Chapter 14 College: A Higher Education: It’s Almost Time to Say Good-bye

Dear Harlan,

How is college? Is it fun like everyone says it is, or will I want to come back home? How was your first year in college? Was it hard? Were you scared to finally be on your own? Did you have a nice roommate? Did you have trouble getting to know people? Was it difficult to get around campus? How did you know if you picked the right school to go to? How will I know? As you can see I have a lot of questions on my mind. I would be grateful if you could help me out.

—Baby Love

Dear Baby Love,

I feel like I’m back in college during finals…

So, Baby Love, I think at this point in the book, I’ve covered most of your questions. The answer is that so many of these questions you ask can’t be answered until you get to campus. I can tell you more about my experience, but my experience isn’t going to be your experience. What was normal for me might not be normal for you. But when it comes to the big picture of what’s to be expected, I think you can leave for school with a good sense of what’s ahead of you. And what awaits you is a story yet to be written—a story filled with unexpected twists, wild turns, new emotions, new experiences, different kinds of people, laughs, tears, smiles, and memories that will last you a lifetime. I hope this book helped you, and I hope it will continue to help you during your college adventure. And then, I hope you’ll share what you’ve learned with other students (see Tip #107).

ANSWER KEY:

•College is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

•It’s fun, but not always happy fun, if you know what I mean.

•My first year was hard, but that’s what helped me to write this book.

•I was so scared, I tried to keep my long-distance girlfriend so I wouldn’t be alone—until she dumped me.

•My roommate was nice (nicer when he was messed up), but we didn’t connect.

•I had trouble really getting to know people, but that takes time.

•Getting around campus was easy, once I figured out how to get around campus.

•If you can’t be true to yourself, then it’s not the right college. That’s the test.

As awful and painful as mistakes can be, they’re the reason we grow to be better people. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I sat for a long time trying to figure out what it is that I would do differently when looking back at my college life. If I were to change the past, and erase all the trials and tribulations that I’ve experienced in life, as nice as that would be, I wouldn’t have turned out the way that I am today. When it comes down it, as painful as the past might have been at times, each experience has been necessary to help me grow into the person I am today. And that’s not something I’d ever want to change.

I try to live my life by a thing I call The No-Regret Rule. Whenever I have to make a difficult decision, I ask myself the following question: “What is it that feels right for me right now, at this very moment in my life?” I ask myself that question because I know that I will change over the years, and there’s a good chance that later in life I’ll look back at a decision I made and think, I should have done that differently…

As your college journey is about to begin, or as it continues, you’ll have a lot of tough choices to make—who will be your friends, how to get involved on campus, how to pay for school, how you deal with difficult roommates, what major to pick, to hook up or not to hook up, to get into to drugs or not, to remain a virgin or lose your virginity, to pledge a fraternity or sorority, to drink or not to drink, to get help if you’re feeling down and depressed or not—the questions will swirl around your head day after day. And you’re going to have to make decisions. When you do, this book will be here.

The purpose of The Naked Roommate is to help you to make the best decisions—no-regret decisions. I only hope the information throughout this book will help guide you to the best choices for you. I hope what I’ve written will help you. I hope the tips and stories shared from students will help you. I hope the resources, support services, facts, stats, websites, and hotlines will help you. The information in this book is all about helping you to get the most out of college life. It’s the book I wish someone had given to me. Now you have it and more information than any college student has ever had as part of college life. So now, when faced with a new and uncomfortable situation, ask yourself the question, “Is this the right choice for me?” you’ll know more than you ever wanted to know or needed to know to make the best choice throughout your college experience—and beyond.

Be true to yourself. Be your personal best. If you don’t know who you are or what is your best, figure it out. Do this and leave college with more than a degree—an understanding of what you love and what you don’t love. Then you can spend the rest of your life doing what you love to do. There’s nothing greater you can take with you from college than this—it’s called passion.

If your tip is already in the book, send me your story that corresponds to a current tip. Don’t hold back any details! The more information, the better the tip and story.

As you go through your college experience, keep this space in mind. When something throws you, shocks you, depresses you, confuses you, scares you, makes you laugh, makes you smile, or makes you think, “I wish someone told me…”, send the tip and story to me via email to harlan@helpmeharlan.com (subject: Naked Roommate Tip Seventh Edition). Thanks for sharing the nakedness!