving into—a new life. The tradition holds that for twelve days the dead are in a phase of trying to connect with people they knew, but often not realizing they do not have a body. Often the dead become frustrated because they can’t connect with people they knew. People who have had near-death experiences describe a process of being “judged” in a life review of all their positive and negative actions, attitudes, and behaviors. These individuals say that they are their own judge and this determines other after-life experiences.
The possibility of forgetting that you are dead makes it all the more important for family and friends to read to you the after death readings you have written for yourself for a number of days or weeks after your death. These readings are to remind you that you are not physically alive and that, instead of hanging around family and friends, you need to move forward to the light and your new journey.
Signs That Verify You Are Dead
Many death teachings indicate that your mind is so strong that when you enter through death into the next realm of existence, you keep forgetting you have died. You still believe or want to believe that you are in the normal real world of the living. The following are some indicators to help you recognize that you are indeed dead. These signs come from the death traditions and near-death experience accounts.
• You cast no shadow as you move about.
• You look in a mirror and there is no reflection of you.
• You walk on sand and there are no footprints.
• Your body makes no sound as you move.
• People do not respond to you. You talk, but they can’t hear you.
• You can move unimpeded through matter. You go through walls, mountains, anything that is before you. You are able to fly, read minds, and travel quickly from place to place.
• Events become disjointed, like in a dream.
Exercise: Practice to Prepare for After-Death Experience
This exercise is a practice run to begin to understand and experience what it will be like after you die. The exercise involves a certain amount of pretending, although as you relax and move with the visualization, you may, in fact, have some amazing experiences. Record this exercise so you can play it back to guide you through it. Or have a partner or friend read it to you. Pause after each statement.
Lie down on a bed or on something comfortable on the floor. You need to relax your body deeply for this exercise and permit yourself to move into an alpha and then a theta brain-wave state. Close your eyes and breathe deeply from the diaphragm for several breaths to begin to relax your body. Put your attention on relaxing the muscles around your eyes and then slowly move down your body, telling your brain to relax each area of your body all the way down to your feet and toes. When you’ve fully relaxed, begin the exercise.
• The first step after breathing and relaxing your body is to say to yourself, “I am dead.” Imagine how you died. Imagine where you died.
• Keep bringing your mind to focus on the realization that you are dead by seeing yourself dead in whatever environment you imaged and how you died. If your mind drifts, say to yourself, “I am dead.” Do not be distracted by any life events, as they are only occurring in your mind. This is difficult to realize as your mind is busy conjuring images, but without a body to provide stabilization for you, you can believe these images are real. Again, keep your attention focused by saying to yourself, “I am dead.” Visualize other humans that are dead and that are in this after-death state with you. Feel compassion for them as you encounter these beings in various situations. Remember, as the traditional teachings indicate, when you are dead your mind will make up all kinds of events and people, just as you are doing now.
• After death, you can have scary, if not terrifying, experiences. Breathe and remind yourself not to be afraid, as everything you see is an illusionary situation, like a dream. When anxiety, fear, anger, or uncertainty, among other negative attitudes, arise in you, stop and refocus on the positive in your mind. Practice now to put positive images in your mind. Use images of nature, people you love, and the like. In the after-death state, you need to avoid negative states of mind.
• Practice now while still alive to keep your mind open, positive, peaceful, and in equanimity or balance. Breathing and focusing on your heart keeps your mind positive. This teaches you not to get swayed mentally. Breathe deeply and slowly and feel your inner balance.
• The big challenge after death is wanting to have a body again. To meet this challenge, visualize yourself going through a wall, or instantly be in a different location. Your mind is powerful and can create images now while alive, just as it will when you are dead. You need to cut off yearning for a body by realizing you don’t have one. Continue to visualize flying and move through buildings, mountains, and so on.
• Give up attachments to the events going through your mind. Attempt right now to let go of your thoughts and refocus on your heart. This is basically learning a meditation practice. Breathe and focus on your heart.
• Practice now in this relaxed state to focus on your heart area and feel devotion for yourself as well as appreciation and gratitude for your life. As you focus on your heart, repeat to yourself, “Love is my essence. What I am is love. I am grateful for my life and all that has been given to me whether good or bad.”
• A challenge after death is to not be attracted to soft lights but rather to focus only on bright lights. The bright light is what leads to your awakening. Practice imagining soft lights and then bright lights. Move in your imagination toward the bright light. Keep focused on this bright light until you are ready to open your eyes and get up.
• Record your experience in your notebook.
Exercise: Affirmation for Caregivers After a Person’s Death
This is a good exercise to give to your caregivers as part of the materials you will give them to assist you when you are dying. Also, you may use this before your death as you assist family or friends as they are dying.
I stated previously that the first twenty minutes after dying is one of the most critical times for the dead person passing through to the beyond. As part of the after-death preparation for an individual, many traditions urge people not to touch the individual during this twenty-minute time period if possible. The reason they suggest this is that time is the “gateway” passage of the soul out of the body into the next realm. From the scientific research I mentioned in an earlier chapter, this immediate period after the breath and heart stops the brain is still producing high levels of gamma brain waves that may support this sensitive time for the dead person. However, if it is not possible to leave the body untouched during this time know that the intent to be respectful of the body and whatever experience the dying person may be having is the important issue, whether one leaves the body untouched or is touching it. The mystery of what we will go through when our heart and breath stops is the amazing journey each of us will discover. Below are some suggestions for how to be with the deceased.
• As a caregiver, family member, or friend, sit quietly near the body, breathe slowly, and relax your own body.
• Imagine the body and consciousness of the person who has died take the form of a small light moving up their spine and then quickly flying out from their body at the top of the head like a shooting star and dissolving into the image of the heart of a divine or luminous Presence.
• Affirm, visualize, and even pray that the dead person be freed from all mental and emotional suffering as they are in this Presence.
• Imagine a light or star released from the deceased into the luminosity of the expanding light of the true nature of their mind. Then speak the affirmation, “May your freedom be for the benefit of all beings, especially those you are leaving behind.” Sit in the presence of this person’s body and trust that you are helping to release the individual into another phase of their existence and honor and appreciate them for their courage and the beauty of their journey.
50. Villoldo, Shaman, Healer, Sage, 209.